Afraid
Afraid of the cameras
Of the mirrors
And the voice in my head
Fat
Ugly
Not able to fit in
The mould
Into the slim fit clothes
Loud
Annoying
Confidence - a mask I wear
Over the self doubt and insecurities
Unlovable
Unworthy
Of your love
Which is a lie out of your mouth
I feel like you’re looking for a way out
Out of my life
Embarrassing
Unwanted
Unwanted in conversation
Because of how I ruin it
Self centred
Selfish
A protection against the truth
Present a strong front
And they can’t get behind your walls
Into your doubt
Childish
Immature
Jokes that aren’t funny
Can’t be trusted
Just a bit too much
If only I felt worthy
Worthy of love
Of friends
Worthy enough to be myself
To feel confident
If only I could quiet
The voice in my head
As though it was born free only to eat,
The soft caterpillar keeps on its work--
Just to turn and finish the leaves neat;
And on it goes unchanging,all in the lurk
Till begins the self centred walling in plot;
A soft, round globule comes up wrought
Only to be boiled and disrupted to fraught
The potter wasp has flights great many,
To the clay and water pits far and near
As is chosen the safe nook or slot puny
With all vigour, labour and concern dear,
The little bit sticks to the select spot fast,
That the set purpose resolves till the last,
And greed does not breed a monster ghast
A shattered image of myself in pieces at my feet,
my vanity strewn all around left mirrored in my mind.
My outer shell self centred too, lived in real pretence
created pictures of me gone, all broken left in shards.
Cast down in anger in defeat, how will I find myself
by looking at one tiny piece, the real me see in there.
Could it be this tiny mirror shows my real reflection?
If I gaze without pretension take off my mask of fear.
Strip off my painted makeup, fresh face I am not lost
begin again my truest self, the mirror of my soul.
Progress of human civilization
was so long based on realisation
of ' Plain Living and High Thinking': An old
concept turning to ' Race For Hollow Gold."
Now the aim :' High Living and Plain Thinking '!
This challenge ripples, rushes zest and zing !
A pursuit of shallow or meaningless
superficial success to access !
Self-interest will reach to any length,
whether societal status or wealth :
Bewildered, disoriented, frantic.
No feelings for others : Just eccentric.
Selfish self-centred approach : Illusion.
‘My life is mine’ is the prime dicesion .
By hook or crook to follow own life style :
‘ Race For Hollow Gold’ is creating profile.
Best blessing of God is longevity
But life must be full of good activities
It's desirable to stay healthy, strong
Otherwise it's useless to live long.
Choose your path of life doing righteous
Necessarily not to be religious.
Keep yourself physically fit and fine.
It's mandatory for life if to shine.
Try to lift up your next generation.
Not to be self - centred, worth to mention.
If blessed by long life, make it perfect :
Great contribution, future may expect.
Contrary to our nature
Self centred wavers it.
If so induced to save, support
Tis by a good spirit.
As when my own bashfulness
Girl, brave voiced stood up to.
If so enticed by your angel?
That lost-looking child, you!
“ Everything is fair
in Love and War.”
Why It is said so ?
Root cause is Ego.
‘Ego’ is itself selfish : No doubt.
Self -Centred : Absolute .
Most condemned word is “WAR “ !
No explanation is needed : Most clear !
Mainly to overpower other
Races, Nations, those are
weaker !
Whatever :
Only Common people are sufferers.
Tormentors are Invaders !
Mostly political Leaders.
No wonder !
Entire blame goes to administration -
obstructing progress of civilisation.
Humans mainly fight
violating human rights !
War entwined with selfish ego
somehow to forego ~
Selfish Ego to demolish ….
Peace and love to cherish !
To attain perfect civilised world
From dictionary, remove the word
‘WAR’
forever.
I have a cat
(or a cat has me),
a furry cat, a very purry cat
when on my lap it's sat,
independent it is
(egotistical too),
yet demands attention
(self-centred through and through),
and when well-fed, its purr
(a four-stroke motor),
is full of condescension,
when behind its ears you scratch
(it's expected of you),
you may believe you heard,
“Meow, meow, meow,”
(sorry, here's the catch),
what it really said is,
“Me now, me now, ME now!”
And, as goldfish swims in bowl,
cat looks on with danger fraught,
thinking, 'So near yet so far,
that fish is food for thought.'
Im hairline
lost in the scent of you
delirious shared moments
yet under your eiderdown
lies a self centred heart
eagerly searching the next victim
I don't want to feel your pain
Id rather be a stream
that flats past your jaded chase
yet somehow prolonging my fear
you ve changed
When doubts rage, who to hail for help,
Lug own luggage, hail not for help.
Man has lost sage who might well help,
Saved savage, hail not now for help.
Self centred, man has if lost out
In this age, hard to hail for help.
Created a sorry image,
Own damage, now hail not for help.
Hedging, aloof on alien’s edge,
His own cage, who to hail for help?
If hopeless has turned his marriage,
A mirage, who to hail for help?
When life’s play is turning a page
Right on stage, who to hail for help?
_________________________________________
Ghazal |05.05.2024| life
Those who come near him suffer,
due to his callous approach,
both fickle and self-centred,
radiating gloom.
Mistakenly believing we’re body-mind,
we begin to trauma bond with our ego,
with fears and desires, gripping us in their bind,
transient objects we seek, we’re loathe to let go,
so as we become self-centred and unkind,
distanced from pulse of love and light, we sink low.
After death life review, shows us our soul’s stain,
so to repay debts of love, we’re born-again.
I am looking for a heart
the kind that are hard to find
lost in the abyss of this
technological world.
I am looking for a heart
that are not metallic and mechanical
turned virtual robotic self-centred
in this facebook
and mobile phone addicted world.
I am looking for a heart
humane, made of love and blood
survived on human touch
and without needing
unneeded information so much,
just to be heartlessly smart.
I am looking for a heart
those simple and pure ones
that lived in the yester years
before we became slaves of this
artificial intelligence world.
(July 23, 2023)
I met you all of a sudden,
At a time when I had no one.
No one who could feel the inner me,
No one who could comprehend the outer me.
It was your ribbon that grabbed my attention,
Your innocent eyes spoke more that anything you could mention,
The cutest sweet smile that you always wore,
Is that one thing about you that I will always adore.
We shared the same bench,
The same way back from school,
Sometimes indulged in endless talks,
Not willing to take steps back for home walks.
A night lover met a day dreamer,
A Karate blue belt met a dancer,
An introvert met an ambivert,
But at the end you met an exceptionally crazy creature.
I was at times wrong with you,
And at an instance you needed me too.
I even grew self-centred perhaps,
But you were there for me always.
The best and most loyal friend,
Was the one I was searching for,
And since I am blessed with you here,
I'll cherish you in my life forever.
Ongoing Generation
Human nature changing, hardening fast,
loosing emotions, always in hurry.
Affluence hits society in gust.
Future demands more and more luxury.
New generations challenged by ego,
rushing, running, leaving close attachments.
‘My life is mine’ ! All others to forego.
Self-centred aim, surpassing sentiments.
Civilisation in rapid progress.
on materialistic perspective.
Science and technology to impress.
Dealings dominate, feelings inactive.
‘High-living’ on ‘Plain -thinking’ in future.
Emotional bonding not to nurture.
05/18/23
Sonnet
First Place
Contest by Soto Poet
Sub Categories
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