Short Pecker Poems

Pecking wood pecker will never hide.
Though never losing his strong pride....

Read More

There just honey bees
   Those feathered ones are all birds
             This here’s a pecker...

Read More

wore shirt witch checkers
heard that is name is Pecker
had been a real wrecker

Friend of Trump's of course....

Read More

my wood
pecker hips
come
knocking
on your
tree
trying to
find
something
to eat
but
even yours
has
a back
door...

Read More

Leo the Lion's back in town
All the lads are wearing a frown
They want to look tough
But he plays too rough
When they can't keep their pecker down...

Read More

Viagra is the pill for me
Two minutes and I’m hung like a tree
With me gland 
In me hand
Oh boy six hour of yippeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! 

*me poor pecker*...

Read More

There once was a bold picidae*
Who pounded his beak just for play
on a double-decker
bus, now his pecker
resembles a flawed fricassee

(*picidae - woodpecker)...

Read More

Peckers can peck 20 times a second
Must hurt at just 2 times I reckon 
Not swift these guys
Stop now I advise
Or it's off to emergency the pain to lessen...

Read More

A signorina on the game
Met a chap whose pecker went lame
Pinocchio knew
What she should do
And Roman Candles rose to fame


(as did "Liar!  Liar!
Pants on fire!")...

Read More

I think my old hen is a morphadite.
She mothers her chicks and lays eggs, alright.

But the other hens said,
when they all go to bed,

She pokes them with her pecker, late at night!......

Read More

A cute little pecker this birdie of mine
Pecking away losing all sense of time
Of a birdie I speak
Not Mr. Happy so chic
A woodpecker pecking away as the world is in rhyme...

Read More

LITTLE PECKER, BIG PECKER 
AND WOOD PECKER 
SAT ON A WALL.
LITTLE PECKER AND BIG PECKER 
STOOD ERECT
AND WOOD PECKER 
HAD A BALL.
HOW COULD THREE PECKERS ON A WALL 
HAVE A BALL?
I ASKED MISS WOOD....

Read More

Slave-driving beaver:
"Dam it
Damn it!"

Unhappy restaurant client:
Diner
Whiner

Neutered Tomcat:
Benign
Feline

Why did she slap me? All I did was:
Toot her
Hooter

Careless Urologist:
Pecker
Wrecker...

Read More

Parked at the lake where we surely were't strangers
A Starling momma thought her babies were in danger
She flew at my head
Pecking away to my dread
Till I ran in terror trying to save my old brainer...

Read More

A cute little pecker this birdie of mine
Pecking away losing all sense of time
It's of a birdie I speak
Not Mr, Happy so chic
A woodpecker pecking away as the world is in rhyme


© Jack Ellison 2015...

Read More

Woody Wood-Pecker


Does anybody remember the cartoon Wood Wood-Pecker?
Always used to laugh, do, play and sing to say so what the hecker
The show sure did last
He surely did fast
And did you know he’d really never and pick at your pecker.

Written: 1/30/15
Theresa Marie...

Read More

She said I love to do the 69
So there we were in my zodiac sign
She on top
Me ready to pop
As we rolled down the hill into a prickly vine.

Nine months later it’s not mine
It must be the prickly vine
You were prick here and there
I remember your orgasmic stare
The little bugger has a woody pecker down there...

Read More

once upon a time
a Roy Cohn
read little Donald 
a story about Pinocchio
a little boy 
who when he died
and rose to hell 
for every lie he told on earth
his yellow colored pet wood pecker 
the same color as his hair
and his essence
would grow a fraction of an inch
and all his ex pals would be there
to be amazed 
and call him the golden one...

Read More

Off in the misty distance
I hear a hungry woodpecker
Hammering with his head.
This omnivorous, opportunist
Breaks the silence of the morn
With his rat-a-tat-tatting
As if knocking on a door.
His persistent pecking
Will end with success
When he excavates
The hapless insect
A meal deservingly gained
But the silence won’t remain
Because he'll begin all over again....

Read More

I dreamed of leaving this rat race
Even when the baboons oppressed the monkeys
and the bees disturb the king of the
Forest ; the wood pecker continues his mission
The tiger lies flat waiting for his
Prey ; as the antelope eats with caution
also the toad rejoices for the rain 
I dreamed of leaving this rat race. 



CONTEST:"8 lines 7 words Enjambment" sponsored by Rick Parise...

Read More

I saw a Woodpecker up a tree.
He looked very cross-eyed to me.
This woodpecker could not peck,
The poor bird was a wreck.

His pecker had dropped off,
When he very loudly coughed.
I saw him banging his head repeatedly,
Because it was time for his tea.

Woody soon felt very weak.
You can't be a woodpecker without a beak.
I realized why he looked cross-eyed to me,
He kept banging his head upon the tree....

Read More

Wood~Pecker; Wood~Pecker,
Peck My Tree Drive Me Hollow
Til' I Scream~Cream..

Don't Waste Time Go At
A Steady "Pace," So I Don't 
Loose Sweat Nor Faint.

Your Long Beak Slams Like:
Hammers N' Nails When My 
Heart, Pounds Hard N' Heavys 
Beat: Sending It Through The 
Roof: Is Where I Want To Go.

Another Good Blow,
With One More Ounce 
Of Good Love; I Am 
Bound To Give You
All That You Need.

Say's The Wood Chuck; Chuck.......

Read More

Boris Becker
misused his pecker
He had sex in a closet
leaving a baby deposit!

Inspired by Brian Strands' poem Becker which was about an artist and my poem is posted with his kind permission

Tennis player Boris Becker had sex in a restaurant closet with a model he'd just met. Becker acknowledged paternity of a daughter, Anna, with Russian waitress Angela Ermakova, not surprisingly his marriage ended!

09/28/21...

Read More

Ceiling above my skull
beyond the clouds
above the space and time
as silk moire, wand of ivory,
shadows of memories
as God watches the cupboard,
angels preparing breakfast
for universal morning
cherubs poke and squitter
original English of young
glutton | cap of moire,
pecker ivory, gut strings
of a guitar whose wardrobe
projects a lovely tongue
of pears she prepares
her tap shoes for Malaguena
and all the night's fair!

:: 08.07.2022 ::...

Read More

(This is a fictional poem)

Last year I thought about buying a dog.
But I changed my mind and I got a frog.
When it comes to my love life, I'm in a slump.
The girls see me and my frog and I get dumped.

I have warts on my face, my hands and even on my pecker.
When I answer the door, I scare the hell out of the bill collectors.
They all run away because my big warts makes them very ill.
I may be a social outcast but at least I'm getting out of paying my bills....

Read More