Short Sauerkraut Poems

Good luck food- to bring good luck into the new year...

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mower and fresh grass 
pepperoni with pizza 
cabbage sauerkraut...

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ant ethnic heaven 

sauerkraut and kielbasa 

dancing the polka...

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Sauerkraut in the kitchen
Chased the pastrami away
Now I can’t make a Reuben.
Start of a really bad day....

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Alsatian sausage
with sauerkraut, potatoes, cloves
Slow cooked in Reisling...

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Fresh unpasteurized sauerkraut
(so probiotic!)
Cooked slowly with sausages,
Potatoes, and ham;
Sweetened with Riesling
A pinch of
Cloves...

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Pastrami on rye, piled up so high
  Sauerkraut oozing out from the side
Served steaming hot, with mustard on top
  My last sandwich be this ~ gladly I'll die...

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Tried a quatrain, it didn't work out
Guess lims are it until there's a drought
So far, so good
In all likelihood
Lims will keep coming till I like sauerkraut...

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Sooner or later without any doubt
Beings from space will be wandering about
Of this I'm certain
Perhaps a different version
And they might even like sauerkraut...

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Cataracts are bothering me, checking it out
Blurry at best, peeing in the sink or thereabout
Walk into walls
Drink ethanol
Lately by mistake, I've even eaten sauerkraut...

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Roast pork infused with garlic
oh so succulent
wrapped in shreds of sauerkraut
juicy,slightly browned
pan drippings aside
for the spuds
yum!


for contest sponsored by Russell Sivey...

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Words and phrases come cascading out
When the moon is full and I eat sauerkraut
It's spooky for sure
My thoughts are impure
But as long as they rhyme, I'll munch on bean sprouts...

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Sooner or later without any doubt
Beings from other planets will be wandering about
Of this I'm certain
Perhaps a different version
Without prejudice, they could even like sauerkraut...

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I found a book of ancient spells
It’s hard to read and it smells
I found it at a German bookstore
“My current meal is such a bore,
so this spell I scream and shout
give me a heaping wad of sauerkraut”...

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Most unpopular vegetable is Brussels Sprouts
Have taken a survey and I find there's no doubt
Now don't take a fit
For unpopularity they're it
Well, strangely I love 'em more than sauerkraut...

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Hippocrates was really good
At curing most ailments with food
Your body knows best
Put it to the test
And choose food which best suits your mood!*

*e.g., a pregnant woman choosing sauerkraut ice cream...

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Shopping now is such a treat
  With a mask on, feel the heat

Within five minutes, my neck is sweaty
  My specs mist up ere I pass spaghetti

By the time that I have reached check-out
  My whole cart smells like sauerkraut...

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Roasted pork and sauerkraut
   Dripping in it's juice
Pennsylvania's feast for luck
   Mashed potatoes too
   Meat falls off the bones
        New Year's Day
             Yay!





* for Barbara Gorelick's contest "Harvest Foods Epulaeryu"...

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I’m not the best good-looking guy.
I burp a lot.
I’m very shy.
I’m sure I’m going bald real fast.
That odor is the gas I passed.
I snore at night.
My skin breaks out.
My breath smells like old sauerkraut.
My palms are sweaty.
I do cross stitch.
But honey dear…
I’m filthy rich!
...

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Seahorses in my sauerkraut
And no apologies or explanation.
I watched them cavort for a bit
Then I turned to the raccoons sliding down my plate
and I asked them what was happening.
As if we would know? One mouthed back.
Better ask the Ketchup.
The Ketchup speaks English?
Strangest breakfast yet....

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She said she would
but I never could

find the time to meet
but then I got cold feet

what if my wife finds out
I have to think things out

should I take a chance
and to hell with the expense

I will give the girl a call
and meet her at the mall

No, I will stay at home and not go out
perhaps take home some sauerkraut...

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If it were not for the pork and black eyed peas
My husband would not be eating this meal with me
I love my pork and sauerkraut for our New Year good 
luck meal
Hubbie hates kraut and would take bad luck that is
just the way he feels
I will have the kraut and him the black eyed peas
Then he will share in the good luck meal with me...

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Engine On My Plane

Engine on my plane petered out
What I did know without a doubt
After hearing a sputtering sound
Soon hard would hit the ground
So had hot dogs with sauerkraut.

Plane had been shot down over
Germany.

James Thomas Horn
Retired Veteran and Poet

http://www.poetrysoup.com/poets/top_100_poets_most_poems_all_time.aspx...

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I shall do a dish and a dash and a ha ha ha
making myself young, so fiddly fah lah lah
so saying, the old witch gave a loud gaffaw
her cauldron boiled and bubbled next to her bra

I pretend to cook kale and sauerkraut too
but in truth, I am concocting a witch’s stew
to make me as young as twenty-one or two
Wish me luck! Cackled the old hag, Libby Lou....

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An Indonesian flag is a Polish flag upside down.
The capital of Jakarta is a long way from Warsaw town.
On the islands of Sumatra, Java, and Borneo,
sauerkraut and kielbasa is something they don’t know.
Has the average Indonesian ever heard of Thaddeus Kosciusko?
Does anybody know a good Indonesian joke?
People tell Polish jokes until they choke.
There is little to compare between these two countries.
Poland and Indonesia bear very few similarities.
...

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