Short Quipped Poems

“Mid-life!”
Quipped  wife

Grays fly
Hair-dye



Andrea Dietrich's Contest
'Let's Keep Footling Around'
8/19/2014...

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Proctologists need to write when 
A prescription's called for big ben 
But a doctor equipped
With thermometer quipped
An as_hole's walked off with my pen...

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Could you be serious for one minute? She asked.
Like the Dog Star? I quipped.
Radiant I glowed, and in the moment, basked;
Inexplicably, the next, I tripped....

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ETIQUETTE 

I wrote a poem
waited for all the replies
people said, "Tanka" 
(as they quipped back a note)
I said, "You are most Welcome!" 

- Edlynn Nau
© May 14, 2016...

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A short-sighted barber named Dave
Bid folks to 'Sit down and be brave!'
With ears and neck snipped,
Departing they quipped:
Whew! That was a very close shave!'


Bite Size Poem No.42 Poetry Contest
Sponsor :Line Gautier...

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There once was a fellow from Bude
Who loved to play golf in the nude,
Someone quipped "that thing, 
Has a hell of swing,
He sure is one well equipped dude."








Entry for
Make Me Laugh Limerick Contest Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Tania Kitchin.
29/8/2019...

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He deserved all our votes and said why,
But attention was drawn to his fly;
He'd left it unzipped,
So one voter quipped,
"If you can't manage that, then goodbye."



November 1, 2022
A Funny Limerick-Make Me Laugh Contest
Tania Kitchin, sponsor

counted by howmanysyllables.com...

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King of Labangru sent me a gift 
                                   My ubiquitous wife was so swift
                                      She neared me and said “Ho”
                                      God bless me!! I quipped “No”
                              Oh !She got miffed and went to shoplift...

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President Carol of USA met Adam and Eve in White House lawn
        Adam said Hello, Eve smiled a bee, beside the marine one “Fawn”
                          ''Nice bird'', said Adam, in inspiring awe
                     Quipped Eve “Man, you follow the Dalton’s law”
     They both were happy,  praised the coffee, and kissed Ms. Carol Hawn....

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WW1
and after bloody ww1
 our returning boys,
were bloody numb,
to walk the roads,
 with a swag outback,
to live on rabbit on the track,
half crazed from bomb and gas attack,
as crazy seen by some,
old soldiers on their rum,
when they could get em some,
outback...

re: Dave Williams excellent "The King's Shilling"

Don Johnson

World War One 1914-1918

WW2 Aussie soldiers, were five bob a day murderers, they quipped:)...

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They searched for it in a Christmas tree, Christmas sock,
chimney, between the Christmas cards, but couldn’t find it…..

They went out and split the Snow Man 
into two, but it wasn’t there;
“It has a funny way of playing hide and seek in such a serious day for celebration,” they quipped in their thoughts.

Little did they know that the Christmas Spirit was sitting
in their hearts, waiting to be discovered, and shared
to other seekers....

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"Aliens are evil!" the man quipped.
Angels being part of the Light,
the man and the professor concluded
they travel at a speed of light.
"Angels are filled with love"....the man said.
The professor thought for a while, chuckled,
and asked the man,
"Do you want to be part of the Light?"
which the man shouted a re-sounding "Yes!"
The professor said, "Then stop hating aliens,
and love them....it is by love you become
part of the Light"....

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"SHE TOLD ME SHE WAS CONSTIPATED ,"BILL QUIPPED 
"TALK IN MY GOOD EAR  I'M KINDA DEAF , "BOB DIPPED
 
"SO I PUT TEN PRUNES IN HER CEREAL , " BILL GIGGLED 
"GOT GAS BUDDY DON'T GET TOO CLOSE ," BOB JIGGLED 

"JUMPING JACKS  WILL HELP ," ITS WHAT I SAID TO HER
" BILL, I 'M GONNA LET ONE GO, MY STOMACH SAYS GRRR 

AS BOB SINGS  FRANK SINATRA IN A BARITONE VOICE
BILL FARTS THEN SAYS "SORRY BUDDY I HAD NO CHOICE" 


11/04/2019

For Eve Roper's contest, #2 photo...

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A preening promiscuous princess posed as "Penelope Prude."
With her poodle and parasol; well-perfumed, on Pine Street she stood.
A pompous pilfering pimp with a pink-painted poodle passed by.
He paused, popped his eyes, then approached while plotting to pounce and ply
the princess with persimmons and pearls, prepared to profit from her,
but Penelope quipped, “Poppycock! I’m a capitalistic entrepreneur!”


For john freeman's "Alliteration Poems Please Poetry Contest"...

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His soft tissue, it ripped
   All his discs, they had slipped
To the ER, the ambulance zipped
   To right this poor fellow's ship

His wife's hand he gripped
   On the worrisome trip
His whole world had flipped
   His wings had been clipped...

The monitors blipped
   His confidence dipped
Liquid steroids he sipped
   Drip-drip, drip-drip

Here the doc snipped
   Over there did he clip
Then he grinned, and he quipped
   'You've no more spine
     ~ Just a postscript.'...

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