What to Submit?
Did Santa Claus get stuck in the chimney, Was your last minute shopping a riot!, Hope your muse has a funny bone!
Write a funny Christmas Poem, Your poem must start with:
"Twas the night before Christmas" 4 lines per stanza.
New Poems Only, Date Your Poem,
Example
Some Assembly Required
Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house
I searched for the tools to hand to my spouse.
Instructions were studied, and we were inspired,
In hopes, we could manage "some assembly required."
The children were quiet (not asleep) in their beds,
While Dad and I faced the evening with dread:
A kitchen, two bikes, Barbie's townhouse to boot!
And, thanks to Grandpa, a train with a toot!
We opened the boxes, my heart skipped a beat . . .
Let no parts be missing or parts incomplete!
Too late for last-minute returns or replacement;
If we can't get it right, it goes in the basement!
When what to my worrying eyes should appear,
But 50 sheets of directions, concise but not clear,
With each part numbered and every slot named,
So if we failed, only we could be blamed.
More rapid than eagles, the parts then fell out,
All over the carpet, they were scattered about.
"Now bolt it! Now twist it! Attach it right there!
Slide on the seats, and staple the stair!
Hammer the shelves, and nail to the stand."
"Honey," said hubby, "you just glued my hand."
And then, in a twinkling, I knew for a fact
That all the toy dealers had indeed made a pact
To keep parents busy all Christmas Eve night
With "assembly required" till morning's first light.
We spoke not a word but kept bent at our work,
Till our eyes, they went bleary; our fingers all hurt.
The coffee went cold, and the night, it wore thin
Before we attached the last rod and last pin.
Then laying the tools away in the chest,
We fell into bed for a well-deserved rest.
But I said to my husband just before I passed out,
"This will be the best Christmas, without any doubt.
Tomorrow we'll cheer, let the holiday ring,
And not have to run to the store for a thing!
We did it! We did it! The toys are all set
For the perfect, most perfect, Christmas, I bet!"
Though I suppose there's something to say for those self-deluded...
I'd forgotten that BATTERIES are never included!
Author Unknown
Prizes
Multiple Placements
Preparing Your Entry
Submit one copy of your poem online. Format your poem. Please make your entry easy to read
English Language
Poems should be in English. Poems translated from other languages are not eligible, unless you wrote both the original poem and the translation.
A Note to Poetry Contestants
You are welcome to enter this contest, whether or not you won a prize in one of my previous contests.