Ronnie and l'arte del pinch italiano - Vee Bdosa's Blog

First, I tell you now that Ronnie (Wilson) and Vee Bdosa and Ron Arbuthnot are all and the same person. So, if you have been to Naples Italy or to Rome or Genoa Italy, and ridden in an elevator, you know how they clank and chug along, back in my youth, which is more years than I care to count or admit,  they really made a lotta noise going up or down. But up was the noisiest, while the descent was more sudden and quite, and you wondered if it was even going to stop or not.  

I  really enjoyed my first ride in our Pennsionne in Naples, it had 5 floors, and believe it or not, a real Italian elevator attendant, who never admitted that he ever saw, heard or said anything. So my friend and I, another sailor, got on the first floor, immediately followed by 3 beautiful Italian girls just a little older than we. Everyone was quite until the 2nd floor, except for the chugging of the elevator, then one of the girls looked at me and said, to wit, "Don't you knoabout l'arte del pinch italiano?" 

"Huh," I knew enough Italian to know what pinch Italiano meant. "Some other Italian girtls told us never to pinch any girl either on a bus or an elevator. We would have real trouble if we did?"

"Thema girls nota real Italian girls," she said. "They is Brooklyn girls. Don't listen to them Brooklyn girls, nobody ever pinch any of them and they justa mad."

"Now looka me," said one of the other girls."You justa pinch liddle bit, justanuf to let us know you mean business."

Thatsa right," said the other girl. "You never leta any girl know you just pinched her, justa let her know she been pinched, nothina more. We figure out who did it real fast."

"Amore?" said my buddy.

"No, not amore, nothina more than justa little bita pinch right here." she said, pinching herself on the bottom. "This aint no bacio Italiano, but it might lead to a few."

Then we got to the top floor, and the first girl says to the elevator guy, "Up and down again, Rudio. "These guys need some practice."

So it was up and down up and down, halfa dozen times until the girls were satisfied we got it right. When they got off of the  elevator, one said, "Now you know l'arte del pinch italiano. You see us on the bus tonighta, you give us a nice pinch, then we talkabout the bacio Italiano."

The moral of this blog, is, I guess, never listen to what a Brooklyn Italian girl says about the Italian Pinch.  Or this whole blog just might be a way to break an all day writers bloc. But if you go to Naples or Roma or Genoa, you might just get an education the Italian way.

But them Naples elevators sure did make a lotta noise going up. And never worry about the Elevator Attendants, they never say anything excpet the floor number.