Short Bartender Poems

Bottle of Irish
Abandoned by bartender
Emptied so he thought...

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Oh good, happy hour
The bartender cashes my
 Unemployment check...

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thirsty ~ 
bartender not once
looking my way



posted on September 21, 2019...

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Lightning in a bottle
  Moonbeams in a sifter

Star dust in a sugar shaker ~
  Bartender ever swifter...

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my brother
my mother
my bartender
my psychiatrist
my babysitter
my best friend

my instrument
my music......

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Billy Joe was a caring bartender
who tried to be a broken-heart mender.
But stories of woe
put him in a hole.
Now he's gone on a two-week bender....

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The bartender threw a drink
At the guy who stole her chain-link
So he ran to the door
Because he didn't want more
Then turned and gave her a quick wink...

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A drunken bartender named Joe

Sports LEGERDEMAIN as his show

His corks popped and were hurled

As he curled and then twirled 

Shock drenched in the HIPPOCRAS flow...

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Sink in me 
Get drunk with me 
Until am all you see 
As you relax in the gutter 
Of my arms where you sleep 
And am still your bartender 
Still giving you love so tender...

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Red neon which looks lovely at four o’clock in the afternoon
Somehow seemed dingy at twelve-thirty; he was the last customer
bartender gave him a nod, and a sympathetic look...

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At the end of a long hard day,
I like to enjoy a refreshing cold one -
a nice frosty......popsicle!


For "Twenty / Twenty" contest sponsored by David Williams.

By: George Aul...

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Charles Dickens walked into a bar quite pissed
Seems in his latest reviews he was dissed
  To eat, 'Side of Linguini'
  To drink, 'Double Martini'
Bartender had to ask, 'Olive or Twist'...

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I quit law school and became a bartender,
then I took and passed the bar examination.
I had to prove that I had quit not because I couldn't be a lawyer,
I quit because I enjoyed bartending....

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Bunny Brewster worked at Bab’s Balmy Brewsky
A sage bartender, who understood pouring whiskey
He sometimes tossed out bunnies who got to0 frisky
For that was not allowed at Bab’s Balmy Brewsky...

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Buys  another drink;
Always drinks his whisky neat.
Loosens up his tongue, 
Tells the barman, ‘Hey buddy,
‘I’m the ‘girl’ you kissed last night.’


For Natalie's Confessions to a Bartender contest...

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love walks into a bar
sees hope drinkin' it away;
what's wrong, love asks
nothing's wrong, hope replies, 
nothing is wrong...

love turns to fate the bartender
and orders two shots of everything....

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I swam through a ocean of illusion
Dying of thirst
Going through the motions of confusion
Fearing the worst
I came upon her canteen
Seeking a cup of real
If for nothing else
A sip for my last meal...

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Night Crawlers

As the bartender shouted last call
they clung to the bar lest they fall
then said “let’s continue”
“what’s next on the venue”
let go and completed the crawl.


John G. Lawless
10/12/2016...

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Another Round Bartender 


Today I went out for a cruise
By accident came cross some booze
Said hay sir partner
Fell off the counter
Yelled bring me ten more and snoozed


Written: Jan. 11, 2016
Theresa...

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Humdinger Spice


Yesterday my friend fell on the ice
Yelled quickly bring me a vodka splice
Then called I said
She hit her head
Bartender bring a humdinger spice.



Written: 2014 in the Autumn
Theresa Marie...

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Cletus Schlunk went on a weekend bender.

   He kept saying, "Jesh one more, bartender!"

      He stumbled out of the bar,

         Speeding away in his car,

            Ending up in a major rear-ender!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired...

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I once referred to a woman as a "barmaid"
She snapped back, "I'm a bartender. I'm nobody's maid!"
and then she said to me without missing a beat as she placed my drink on the bar,
"My friend is getting married and I'm going to be the bride's maid of honor."

Women?...

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Chang Chung Chungling smacks the bartender,
                                  Merrily in a midnight bender;
                                    But in the drinking spree
                                       In a certain degree
                               He ends up being a big spender....

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with deep regret
i've confessed that i'm in love with someone
someone who frequents the establishment quite often
with each statement of love
and description of how i could love him
i've sunk myself deeper into despair
while admitting it's the bartender i love





confession to a bartender...

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Cowboy Jay entered the saloon today
Found a fine gal named Fanny May
Said wife did not get him
So he came in on a whim
Fanny said let’s go upstairs and play.

Jay’s wife came in at a quarter ‘til three.
Bartender said get! She shot up his knee.
Fanny hid under the bed
Cowboy Jay is now dead
Sheriff said “Let’s let that little gal be.”...

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