Short Flatulent Poems

Trump Did Drive

When a goof ball Trump did drive
We would all jump, chuck and jive;
Fat and flatulent,
Where he went;
All His stupidity we had to survive.

Jim Horn...

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by Wayne Wysocki

The man on the flying trapeze,
Who loved eating chili and cheese,
     Could travel much higher
     Than anyone prior
With help from a flatulent breeze....

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A flatulent codger named Frank
Passed wind as he queued in the bank
When he made his deposit
He shuffled like a hobbit 
The stench as he left was so rank

4/19/18...

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Trump and Flatulent Fiddle

Trump had tripped over flatulent fiddle;
Expanded was program and his middle;
Reviewed gift,
And got a lift;
From trial and being @#* received acquittal.

Jim Horn...

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A flatulent poet named Jan
Passed wind and there wasn't a fan
How the other folks gasped
At foul wind that she'd passed 
By jingo, she farts like a man!

********TOTAL FICTION WRITE********  


3/8/18...

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A flatulent dancer named Mel
would discharge a terrible smell
She’d toot through the tango
the waltz and fandango
Her dance partner’s life was sheer hell!


Limerick Contest
Sponsored by Carolyn Devonshire

7/16/18...

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Flatulent Franco from France frequently farts
Fetid foul fetor fumes fill French foyers
Francophile females feign fainting
Fanning flatus from frowning faces!

Alliteration Contest
Sponsored by Barry Stebbings 

11-27-17...

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There once was a flatulent fellow
Who hailed from the state of Ohio
He would try as he might
Keep it in through the night
But got so inflated he'd just blow



AP: Honorable Mention 2020

Submitted on July 17, 2019 for contest STATE LIMERICK sponsored by KEVIN SHAW...

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I'm Olive, a once flatulent cow.
Spinach is all I eat now.
That silly green grass
is a thing of the past,
for a new wind is blowing this hour.
To methane reduction all power!
If you're a cow too,
show assent by a moo.

Comment:
What could be odder
than this switch to new fodder?...

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Seams burst
the flatulent
filled blubber
seeps out
drowns out
the hope I once had
rips itself from the
confines
of a world that
impresses
and dresses
its people in
slim lifeless
shapes
and exposes
scared faces
shocked
at what they shouldn’t see
at what the mirror sees
and shames away from...

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Many and Maybe Much More

As many poems wrote more than others twice,
And if checked lately many more than thrice;
Depends on age,
And my stage;
For poetry passengers my poems will entice.

Jim Horn

Nice knowing 5,000 I surpassed,
Before I had written my very last.
Also surpassed my daily ten again.

Trump and Flatulent Fiddle...

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On a mountain pass
A passing ass
Ate some grass
Causing gas
As bold as brass
The riding lass
Told the flatulent ass
You have no class




This is intended to be monorhyme, where I live all the ending words have hard 'a' as in gas
of course if you are in the south of the UK this won't work at all because of your sissy 
soft 'ah's :)...

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So Uranus smells of hydrogen sulphide 
In the atmosphere on the higher side
With the planet’s unfortunate name
It is the butt of most astronomy jokes to blame
With hydrogen sulphide so flatulent 
It enhances the jokes and is heaven sent
With the gas of the rotten egg smell
We can laugh on forever and chuckle so well.

© Paul Warren Poetry...

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Compelled to tell her story
On her throne with pen in hand
A narrative of such glory
Revered through out the land

A story of a gentle breeze
Paired with a familiar essence
All who read the story agrees
It's been known since adolescence 

Making it rhyme didn't take long
The Queen was filled with it's power
Everyone knew when it turned to song
The Queen was a Flatulent flower!...

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A flatulent lady named Jan
When she farts folk reach for a fan
That rank onion smell
It comes straight from hell
She sure is a windy woman!

I had onion bhaji’s for tea
With my tum they did disagree
I keep breaking wind
When will it rescind….
You don’t want to stand close to me!!!

We went out for an Indian meal last night  …..I’m nothing if not honest lol

12~15~16...

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she could not resist
her favorite re-fried beans ~
severe wind warning


A flatulent lady named Fran
Had farted whilst sat on the can
Her poor husband said phew 
I KNOW you followed through -
Please turn on the expel air fan!

What goes in, must come out … be very mindful  of what foods you consume!

Charlie Hai-Lim-Ku Poetry Contest

Sponsored by Charles Messina

01/25/22...

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Turning into a tree did not happen instantly
It takes a lot of time, space and mystical energy.
The huntsman saw it happen, the mushroom hunter too.
Both had no idea that she was my missing cousin Sue.

Sue had always wanted to be an elm, hickory or oak.
The rest of us knew her heart, this was in no way a joke.
She spent so much time in the forest, she grew some roots.
We no longer have to tolerate her smelly flatulent toots....

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I ate;
I ache;
Now I smell up the air;

passing those flatulent gassy breeze;
Inhaling warm air, burping a bleach;

Constipated, concentrated dreams;
Reality pinching me at the seems;

Evacuated;
Re-leaved myself;
Now I deposited wasted products;

Inhaling warm air, burping a bleach;
Biodegradable stents;

Reality pinching me at the seems;
Constipated, concentrated dreams;

Written words by James Edward Lee Sr. 2018 ©
11/15/18...

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