Short Blimey Poems

Fair to ing middlin!
Tuesday night shepherds pie?
2nd best. 
Hornet's nest.
Honest apple? 
In your eye....

Read More

Donald Trump - bankrupt with no sense -
Now blames everything on Pence
Trump looted our vault
But its not his fault
That everyone else is so dense!...

Read More

Beauteous words
Bandbox words
Bristly words
Brazen words
Buffoon-like words
Busy words
Brainy words
Blarney words
Blimey words
Bewildered words
Be aware....

Read More

Sunshine all day, has the world gone mad
Blimey it's Canada, where summer's a fad
Four months long
Seems like two then gone
Aside from that, the best since I was a lad...

Read More

There once was a parachutist called Norm
Who parachuted into an alligator farm
      He said with a hell of a shout
     "Blimey! it's time to bail out"
Before I'm the calm before their storm...

Read More

I have to go pee you see and my bladder is oh so tiny 
so won't you please hurry, no don't show your hiney
one leg up 
on leg down 
go ahead leak, then get out of my way, ... Oh Blimey!...

Read More

Where you stay at?
vs
Where do you live?

tyu2
vs
Thank you, I wish you the same
vs
thanx and backatcha

Blimey vs omg
For heaven's sakes vs yo' mama
Mindless robotrons vs blithering wonder....

heh, is best not to cross boundaries.

Blest

is versatile communication....

Read More

In the post I received some seeds
Now planted, I've done the deed
In a few weeks they did grow
Blimey they ain't very slow
They're now as tall as some reeds

They now have me a little concerned
Impressed in bloom they've now earned
But what's that sweet smell
It sure ain't no Bluebell 
All previous is totally adjourned...

Read More

I'd just done some washing
I'd hung it on the line
The sun it shone delightfully
I thought "this weather will stay fine"

Then I heard the weather forecast
Gee blimey it said rain
So to myself I did say
Must bring it in again

The sky turned dark and cloudy
As the wind began to howl
I was glad I brought that washing in
As it turned into a gale...

Read More

Hot date
Can’t wait

We're at
My flat

Cute eyes
Nice thighs

Admit
She’s fit

So sweet
Must eat

We dine
Sublime

First Kiss
Sheer bliss

Soft peck
On neck

Tongue's twirl
Toes curl

First base
Hearts race

Undressed
Bare breast

Blimey
She’s ‘HE’

No joy
Ladyboy

Fussy
Pussy

Night ends
As friends

Written by Jan Allison & Tim Smith
28th August 2014...

Read More

I'm learning to swear and to curse
And to make my poems sound worse and worse
But when I shouted, oh f**k
It was just my bad luck...
I was standing right next to a hearse.

So then I thought, oh what the hell,
My mind's as unsound as a bell
I cried . what a b*gger
And scared off a mugger.
So here I am with no cr*p in a dell.

Is there a future for the pure on the earth
For those who don't swear and don't curse?
Cor blimey,you're quaint
Is you a saint?
I almost feel a faint tinge of mirth...

Read More