Short Keg Poems

When he had her over a barrel
She complained that it was not feral
But once on a keg
She commenced to beg
Too wild would result in his peril!...

Read More

fiery passion
explodes like a powder keg
a deafening bang!


Date written and posted: 08/05/2018...

Read More

Though not in his nature to beg
He would flip for a sip from the keg
Of the rum or the brandy
That dangles so handy
His lips near the tips of the peg...

Read More

Jo King loved frothy tankards of beer
Which she drank every day of the year
Interred in a keg
She swallowed each dreg
So her tombstone reads, "Wish you were here!"...

Read More

Jimmy Jones from Winnipeg
Celebrated his birthday with a keg,
That round container full of beer
Was kept by Jimmy oh so near,
That night he fell and broke his leg....

Read More

There’s a former weight lifter named Greg
Who’d like to show off his abs to Peg
‘Cept he’s now a drunk hack
So his treasured six pack
Now looks more like a Budweiser keg...

Read More

A lady whose horse broke its leg
drank herself drunk from a keg.
	“I can’t live in this world,”
	she pined, “without the old girl,
so, please, shoot us together, I beg.”...

Read More

Ed stirred from his stupor out by the keg
when he felt pressure he couldn't quite peg.
What a shocker that day!
Eddie's best friend was gay,
so he said, "Dude, quit pullin' my leg!"...

Read More

Keeps a foot in all camps
Knows all that goes around
Keg of wisdom he touts 
Keenly lends advice to
Kin and strangers till they
Kick and shut him out. Then
Kaput go his designs 

Written on:03/09/2017...

Read More

A power saw 
can slice through wood with awe
cut kindling or make a table leg
or staves for a wine keg
just make sure you get your digits out of the way in time
or you may be using your fingers only to count to nine....

Read More

Meg has two old battered beer keg legs
that don't look to hold much more than dregs. 
But when Greg comes along 
she begs; "Please, please, belong 
to me.  I still gotta lotta eggs.”  


*Written at Elizabeth Wesley's request....

Read More

A reckless young pirate named Greg
Drank whisky straight out of a keg.
He cried 'Look at me!'
In shark-ridden sea;
That drink cost an arm and a leg!


14.04.19

 Pirate Themed Limerick Poetry Contest: sponsored by Tania Kitchin...

Read More

People have been plagued; 
From me, for Horn Haiku begged; 
Opened one more keg.

Thought my poems they need
In past, people had agreed;
From want to be freed.

Does this sound familiar?

James Thesarious Hilarious Horn
Retired Veteran and Poet...

Read More

There was a silly woman from Detroit
Who at everything was adroit
She couldn't ev'n boil an egg
She just kept them in a keg
And then she threw them like a quoit.




Dorian Petersen Potter
aka ladydp2000
copyright@2014


10.21.2014...

Read More

Stealing fire from the gods
Prometheus would yearn
And pass it off to humankind
whose banishment interred

Their feet into the glowing coals 
but faith out from the dark
Enlightenment a powder keg
—uncareful wishing sparks

(The New Room: September, 2023)...

Read More

* In response to a challenge...


Had a big crush on David Williams;
All his verses read like plums.
But given his marriage of forty years,
I’ll quench my sorrow with a keg of beers.


This one's just for you, David.  All the smart, handsome ones are taken!...

Read More

Point of View and Another Leg

To differ with many have been known to beg;
What we need to do is drink one more keg;
Point of view,
Do need a new;
Even if legally up on me are another leg.

A legal interpretation of this one
would be interesting.

Jim Horn...

Read More

Keg full of monkey j*zz
	Jar packed with grime
Little tank of tiny turtles
	Pot of slug slime.

Shaker full of flea larvae
	Small box of moss
Squeeze-tube of mushy meat
	Flask of dog sauce.

Leeches in a cookie tin
	Ice tray of blow
Now can you play to win
	This cooking show....

Read More

A
College Dorm sleeps
Four per room
Keg party 
Loud
Too much Boom

           A
Drunk freshman sleeps
Where he falls
Coeds toss him on 
The sofa 
Instead of snooze in
the halls

            A 
Sorority girl 
Named him  
“Sofa King Tool”
Now he feels like a Fool
Not Sofa King Cool...

Read More

Queenie Meg went to Winnipeg
                                       And she dropped off on a powder keg
                                                But there near The Forks
                                                  Stood the megadorks
                                          They said," She did it is for a gag"....

Read More

Sad clown
Wears frown. 

Suns rays
Warm days. 

Rum keg
Peg leg. 

Dark night
Stars bright.

Horse wins
Huge grins. 

Head pain
Sore brain.

Train late
Irate. 

Storm drain 
Takes rain. 

Grey fin
Dolphin. 

Rough sea
Stormy. 

Beach walk 
Gulls squawk.




Written 22nd March 2021....

Read More

Amongst the fields of milk and honey
Run tight ends paid much too much money
Throwing pink pig skins
With nary a grin
Nursing booboos which aren’t real funny.

So, get your hot dog, buy that beer
Hear those skulls crack give a cheer
Break a leg
Tap that keg
We're building men here, ain’t that clear?

*Better known as the Nutcracker Sweet ;)...

Read More

Pieces of heat scatter and scorch
Over the orange rusted sky
Wildfire season has arrived
Dense and thick, stern charcoal
Eyes capture and deny
Relief's cool rain, as tongues of flames

Kindles tender clovers red
Eating clean the succulent
Green laced gentle ground.

7/14/21

This or That Volume 4 contest
Sponsor: Edward Ibeh
Title: Powder Keg...

Read More

The crickets chirping,
With the moon fully risen.

I stretch out my legs,
Reach down for my keg.

Curl into my blanket,
As tight as I can make it.

Scent of of freshly cut grass,
This day went pretty fast.

You can hear a drizzle,
The rain starting to fizzle.

Dog by my side,
Standing with all his pride.

Time to go inside,
But it's such a beautiful night......

Read More

Shards of tears 
engrave memories
like a tattered glass
recalling years scarred by desire.

she went mountain climbing 
too high, gasped, got 
wedged like a pinched rose
then hoisted by a fish hook in the jaw.

he did 60 pills in 60 days
still uncured, he grabbed a feather
tickled a powder keg
and exploded.

this marriage was a crown of thorns....

Read More