Short Udders Poems

Roses are red
udders are pink
your moms a dink...

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My cow says me-ow
  My cat says moo
The cow chases mice
  The cat, udders grew...

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A holstein was feeling forlorn
from waking alone every morn;
With udders fantastic
Of silicone plastic,
She’s grabbing the bulls by the horn.
...

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I met an old prostitute Mary,
Resembling a cow in a dairy:
She lived to make whoopee,
Her udders were droopy,
With private parts smelly and hairy.

14th June for Roy’s Bawdy limericks II contest...

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When milking the cow,
here's a bit of advice to heed:
Don't handle her udders too roughly
Or you just might get a kick,
you ain't never gonna forget
Milk the cow right,
then drink of the 
white liquid substance of life...

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everyone eats
everyone chews
tails are flicking
whoobe whoo woose.

chomp chomp chomp
flick flick flick
barn has lots of women
they like their farmer slick

pull pull pull
our udders are full
where is that blasted farmer?
for our pull? pull? pull?...

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One fortune teller to another, “we’re going to have a hot summer”
The second one says “like the summer of 2092, that was a hummer?”
All wore metallic shorts
Special shields to cover our warts
Remember when girl robots showed their i-bums and had multitasking udders...

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(This is a fictional poem)

My cow didn't give buttermilk when I pulled on her udders.
Only regular milk came out even though I fed her lots of butter.
Now I'm feeding my cow lots of chocolate but no chocolate milk is coming out.
People say when it comes to believing that I'm stupid, they have no doubts....

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What do cows do?
Munch munch grass and moo,
Watch horizons long and blue,
Listen in to insects humming,
Splat fat cow-pats on the dirt.

Cows walk to the dairy in a crowd:
To and fro, to and fro,
Their udders swinging as they go.

They line up for the metal calves
With sucking tubes all disinfected,
Yet cows still seem to sleep contented....

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the land of five suns
each with its duty

one dries beads of dew
that stagger as  rodent
from rabbit hole

another people’s hopes
that form in  dreamy eyes
of orphans

milk from udders the other dries
that no woman may hold a child

the last one everyone enjoys
marriages it bakes
as hard as leather bags
floating among hyenas
in grandfather tales...

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Hundreds of snowdrops
Flowering under old trees
Cold horses awaiting 
Their food to be brought
Paint-flaking windows 
Reflecting thin sunlight
Large piles of wood chopped
To warm up the freeze
Cows at the farm-gate
With milk-swollen udders
Birdsong awakening 
An old hive of bees
Arthritic limbs crackle
The old cat’s awake now 
One eye open
A paw stretched
Assessing the scene...

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as the hen settled down on her eggs
  and the burro brayed his last bray
the moon slowly rose in the sky
  fulsome and round to the eye

sated calves nuzzled up against udders
  while fillies snuggled into their mothers
lambs curled up beside sheep
  the world had plunged into sleep

yet denizens of the dark kept on going
  internal time clocks never slowing
night crawlers dancing 'til dawn 
  miles from the doe and her fawn...

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(Moo cow moo)

Moo moo comely cow
Have you any milk?
No ma'am, no ma'am
Why you need my milk?

Some for my cereal
Some for my tea,
Some for my ice cream
and some for my cheese.

Moo moo comely cow
I see two udders full,
Yes ma'am, yes ma'am,
But I am running little low.

Have some for your need,
Some for my baby to feed;
Moo moo comely cow
Thanks for your good deed!


Funny Kids poem contest by Team PoetrySoup...

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Birthdays are a bitch
I don't want to get old that's true.
Rows of wrinkles like a shar pei
Thinning hair looking sort of blue.
Heart and Hearing not as they once were
Droopy boobs like udders on a cow,
All your joints are wearing out
Your hips and knees are new ones now..

Going to the loo is a timely nuisance
In your bladder you no more trust. 
Remembering to note the toilet areas
Liners in your panties are a must .


Penned 27 August 2014...

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Ear,  Ave u herd of a cow
she goes by the name of 6373,
an itch between her toe,
she has horns the size of a pitch fork 
her udders are ready to go...
Wait one minute
so you can see 
I' ll fetch the Lantern for Mrs O Leary...
You dashed about the factory 
looking for the oil 
kicked a Lantern over 
Chicargo burned to the soil....
You blamed it on the cow 6373
an itch between her toe
horns the size of a pitch fork 
her udders ready to go ........

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