A conflagration rages within my being,
Looming over the tableau of woe at my feet.
Silken threads and ribbons tether their flight,
they opt for a divergent retreat from reality.
In a moment of frailty,
Taut sounds sway their desolation,
Erupt my apex,
at least their visage will be frozen,
Statues of their inner torment.
My molten core whirls,
Glistening like quicksilver as my fury solidifies.
The mountain sentinel,
Surveying the forest of self annihilation.
Refrain from visiting or it may cost your life.
Mary was a bright girl I knew,
She yearned for love from her dad,
She could not get it as her parents were divorced,
She felt lonely, and depressed.
She had hundreds of friends on social media and Facebook,
They would wish her good morning and share musical thoughts,
But when the app was closed, all of them disappeared,
Lack of real friends drove her almost to the point of self-annihilation.
Then she met a boy, he took her in his wings,
He gave her confidence and believe in herself,
With the self-esteem rising like phoenix,
Mary was happy and cheerful which I wanted to see.
Self-esteem is made up primarily of two things,
Feeling lovable and feeling capable,
Feeling lovable extinguishes fear and anxiety,
Feeling capable fills one with confidence and believe in itself.
Father, where are you?
Please give ear to my plea.
Those I started the race with have gone far,
And I am left far behind.
For my legs have grown feeble,
Too feeble to carry my weight,
That I fall with each stride.
Going forward is a great ordeal,
Going backward a stigma of cowardice.
Did I desecrate your consecrated ground?
Did I cause the treachery of man?
Or are my teeth set on edge
Because of unripe fruit eaten by others?
My heart is always bleeding
From pangs of sorrow and pain.
My eyelids are heavy
From an ocean of tears.
Each night, ghosts torment me
In the day, phantoms ridicule me.
When the wind blows,
Needles caress my skin.
When the birds sing,
It is dirges I hear.
I wanted to find succor
By taking the course of Judas
When he realized his greed for silver
Had caused the shedding of sinless blood
But I abhor the ignominy of self annihilation.
Please, the Benevolent One,
Deliver me from this abyss of despair
For in my own mortal imagination
I have done no wrong.
But if You say I am not guiltless,
Forgive and lift me up.
Just a mercenary
Unethical with greed
Imitating plastic
Modern kind of breed
Logic left disjointed
Blinded by corrupt
Sheer selfishness of others
Merely made messed up!
The missing link on the brink
Of self-annihilation
Digested poor examples
And miscommunication.
Though I have compassion
For the gullible and plain
The self serving ignorance
Is idiotically insane.
We see them on the media
We see them in real life
Dramatising, advertising
Mutant means of rife…
(...poem in progress... to bring in wisdom)
I've traveled alone through this web we call life, one ending leading to a new beginning
Living a lie of convenience only to be rejected with minimum clarification
Was I so intoxicated by the rivers of venom I passed up the lure of self-preservation,
leaving behind the mysteries of innocence only to embrace a facade
Loyalty for captivity, yearning for salvation, harboring rebellious thoughts
My blood runs cold, my emotions exhausted, my body defeated
Levitating between self-annihilation and redemption
This is what I am enjoined to be:
Hyphenated !
Bound to vacillate between self-aggrandizement and self-annihilation
I straddle two unrecognizable worlds
only to find solace in none
I am the begetter of my malaise
all made of ungraspable memories and deferred living
Unable to liberate presence from the grips of absence
I dwell on both edges of supposed being
that meanwhile refuse to be reconciled
?for fear that I dare reconstruct my long lost identity
There I stand
a hyphenated land
gazing at imposed images
donning the masks of free choice and self-agency
Those who are in an attempt of self-annihilation
They have found the original perpetual presence
Those who have embraced himself in his own secrets
They have got his seat with the existence of supreme spirit
Those who have been the lover of the deepest love of God
They are living dead with eternity in the primordial existence
-Chattogram
Angels observe in un-articulated anguish from above,
anxiety afflicted by appalling accelerated ambition of the aggregate
that redefines the archaic, apocalyptical allure
driving humanity to its brink of active self annihilation;
those moments of antiquated adversarial abstractions
when history goes awry in its accursedness
revels the atrocious alienation of poverty ignored,
that hidden appetency wherein
the very acquiescence of its anticipated allure,
blinds us in our astigmatism that can anesthetize living well;
the assuage ascendancy of life's pain and amplified existence
briefly lingers, dies
as we absolve ourselves with abstinence
surpassing the more auspicious moments lost
when we could have been assertively aggrandized,
to become
more augmented humanity.
for John Hamilton's Crazy A's contest
10/30/19
1. Anguish 2. Awry 3. Auspicious 4. Atrocious 5. Assuage 6. Appetency
7. Allure 8. Absolve
outwardly
Dumb! Deaf! Blind!
