i once looked up to you
a child only seees things through
inocent eyes
i looked up to you even afer what you did to the woman i was a reflection of
i looked up to you even after the bars closed where youd rest your head
i looked up to you when for some reason i had to walk past you pretending i didnt know you
I looked up to you even when youd pass me that joint
i looked up to you even when i would through up from the bottle you passed me and told me to have fun
but i stopped looking up to you when the white line you so graciously passed me filled my nose
and the pipe would pass from you to your friend who caressed my breast and you didnt flinch
i stopped looking up to you when your knees whould hit the ground so you could find that invisible rock that Definitely did not hit the ground
i stopped looking up to you when my life was no longer existing to you and i had to care for my sister.
you turned on me when i fought so hard to never turn on you.
i stopped looking up to you when you became a grandpa and we were sent out in the cold because the rock on the ground gave you more love then you wanted
I tell you that I love you
As I whisper in your ear
You turn to me and kiss me
Hearts go from far to near
I caress the frontside of your wrists
With the least perceptive touch
My fingers turning circles
Is the exafference too much?
I run my hands behind your neck
You've had a long, hard day
Relax and let me rub the nape
I'll knead the stress away
Lie down now on this feather bed
And sleep until daybreak
May all your dreams be sweet ones
I'll be here when you wake
Choose life as it is, come whatever may.
Let neither friend nor foe, block your way.
1/5/2023
The first gift is of love and empathy.
The second gift is of hate and hostility.
The third gift is of fate and destiny.
The fourth gift is of endurance and stability.
The fifth gift is intelligence and awareness.
The sixth gift is of creativity and insightfulness.
The seventh gift is of persistence and courage.
The eighth gift is of capability and reliability.
The ninth gift is of passion and ambition.
The tenth gift is of stubbornness and curiosity.
Due to the fairness of god, he gave some of these gifts to a person in excess and other gifts in less.
Each gift carries the potential to be a disaster or a portal to other dimension.
It's up to you whether to call the gifts a curse or a blessing.
sun warms my bare skin
reporting me today's news
It's all in my hands
Written: September 16, 2021
granted it’s not your problem
kudos you’ve made efforts in the past
some people are ill equipped for loving
it’s a malfunction of their heart
now on his deathbed he asks
that you call ~ might it be to apologize?
there would be better ways but
if you don’t reach out you’ll never know
you’d be in your right to call and say
I was told you wanted to hear from me
here I am… and wait in blatant silence
when you mean here’s your chance to
apologize for your years of neglect
know that karma has a sting ~
you’ll never regret having
given him an opportunity and
if he blows it, that’s all on him
sperm donor
there one minute
gone the next
he’s much too late
for asking how you feel
now is time for his judgment day
and the real question is how if he feels
you hurt me bad
when you weren’t there for me
it felt to me much like
the cancer that grows within you
now do you understand
how much I needed you ~
how do you feel about that?
AP: Honorable Mention 2025
Posted on April 21, 2021
Enjoyment comes from within
It is no one else’s job to entertain or enlighten you
It is no one else’s job to increase your bliss.
This job is yours and yours alone.
Whenever, wherever and however you find bliss
Is yours to do, for happiness is based on choices.
If you love to dance, please dance.
If you love to create masterpieces, please create masterpieces.
When others see your happiness, they will want to be your family.
Let them in if they know how to share their own light.
If they want to squelch your light, and keep you in the dark,
Dance off by yourself, increasing your happiness.
Enjoyment comes from within.
It is yours to nurture and love.
Spirituality, hope and independence are all factors to consider.
But so is who you spend your time with,
and what you spend your time doing.
Happiness is up to you.
It's up to you...
in how you do it
It's up to you...
in how you live
It's up to you...
if you never knew it
It's up to you...
in what you give
It's up to you...
to smile through it
It's up to you...
hit or miss
It's up to you...
save or lose it
It's up to you...
how deep you dig
It's up to you...
in how you play it
It's up to you...
in how it's kept
It's up to you...
in how you say it
It's up to you...
in where you step
It's up to you...
in how you spin it
It's up to you...
how you place your bets
It's up to you...
from the beginning
It's up to you...
until your death
It's up to you...
B-ecause it'll all up to you,
H-ide not your way to life;
E-agerly possess enthusiasm,
L-et it be free of strife.
L-et your name be famous, stay away from shame;
E-arly second of September, endure the other's blame.
A-im to be hard like diamond,
G-room with a thought or two;
B-e firm to feel the joy,
A-s it's all up to
Y-ou.
many things you can do
you can can change too
make up your mind
stop beening blind
in this life
you must fight
to get thur
its all
UP TO YOU
Life slips away like a passing thought;
enjoyed, and then, the moment is lost.
And yet, each second is precious when
Man's mortality must bear the cost.
Time favors the impetuous young
by slowing down to extend their play.
To them, a week's an eternity,
and a moment can feel like a day.
But as the years drop like falling leaves,
time significantly picks up speed.
And though you may wish that it would slow,
time, can but continue to proceed.
We see time as either friend or foe;
although neither assertion is true.
It is how you perceive time that counts;
and that is entirely up to you.
Life and death
What to decide
A heaven and hell
And both hide
Bright and loving
Dark and bold
One is above
One is below
How to decide which
How to chose fate
The fiery pits
Or the pearly gates
Or maybe you're blinded
You just cannot see
That heaven and hell
Are your happiness and misery
Earth is the middle
You make it as you want
Happy and peaceful
Or crazed and confused
It's not up to a fake God
It's all up to you.
There is a way for man to climb
so to connect with HIs divine maker
way up there in His glorious abode
God's planned for our sin breaker
the Lord in the highest heaven above
looks down waiting for man to plead
crying to God for Him to intervene
such love displayed in our every need
At times our very souls will faint
thinking we've nothing else left to do
our hopes seem to be all gone
but then they rise by you know who
The key words are forever the same
they are 'I remembered the Lord'
for He's still in His holy temple
the king is risen flashing His sword
Send up your prayer at any moment
for our great high priest makes intercession
He's the one making our prayers perfect
get on your knees now without hesitation
'When my life was fainting away,
( I remembered the Lord,
and my prayer came to you,
into your holy temple.'
Jonah 2: 7 (esv) )
you must begin
you won't to win
don't just grim
to votes your friend
do it too
ITS UP TO YOU
Life is what you make of it.
It can be bitter- or it can be sweet.
When things don’t go your way,
Don’t give up, and wallow in defeat.
There’s a bright side to most everything,
If you look for it you’ll find.
All things work together for good,
And that brings peace of mind.
When life hands you lemons,
Don’t accept that as the end.
It’s up to you to see the positive side,
And to change the future with faith, my friend.
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