If there's frost on your noodle, don't despair
It's a sign of genius if you've got grey hair
But the experts say when the colour takes flight
Intelligence doesn't just happen overnight
It takes years and years of bumps and grinds
So make sure you don't get left behind
To survive in this crazy and wacky old world
Ya gotta be ready for whatever gets hurled
Grey hair says intelligence between the ears
Achieving great wisdom throughout the years
A scholarly person you've turned out to be
Now if only your kiddies could also see
That parents are not just a couple of dolts
May even be smarter than a lot of young colts
Who may know computers and all that stuff
That's not all there is, it's not quite enough
To be able to deal with the challenges of life
One needs the smarts to deal with strife
For everyday problems that are bound to arise
Facing head on life's every surprise
Don't be embarrassed by frost on you noodle
You've got the whole kit and caboodle
Acquiring great knowledge throughout the years
With loads of laughter and many tears
© Jack Ellison 2014
Us guys never lose our love for the opposite sex
It's deeply engrained in our psyche
It's obvious every single day of our lives
We travel life's highway admiring the scenery passing by
This one make me sit up and take notice
That one turns my rusty old crank
Now this one over here makes me salivate
Us males continue the need to refresh our canvas
We easily get bored with the same old, same old
Variety they say is the spice of life
In my case, it's the whole kit and caboodle!
So keep on keeping on with your provocativeness
As long as I'm still alive and kicking
I'll continue to admire the female form in all it's glory
Your charm will never go unnoticed
Long live short skirts!
© Jack Ellison 2014
I just found out two poodles that I bought
were ferrets! Ay caramba! And guess what?
To make each one resemble less a rat,
they gave them steroids, making them both fat!
They also fluffed their pretty fur just so
around their heads. So how was I to know?
Each one looked so much like a toy poodle
they had me fooled - whole kit and caboodle!
Our veterinarian has verified
the facts for me. Those poodle dealers lied.
And folks now say I should have realized
the truth, which stared at me with beady eyes!
Those ferrets sure run fast; I think I’ll buy
two tiny leashes, or else I could try. . .
to sucker someone stupider than me.
Hey, buy one poodle; get the other free!
For Janice Canerdy's Rhyming Couplets Poetry Contest
* I wrote this April 22, 2013 after hearing a news story about a guy who actually believed he had bought a poodle when it was a ferret on steroids! See above for the link to the news footage!
I ain't surprised by anything I hear on the news nowadays!
The way the gov'mint is bein' run just leaves me in a daze!
This mornin' I heard another of Obama's schemes has gone sour!
Seems that this lulu will add more to China's balance of power!
His stim-scheme gave millions to the A123 Systems Company in Michigan,
To make batteries for hybrid autos - his much-touted transportation plan!
He boasted to workers that this would fuel the economy for years to come,
Yet, it seems the place has gone south and its operations will succumb!
'Tis well-known that we are in hock to the Chinese for a ton of bucks,
And here is the irony of the sorry scheme and a most important crux;
China is buying the place with our money - the whole kit and caboodle!
American taxpayers are left holding the bag - not worth a Chinese noodle!
You won't find this story on MSNBC, CNN or CBS - only on Fox News!
Other media will support Barak no matter what, spewing their biased views!
Hey! That's our hard-earned tax money you're blowin' Barak Hussein!
Are you gonna cut your wasteful spendin'? We're waitin' for you to explain!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Has this ever happened to you, my friends
Was walking my sweetie down the lane
When out pops a sign post and belts me one
Rattles me and shakes up my brain
Was trying to impress my sweetie pie
There was nothing but love on my mind
No doubt my honey was quite unimpressed
Thought I was an idiot of some kind
Tried hard to pretend it was no big deal
As stars buzzed round in my noodle
Attempted to speak only gibberish came out
Affected my whole kit and caboodle
I've always been known as a bit of a klutz
But now try to avoid any shocks
My sweetie and me still enjoy the scenery
But I wear a helmet on our walks!
@Jack Ellison 2012
If there's frost on your noodle, don't despair
It's a sign of genius if you've got grey hair
But the experts say when the colour takes flight
Intelligence doesn't just happen overnight
It takes years and years of bumps and grinds
So make sure you don't get left behind
To survive in this crazy and wacky old world
Ya gotta be ready for whatever gets hurled
Grey hair says intelligence between the ears
Achieving great wisdom throughout the years
A scholarly person you've turned out to be
Now if only your kiddies could also see
That parents are not just a couple dolts
May even be smarter than a lot of young colts
Who may know computers and all that stuff
That's not all there is, it's not quite enough
To be able to deal with the challenges of life
One needs the smarts to deal with strife
For everyday problems that are bound to arise
Facing head on life's every surprise
Don't be embarrassed by frost on you noodle
You've got the whole kit and caboodle
Acquiring great knowledge throughout the years
With loads of laughter and many tears
©Jack Ellison 2012
A Jim-Jam Mickey-Mouse Poem
I think that you might never see
A poem as weird as this might be
For I’ll use luscious words
That otherwise might sound absurd
This poem may turn out silly-sally
Or even a bit dillydally
In hindsight this whole kit and caboodle
May come across as dipsy-doodle
I’ll find a rhyme for titillated
That’s quintessentially outdated
I might include a foxy lady
But not written like my friend Slim Shady
So there won’t be some randy blowhard
Gender-bender sleaze-ball retard
No hooligan with gizmo manikin
No easy rider glissade shenanigan
No penny pincher prude nitpicker
And of course no cowboy old ****-kicker
And I would be recalcitrant
If I were to use this poem to rant
Though I know at times I vacillate
I shan’t lambaste this tete-a-tete
I haven’t worked in balderdash
Bloke or codger or mish-mash
No Tallulah, no Colleen
No rambunctious Charlie Sheen
And there’s no dubious diddlysquat
But that’s abso-bloody–lutely all I’ve got
Mdailey 3/30/12
She is the object of my desire
Hers is the name I sit and doodle
Oh how I long to kiss those lips
As Sweet as apple strudel
I would give every thing I own
The whole kit and caboodle
To spend one minute in her arms
And share a Christmas canoodle