Let me be
But, o' no;
let not the inside of me!
Eyes, Ears, Mouth
all have goodly;
but;
for the self-emancipation,
for the self-annihilation in true knowing
let's, see the inner proactive world,
let's, listen carefully to the inner heartbeat,
let's, speak with the inner self
and let's, be the silent journey maker to the inner inn
-May 09, 2019 Chattogram
You walked a garden path, young heart holding intimate hand
You nurtured hopes of permanence in an impermanent world
Of you loved and belonged, and of you owning and retaining.
Times changed but you didn’t know how
Storms surged but you didn’t know why
Blew the mind, a discarded dry leaf, away.
The garden ravaged and the flowers trodden
You walk now a lonely walk in the garden turned wasteland
The crushed thoughts rising from debris face the void mind
The garden perished but you don’t know why
The life is worthy but you don’t know of what.
The blankness drags collapsed dreams down
To the dark depth of drained life
To the brink of self-annihilation.
To your splintered mind at the edge of hope
I tell search within and discover the inner light
That would show you the existence of purpose
God gave you in this life so beautiful.
No cause is greater no reason better
To leave than to live.
September 6, 2017
Contest : Suicide Prevention Month
Judged on : September 19, 2017.
Sin swept ...
another soul carried away
on the winds of self-destruction
Wrong way living,
unwise decisions made with a gilded heart
Sin loves to appear
as something other than what it truly is,
giving you a mask of illusion
so you can’t see what you really are
Choking all the charity
that was naturally formed inside of you
in the deep caverns of your life
Purging you of the ability to choose to do right
Now you’re a human robot
programmed to only do evil,
and the winds of self-annihilation begins to blow ...
chipping away at your soul
As you become less than human
more and more each day,
the devil laughs at you
All the while making you do the puppet dance
to the sinister music his pipes of hell ominously play
It’s the end of Act Three,
and the curtain is falling
You bow to the ground, to the dust ...
ready to be eaten by those vile worms of greed and lust
After the empty words of a sad eulogy have been read,
and your body cast into the dark abyss ...
Another sinner is purged from the earth,
whose evil deeds shall not be missed
SALVATION
Salvation is too far away
I need it now not some other day
My soul needs releasing
From a body tired and weary
I am already in my own living hell
Death will offer no more tragedies
Only an unwanted eternity of misery
My beliefs
My wants
My needs
Have created the quagmire of despair
I am trapped in
Pessimism rules the day
I need to be set free
Life is a meddlesome bore
Never ending
Tortuously continuing
Almost damning
A great travesty
Is this ungrateful living
Who will unlatch me
From the roots that stubbornly
Keep me rooted here in the present
Lingering on?
A destructive trend
Of self-annihilation has set in
Almost
It is so controlling
This stubborn irresponsible breathing
I am entombed in my own hell
Not ready to go
Not wanting to stay
I want
And need
To be set free
For ethnicity
draped in gasoline
you burn the sky.
Who was fighting a
jungle abandoning
every thought ?
Step aside,
mirror, Oh mirror,
I am going up in heap of flames.
This self-annihilation.
Will it take you to
promised heaven of deaf gods ?
The dust, the heat, the soot.
They are going to blacken your
entrals. How will you come out in moon ?
Satish Verma
Wine punched with tears...
& agony of some years...
Makes a deadly combination...
Simply enough for self-annihilation...!
Moist memories...maddening moments...
A multitude of heart-breaking sentiments...
Rare is such painful intoxication...
That resembles a silent assassination...!
When tides erupt in the seas within...
It hardly matters if U lose or win...
U hardly care if your eyes rain...
If U are an addict to pain....!
Wine punched with tears...
& the agony of some years...
Add wings to the dormant senses...
That gushes out from self-imposed fences....!
Suffocating
Paranoia of
Incinerated
Tranquility
Insanity
Is the new infection
An epidemic
Of self annihilation
To cleanse
Our souls in our own bloodshed
A syndrome
Of the weakening human head
Out with the civilized silence
In with the barbaric violence
We’ve lost all guidance
So let's carry our torches and tridents
And kill…
…The Earth is lathered in a murderous flame
Scorch black
The crimson rivers drain; we’ve anesthetized the mind-melting pain
Let the bodies stack.
That’s it
We die in a sea of S.P.I.T.
Suffocating
Paranoia of
Incinerated
Tranquility
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