Me ol mucker Rodney is getting some pukka succour...tipple & tucker in Vienna.."prost" mate
Austrian foodie fold can’t break the mould caught in a fraught brasher sort of sport
Fought as thought who bought flasher Sacher torte that gets gold does hold court
Overwrought at seriously stodgy onslaught podgy tort sausages deliriously cavort
Or wish to toast an old dish flattered mattered most plattered crumbed & battered
Viennese tease keener gnashers sold on a leaner schnitzel wiener winning wheeze
Grinning will be a breeze hazy days on skis back slaps lazy naps and dodgy knees
Pleas beer on taps dread steer clear fear sinning head spinning schnapps traps.. please
I first heard about Teacup Spigot Alley from my cousin Sally.
She had been there many times to sip tea and dilly dally.
Two pink macaws were slurping down sugar lemon tea.
One gave me a peck, the other completely ignored me.
Are those faeries? I asked my cousin Sally, who knows all.
She laughed at my ignorance, but her tale was told tall.
Wingless faeries? She said Who ever heard of such a thing?
We slurped down peach schnapps tea, it had a wonderful zing!
Subjects can their Bad Kings banish:
Their Lords that image tarnish
By being decisive and mannish
While proving them a clannish
After bribing schnapps of the Danish
And deceiving wine the Spanish!
Subjects must the details furnish
Of the wrongs by Monarchs to banish
And if they wish some garnish
Or the entire narrative varnish!
Subjects should Terrible Kings punish
Their faults ceases to burnish
Their eulogy for The–Without–Blemish.
Whiskey and orange juice,
Peach schnapps and cola,
Buckfast and sprite,
Desperate times called for
Horrifying measures.
Thank god I was not a bartender
For I would have been
Thrown out of the establishment,
However in the confines of my home
Room and bed,
I could sip my monstrosities quietly.
A pain so deep that
It made the drinks taste like
Pleasure,
Anything to keep the thoughts away.
So many candles burned,
Too many colourful lights bought,
Far too many songs listened to on repeat,
Too much liquor consumed,
Just to keep you away from my mind.
Never works, does it?
Even with all of that effort
You were always there with me,
My loneliness keeping me company,
Imagining you by the window,
At the side of my bed,
In my arms.
The version of you that I created
Mocking me for missing you,
Made it sting even more,
As to escape from this,
One must forget.
And I am so very bad at forgetting.
Santa won’t be back next Christmas Eve,
he decided to retire and take his leave.
With all the online shopping in the world today,
he set his reindeer free and burned his sleigh.
He’ll probably shave his beard and move down south.
He won’t miss naughty kids or their potty mouth.
The North Pole is for sale, there are no more toys.
I’m sure he’ll hear complaints from all the girls and boys.
I heard he found a beach down in Mexico.
Exactly where he went, nobody will know.
I’m sure he ditched his hat and those big black boots.
They won’t know who he is without those little red suits.
If you’re ever on the beach and see a big red thong,
or a man named Kris who traded schnapps for a bong.
It could be old Santa just out having some fun,
spooning Mrs. Claus in the noonday sun.
the elves built a new workshop and yes there’s a but
they didn’t use one-call and their phone lines got cut
isolated up north poor Santa missed some calls
he lost the warranty on his sleigh and an order of soccer balls
he missed the call about Rona and the mandate for a mask
Santa had no P.P.E. just some schnapps in a flask
there was a global pandemic much to his surprise
he was stopped on a rooftop and could only see eyes
he was greeted by a cop in a hazmat suit
Santa was drunk without a mask and had to reroute
they took Rudolph to the Zoo and impounded his sleigh
now Santa is under quarantine for the next fourteen days
Cointreau broke Gluino
Thanatos shall be reconciled
White wine jumped Saxion
Hymenaios was cold
Campari hunted Higgs
Thetis shall be cut down
Anisette haunted Neutrino
Pan was enjoyed
Amaretto hated Boson
Astraea shall be calm
Cinnamon Schnapps camped Plekton
Apollo was seduced
Port peeled Proton
Uranus is comfortable
Brandy learned Plasmons
Oceanids shall be impetuous
Not to Show Off One's Learning
(?? ???? ???? ???????)
Instead Self Effacing, B'Tz'nyus,
Otherwise, Imbibe Drink of Ego,
Schnapps in Shrinking Hollowness,
Rather Honor Your Fellow,
Not Me! Nor Mine! but Togetherness,
Elevate Your Jewish 'Bro,
B'Nai Yisroel Cholent Finesse!
Refrain from Preemie Torah,
Too Much, Too Early, Infatuation,
Better Nurture & Ripen in Aura,
Even Rav Chaim of Volozhin,
Was Refused by the Gra,
For Yetzer HaRah was in Suspicion,
'Til a Year of Reflection in Awe,
Passed, Then Yes! from the Vilna Goan!
Give five slave for a bottle of schnapps,
Thirty slaves for a glass and worn cap:
Ears of the lame Badagry forefathers.
19:01:03:18:15
Josh Berry. Ancestral Pen. Ancestral form. Point of no return.
To love is a pain that the living must bear!
And I selfishly cling to the thought that you might
Find a spot in your heart where gain purchased holds fast,
(Though lost love is implicit in everyone's past.)
If two hearts playing dice have a ghost of a chance,
It requires both have training and know how to dance,
It takes more than intention to keep love in sight,
And it's fit that love's more than the right clothes to wear!
Love felt is a joy that a heart will die for,
Warms the gut just like schnapps in the bitterest cold
Though love can be illusion, the depth of it speaks
To the height of man's fancy, a second lasts weeks.
Colors vivify soul like the presence of God,
But when locked in such rapture, it's fore-life that's odd!
An apartment's a palace; your part won't grow old.
For love humbles the rich and brings Grace to the poor!
Long Tooth
May 28, 2018
synopsis of schnapps
quick throwback action —
schnappen from shotglass
5/2/2018
the peppermint schnapps
slides down slowly with fervor
coating the cantankerous tongue
— the blessing of the throat
Where, oh where, oh where to start
Rum, Whiskey, Schnapps, Brandy
Can they mend a broken heart?
Mixed drinks? Nah, they taste like candy.
Rum, Whiskey, Schnapps, Brandy
Which ones efficacy is longer?
Mixed drinks? Nah, they taste like candy.
No, I need something stronger.
Which ones efficacy is longer?
One, two, three, NO, four
No, I need something stronger.
Closing time? Just drag me out the door.
One, two, three, NO, four
Can they mend a broken heart?
Closing time? Just drag me out the door.
Where, oh where, oh where to start
Author's Notes:
I am not condoning the abuse of alcohol. I have not drank more than 1/2 of a wine cooler at any given day in approximately 10 years. I believe discussions and decisions are a better way to cope. This is just what my heart had to say last night.
Through gossamer skies so low
And over the blue glass sea below
Peppermint stops
Ginger schnapps
Eight Reindeer hops
His jelly belly skips
over belted hips
Dashing through the snow and sleet
All night he rides
Weary, dreary
Down the chimney he slides
No sleigh ride's complete
Without milk and cookies to eat
He could fight and win battles, could this General Ulysses Grant!
Other of Lincoln's generals were continually sayin', "I can't!"
Though 'twas well-known that General Grant relished his schnapps,
Even soused he could concoct solid battle plans by studyin' his maps.
Becomin' frustrated with his other generals and their lack of action,
Abe suggested to an aide that if it would help them get some traction,
He'd like to know what Ulysses drank and where he got the stuff,
So he could send a barrel to every general to get him off his duff!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) All Rights Reserved
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