Dreams of An Alter Ego

I make a perfect dry martini, I read and write and speak Français, All my suits, and shirts, and shoes are custom-made. I own a Porsche and Maserati, A house on Acapulco Bay With scores of floors of marble tile that's all inlaid. I have a staff to fetch and carry, My every wish is their command, If I drop things, I just leave them where they lay. All I need do is snap my fingers, Someone's always close at hand, And they look after Señor Jim in every way. I host the most elaborate soirées, They're in society's upper niche, On my birthday and, of course, on New Year's Eve, Where the hoi polloi and high-born Mingle with the nouveau riche, And they're all the better for it when they leave. This all may seem a bit pretentious, And I don't mean to self-inflate, For wealth and fame, of course, do not equate with happiness, But in my dreams my alter ego Will oftentimes exaggerate And make seem real what, to be sure, is pure "b..s".