Short Dark Humor Poems
Short Dark Humor Poems. Below are examples of the most popular short poems about Dark Humor by PoetrySoup poets. Search short poems about Dark Humor by length and keyword.
My hat...
it covers up my head.
It is better that,
then to be dead.
There is a bald patch,
yet I am fine,
with my hat.
Shallow, I am not, Silence the very thought!
I appreciate truly, A woman’s inner beauty
That’s why I dissect them in my basement
do
notb
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l
i
eve
i
n g
h
os t
s
b utt
heyb
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eveinme
A masochist plans his own burial
You'd think our man was malarial
But a fallacy it is
'Tis pain that is his
Ado for such an actuarial
childhood destiny
therapeutic tears shed for
the spilling of milk
John G. Lawless
contest - In a Bottle
sponsor - A Poet Destroyer
another year
down
the
drain
(d
r)
(a
i)
(n
ddrraaiinn
dddrrraaaiiinnn
draindraindraindrain
anotheryeardownthedrain
and so it all came to pass ~ the world stood still when I sh!t on your grass
so barked the neighbours dog ~ but I’d already seen him dragging his ass
I cried and I cried and I cried
My little pet chicken had died
Mom offers a treat
Delicious to eat
Here's some nuggets boneless and fried
why is slaughtering a man ~ viewed a lesser crime than murdering one
and why man decides to put an s in front of laughter ~ just kills me
By
David Kavanagh
I will never give up. I still have time.
I'll boldly go forth, whatever it may take.
The mountain of disaster, I will climb,
until I've made every kind of mistake.
“Et tu, Brute?”
“Who me? "No! Never! Nay!"
’Tis yon Cassius’ gig.
I didn't wanna any part of it, you dig?
Now, please ~
kindly turn your head ~
the other way."
I sense the scorching truth doth lap my toenails ~ or am I being tricked
satan asked his chiropodist ~ who hath nicked him bad but truly licked
By
David Kavanagh
~ Eclipse ~
Light goes away, then comes back
in-between, 'paint it black'
~ Mick Jagger
I certainly don't mean to intrude.
I hadn't expected to catch you nude,
and I don't mean to make a fuss,
but I thought it was only us,
or, perhaps, I misconstrued -
if I might ask, who is this dude?
Unless you pay in bills, unmarked,
your aspirations have been parked.
Our lawyers have reviewed your case,
and determined they don't like your face.
Our agreement, then, we would rescind,
to leave you twisting in the wind.
If I weren’t such a kidder,
you might have to consider
just where I went and hid her
now that I am a widder.
But now you can’t assume;
you’ll call for an exhume
and then you’ll storm and fume.
The widder grin doth bloom.
Should mortification
be justification
for your fortification
Then you need
a long vacation
'Judgment, thou art fled to brutish beasts...'
Marc Antony's 'Funeral Oration' in Shakespeare's "Julius Caesar"
You are what you eat; it is true,
So cannibals are people too!
5/06/22
Killing with an Epigram contest
Sponsor: Margarita Lillico
O, good. Just what I’ve always wanted to elect
a Senatorial candidate with a Nazi tattoo on his chest
What do you mean he’s dropping out of the race
~ depriving me of voting for one of America’s best
In Florida donuts all ‘round —
the whirlpool of kids as “bigs” frowned.
The force of the push
did wimple their tush
and throw them all off and they drowned.
6/10/2020
Contest: SUMMER LAZINESS
Sponsor: Mohan chutani
A CLOSE SHAVE
Shel married a wife with armloads of fur.
He was very unkind, he did beat her.
Smothers - never quits.
Makes her shave her pits.
Smirking, she sharpens her blade on the cur.
4/26/2017
Jan’s Limerick contest - back by popular demand
dear john
a few words she wrote
we’re through i found a real man
i’m getting married
dear jane
he too spelt it plain
i have ravaged your mother
her scar was it you
By
David Kavanagh.
He made her life a living hell.
Her heart immune to the death knell
She breaks down and cries
Tears spring from her eyes
Her acting days now serve her well.
-----------------------------------------
Contest: Open Poetry
Sponsor: Charlotte Puddifoot
11th July, 2015
Placed 7th
I vaguely heard it
Almost a whisper
“TOD – twelve twenty nine”
“but wait” I shouted
“I’m still here”
“DON’T…..pull that sheet up!”
“Stop whispering”
“I can still hear you”.
“You guys are gonna be in so much trouble
When I tell Mom”.
“I’m never playin’ Doctor with you guys again.
John G Lawless
7/12/2023
THE SHINING SNOW MELTS
A shining maze, around each bend ‘redrum’.
Mine eyes can’t see the door of beating drum.
Axe doth break our hearts,
and “Here’s Johnny” smarts.
We close horror’s hotel, scream - and run from.
6/1/2017
Limerick Contest
*Stephen King’s The Shining
? A mirror image of redrum spells...