Strings of inspiration swirl through my mind
They float and frolic endlessly
Until they spiral out of control
And eventually get intertwined
For I am a non-writing writer,
An untameable monster - forever trapped in cerebral stagnation.
People judge your addiction
Because they don't understand
How anyone could let life
Get so far out of hand.
They don't see there's a battle
You have to fight every day
Against the demons inside you
Hoping they go away.
While you watch your life
Spiral out of control,
Slipping further out of hand
And tormenting your soul.
You know you need help,
But you're too weak to ask.
When it comes to relieving pain,
Only drugs do the task.
They will fill the hole
That is in your heart
And put your soul to rest,
A feeling you hope won't depart.
It's the only comfort you get
In this life of yours
As the drug overcomes you
And your mind soars.
You think, "Why am I fighting?
I'm never going to win."
This high is your only escape
From this hell you live in.
Boiling the kettle making a drink
Standing alone with time to think
Dishes to clean floor to brush
Where do I start I need a push
Pull yourself together and tackle the mess
Dig out those marigolds and get rid of that stress
Kitchen chaos can spiral out of control
Not facing the problem, you will not reach that goal
Keep on top of that daily cleaning
You will burst with pride and always be beaming
Not being afraid to invite your friends for a get together
Your newly cleaned kitchen looks like it’s had a makeover
Proud and excited things are looking up
Do not let old habits slip it will be back to looking at muck
Its easy to become lazy again over time
Stick to your regime and your kitchen will be fine
Solo and Ensemble contest was this Saturday
And I was asked not to go
My youngest daughter had a part
She sang her pretty songs.
My pickle is the bitterness in my heart I hold
Is more or less a cancer for my soul
And it’s turning my personality ice cold.
I had it in my mind exactly what I was going to do,
The pickle was that I was angry
And revenge I wanted to exact
But I stopped and cried and cried
Because I really wanted a broken relationship back.
I know why it broke,
And I can’t say I am not to blame
The problem I have narcissistic, by psychological name.
And my pickle is that I can’t change the past
And so my thoughts spiral out of control.
No one offers hope when you are down
Good luck to fixing that
Because she is hurt too
Redemption is not a thing I might get
And its not something I expect to ever find.
Like the sour pickle sits in a bath of vinegar.
I don’t expect a relationship pure,
But I hope for a do over
I know it’s much to expect.
Do you know that I live with regret?
I see you
Sad and blue
So lonely
I feel your pain
Everything is so complicated for you
Nothing is straightforward or ever simple
You’re lost in a maze of your own doing
I desperately want to help chisel away
All the excesses that weigh you down
But it’s pointless
You are the only one who can and must do it for yourself
You’re getting caught up in the eye of a tornado
I can only witness as you
Desperately helplessly spiral out of control
And it’s excruciatingly painful to watch
AP: Honorable Mention 2020
Submitted on September 4, 2018 for CONTEST 490 sponsored by BRIAN STRAND
and on September 6, 2017 for contest HURRICANES sponsored by JULIE LEIGH RODEHEAVER
They say you can’t remember pain, but every time I hear your name, I can’t breathe, someone help me.
The memories won’t leave me alone, I’m beginning to spiral out of control.
It’s all too much the thought of your hands on my body, but you see;
these stitches I’ve sown, oh they’ve come loose, talking to you, I am talking about you.
So from here on out, I vow to myself, to find somebody new.
Who won’t bring back the past and play it again, I want to start from scratch, I want the pain to end.
But it’s hard and I’m tired of holding it in, cause we used to sing, about our love.
Now I’m afraid my voice will fade to a whisper.
As long as you were talking, I would be there listening, every word meant the world to me.
There was nothing you could say and I wouldn’t hear you out, that was how we worked, two gears pressing on.
An now it’s all gone.
Everything starts in our head
The possibilities never end
When thoughts mix with emotions
That's when they start to bend
Most times it starts out good
But ends with what we crave
Our thoughts spiral out of control
We're lucky we're not in the grave
This formula can be applied
To all levels of thought
That happen throughout our life
In our own trap we're cought
Though self serving
Most of the time
Our imagination's the box
And we are the mime
Through self discovery
Looking deep within
Atlas here's the problem
Of course it's sin
The life of contrition
Has now come to you
The balls in your court
Choose well what you do
God will have his way
Doesn't matter your thought
I suggest pray everyday
Follow what God taught
Can I love and will I ever feel want,
Smooth skin, soft with a perfect line.
I stand in the castle upon a sheer hill,
The castle of my own confine.
It’s a chilling reflection on water at night,
From our living, breathing full moon.
You’re my eye of the storm sitting in the middle,
Of a raging swirling typhoon.
I cascade and I spiral out of control,
Inside I’m every beautiful crazy rainbow.
Floating alone not steering deep down,
Free falling through my silent grotto.
When I drown you’re my air in a bubble you live,
Floating through space in the open and blue.
My quarter past ten in the greenest of forests,
You're my timber, my perfect type of you.
the wrong end of the stick was got,
it did not take an awful lot,
the words that were misunderstood,
how could she get it wrong, many would,
completely got this one wrong,
the beginnings of an ugly song,
that would spiral out of control,
now those words are on a roll,
down a path they will be lead,
instead of being put to bed,
but its kept alive much, much longer,
the words are getting stronger and stronger,
gaining meaning, shape and size,
others will try to summarise,
what to interpret from this situation,
relatives, friends on a word creation,
adding their bit to the group,
a never ending sentence loop.
He loved you too, you know
Loved you like his very own
In away you were
You came into his life as my friend
Through the years you grew to be my brother in arms
Along the way you became the son he never had
He loved you as a friend
He loved you even more as a son
A son he never had
When things began to spiral out of control
You stayed when so many others ran away
You helped when I couldn’t
You meant a great deal to him
You never looked at him differently
Nor did you treat him differently
You stood by his side
When he fell, you stood by his side and mine
You were willing to help me fight his battle for him
You were there from the beginning
You were there until the bitter end
Always remember my friend, my brother
He loved you more than you’ll ever know
Dedicated to close Family friend, who Loved our Dad just as much as us.
Your absence is my heartbreak
Without you, my life seems to
spiral out of control.
I seek a path that can free me
to no avail
How can I let go if you continue
to live inside of me.
How am I to erase the memory of
your embrace. The delicate way
your hands caressed
my skin, your breath upon my breath
the passionate kiss.
Dark hair wild flowing as if
thousands of dancing butterflies
had landed on my chest.
I was yours, you to be mine
All those moments of longing and
quiet desperation lingering still.
I can not have you
yet all my being is at stake;
and all I can
do is continue to love you
while my heart Silently breaks
Silver encasement
I rest my hands on
while my fingers
do the talking, walking,
pounding buttons
faster and faster
sloughing off of head
until they all
spiral out of control
and I’m already wrapped
up inside another