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Twas the Night Before Christmas

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'Twas the night before Christmas and I was still shopping when I would much rather have been bar to bar hopping. I juggled bags of presents that cost far too much dough. The sidewalks were crowded and then it started to snow! I scowled at a chubby fake Santa who kept ringing a bell. 'Twas another Christmas Eve straight from the annals of Hell. I stopped for a coffee at Starbucks and got a leaky cup. I've had just about enough of this mayhem. I'm fed up! But I couldn't go home, not yet. I had more gifts to buy. A guy bumped into me. My patience was in short supply, so, I pushed him back and ducked inside a jewelry store. He came after me with clenched fists, and ready for war! A security guard leaped into action and threw him out I stayed put for a while because I knew without a doubt that man was waiting outside, and I wasn't ready to die. I sang, "Oh, you better watch out, you better not cry..." Since trapped for a while, I thought I'd get my wife a ring. Emeralds or sapphires would do. She'd like a little bling. The price was exorbitant, but I wasn't ready to leave. How much worse could things get on this Christmas Eve? A question I should've never asked, and I'll tell you why... There's no Moana Dolls anywhere for my daughter. Sigh. Santa was coming to town but beneath our tinseled tree my kid would cry out, "Santa didn't leave Moana for me." "Sorry," the saleslady said, "I'm afraid I sold the last one." Tis the season to be jolly, but I'll be glad when it's done. What's a dad to tell his kid about the flaw in Santa Claus? I bought her a little puppy and named him Santa paws. I walked down a slippery street with a dog on a leash. What a sight I must've been; a grown man crying, 'SHEESH!' But I was headed home and in need of a shot of whiskey because Santa Paws was beginning to get a bit too frisky. 'Twas a wretched night before Christmas I'll never forget. I waited too long to shop and paid the price with regret. Santa's elves make his toys and reindeer pull his sleigh, but next year I'll be doing my Christmas shopping on Ebay! November 24, 2022 ~ The Night Before 3 Contest Sponsored by Joseph May

Copyright © | Year Posted 2022




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Date: 12/24/2022 6:25:00 AM
Lol, Congrats on your win Jenna, Very nicely penned, Merry Christmas
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Date: 11/30/2022 1:56:00 AM
Ha ha, I really loved the delirious dilemma of shopping dropping:)
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Jenna Logan
Date: 11/30/2022 2:53:00 AM
Thank you, Jo.
Date: 11/26/2022 11:13:00 AM
Yikes! That’s put me off Christmas shopping for life… no presents this year, not even for the wife. Ha ha.., all the best in Joseph’s contest, Jenna. Terry
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Jenna Logan
Date: 11/30/2022 2:53:00 AM
Thanks, Terry.
Date: 11/26/2022 5:31:00 AM
Love it! Such a fun read.
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Jenna Logan
Date: 11/26/2022 9:52:00 AM
Thanks a bunch, Mark!
Date: 11/25/2022 11:15:00 AM
Jenna, a great poem, well done and love the humor!
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Jenna Logan
Date: 11/26/2022 2:47:00 AM
Thanks, Tania. This was such fun to write.
Date: 11/25/2022 7:51:00 AM
Jenna, I loved your take on Night before Christmas! I could totally envision every step and with a holiday chuckle as well!! Well done!! Happy Friday xxoo
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Jenna Logan
Date: 11/26/2022 2:46:00 AM
Thank you SO very much, Mike.
Date: 11/24/2022 9:26:00 AM
No Joke, I have tears in my eyes, laughing my way through your masterpiece. Well written, well rhymed, and totally relatable. Jenna this is a beaut poem, your imagination and wit shine. From beginning to end, its a winner.
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Jenna Logan
Date: 11/26/2022 2:45:00 AM
Oh, Wendy, what a great compliment and thank you!
Date: 11/24/2022 8:41:00 AM
Brilliant writing Jenna, love your take on twas the night before Christmas, Joseph ran this contest a couple of years back. Best of luck ho ho ho. Tom
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Jenna Logan
Date: 11/26/2022 2:43:00 AM
You would make a great ho ho hoing Santa if Milt doesn’t play the part. Thank you very much, Tom.
Date: 11/24/2022 8:25:00 AM
Jenna, you're spoof on "Twas the Night Before Christmas" is hilarious, and is not unlike it will be for many last-minute shoppers. I'm so glad I don't get into that shopping rat race anymore! Exceptional rhymes and rhythm for a lengthy poem like this one.
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Jenna Logan
Date: 11/26/2022 2:41:00 AM
Thank you. I don’t do last minute shopping for any occasion. It’s too much of a hassle but easier to do online. We have become such a spoiled society.