Short Peeing Poems

Fire hugs the water
Frogs peeing diesel on them 
Stop burning from birth

- August26, 2018 Chattogram...

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some for a fact
don't get in the act
theyer not crazy
some lazy
and do it for fun
as you run
theyer are a
PEEING TOM...

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release the hounds
as the seven a m
trumpet sounds
but i'm just
trying to releave
my dog peeing on
what is my pissing grr

ound...

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He always goes "wide left" when peeing after drinking
Expects me to scrub the floor stench; what is he thinking?




*Entry for Susan Burch's Couplet contest...

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The dogs were line up to pee
On what was a special oak tree
Frigid, but waited in line
All thoughts had crossed their mind
Peeing on the tree made them feel glee

...

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Cataracts are bothering me, checking it out
Blurry at best, peeing in the sink or thereabout
Walk into walls
Drink ethanol
Lately by mistake, I've even eaten sauerkraut...

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Didn't know there's rules I didn't know
Till someone told me bout peeing in the snow
Gotta chuckle outta me
Filled me with glee
Will I be frozen in time like Marilyn Monroe...

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They say love is like peeing on your uniform
Everyone can see it but only you feel the warmth
It felt so good it did
When you were a kid
Nothing else mattered, not even your warts...

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Often found that peeing is exhilarating
Especially when there's a fresh fall of snow awaiting
Writing your name
Guarantees peeing fame
“The Official Book Of Records” will be waiting...

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Now if I were a boy I'd burp a lot
I'd be mischievous and not get caught
I'd learn to spit
Smelly gas emit
And when peeing I'd not have to squat



For the " If I were a Boy" contest......

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Every autumn, I drool with anticipation
Thinking of the treat that comes with the season
Yes, it's corn on the cob
My taste buds do throb
Trembling uncontrollably, salivating and peeing>center>...

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Grand father said, " Aye! come here, here bean!" 
Grand child- smiling toothless and peeing 
stretching old wabbles 
crippling child bubbles 
One for another powerless twin!


-September 23, 2018 Chattogram...

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With a first sip of java I reach heaven's door
Come back to life and start soaring once more
Like a fairy type being
As I hold back my peeing
Mere mortals have rarely witnessed such beauty before...

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Didn't know there were things I didn't know
Till someone told me bout peeing names in the snow
Gotta chuckle outta me
Filled me with glee
The experience will be enhanced while playing the piccolo...

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insulting yet a sponsor on a site where you compete
is much akin to little men a-peeing their own feet

a mystic rose by any name is lovely as can be
so be a mensch, clean up your stench, and act reasonably
...

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Half the day gone by and you ain't got nothing.
Three quarters of the day gone but you can't fall asleep...only six hours 'till eight o'clock.
How will you last, how will you stop from peeing your pants, how will you ever survive?...

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When you reach old age, things don't have the same importance
Like brushing our teeth, changing our undies or peeing in torrents
Others don't take baths
Unless somebody asks
Maybe such topics are taboo unless alone in a forest...

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If we knew in advance that all daughters and sons
keep us up every night: yours and mine — everyone’s
(teething, peeing and screaming,
yet so INNOCENT-seeming),
we’d be living in convents like well-rested nuns....

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It's hard to smile in Frisco, with feces on the ground
    Equally difficult in Chicago, where crime abounds downtown

  But there's always 'sunny Florida,' from which leftists are fleeing
    No more socialists, LGBTQ-advocates, or folks on sidewalks peeing...

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culture shock welcomed
so weird taking it easy
been needing this long

skies are fully blue
time is my New Friend Again
calm now existing

happy disbelief
like writing with my right hand
change medicinal

blood pressure normal
fluid in my legs now gone
peeing away stress...

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Caseworker’s Rounds

	Cabrini-Green 
	Public Housing
        Chicago

Where I am now
there are no leas, no
sheep feeding.
There are tenements,
children breeding.
Where I am now
there are no trees, no
wrens lighting.
There are halls far, dark,
an old man peeing.


Donal Mahoney...

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Caseworker’s Tune

	Cabrini-Green 
	Public Housing
        Chicago


Where I am now
there are no leas, no
sheep feeding.
There are tenements,
children breeding.
Where I am now
there are no trees, no
wrens lighting.
There are halls far, dark,
an old man peeing.


Donal Mahoney...

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HERBAL TEA

The booze ran through Terri but she 
kept peeing as fast as can be. 
The money ran out, 
She started to shout: 
"From now on I drink herbal tea!"

***

Part of Jan Allison's latest limerick collaboration: DRUNK IN A BUNK :)
October 25, 2016...

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A young lad once got caught in his zipper
An unfortunate case of the ripper
He shed lots of tears
Never lost his fears
Of peeing in his new bedroom slipper.

TENTH PLACE WINNER
written March 1, 2022
entered "Naughty Yet Innocent" Poetry Contest
sponsored by Mohan Chutani...

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My little helper.
She said she needed attention,
So some advice I did seek. 
I was told to take some Niagra,
Couldn't stop peeing for a week.
Every time we jumped into bed
I said, hang on, I've got to go 
When I got back the fourth time,
She was already fast asleep. Oh No.
© Dave Timperley 01/04/2019...

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