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Kathleen Kroll
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Gratitude for realization that we have very little control

Blog Posted by Kathleen Kroll: 11/23/2016 8:10:00 PM

I'm not sure where to begin tonight.  My heart broke this morning as I listened to the news report re the children who were killed and seriously injured in a school bus accident in TN.  This one hit home.  I could identify with the happening.  Some of the parents, who lost children, had been proactive in compaints about the school bus driver yet in the end they had very little control.  In some instances, it's just hard to find things to be grateful for.  The press has taken a beating lately.  Perhaps we can be glad that they spotlighted the complexities of the situation.

Tonight I was on the phone with my daughter, who has a chronic illness.  She is broken up about the fact that she has so little control over her illness and when and for how long she might be able to be productive.  She has a family so there are certain things she must do.  Of course, Thanksgiving tomorrow and the Christmas holidays makes for an even more stressful situation.   Tonight, she was very sad that she has no control over when she feels good and when she is in debilitating pain, I was able to let go of my hard-driving, goal-oriented self, and say "That's true.".  You do not have control. I do not have control.  We do not have control.  Amazingly, it may have been part of the conversation that allowed her to put some distance between herself and the pain.  It was healing for me.  



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Date: 11/24/2016 6:11:00 PM
this was interesting to see a different take on something to be grateful for and it's so true. We have so little control over many things. I hope you and your daughter get the relief you seek. Like my mom always tells me "pray" and yet sometimes that does not seem to help, does it? I do not listen much to the news but that is sad about the children killed. There are still many things to be grateful for. Think of what they are on this day of thanksgiving and pray that God will find the way for your daughter to deal with her pain. I am very thankful God answered my prayer this summer when I was agonizing over whether to have chemo or not and my answer was not! I think I made the right choice.
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Kathleen Kroll
Date: 11/25/2016 10:35:00 AM
Thank you so much, for your friendship and warm wishes, Andrea. I have a saying I go to. The answer will arise from the depths of your heart ( paraphrased :-(. It sounds as if you have found your answer and are at peace with it. I talked to my daughter last night. Thankfully, she had a good day. There are more of them since surgery last Jan. it seems as if the night before was a catharsis of many months and perhaps some homesickness. Blessings to you, Kathy
Date: 11/24/2016 1:51:00 AM
This is so true... It can be liberating to realize you can't control everything. It takes away shame and guilt, and allows you to accept yourself. I am experiencing the same, and I understand.
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Kathleen Kroll
Date: 11/25/2016 10:38:00 AM
Soo good to hear from someone who understands. My daughter's illness has forced me to grow in this area of acceptance and thankfulness for each good day. Thanks again, Darren

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