Retirement In the North Pole
Santa won’t be back next Christmas Eve,
he decided to retire and take his leave.
With all the online shopping in the world today,
he set his reindeer free and burned his sleigh.
He’ll probably shave his beard and move down south.
He won’t miss naughty kids or their potty mouth.
The North Pole is for sale, there are no more toys.
I’m sure he’ll hear complaints from all the girls and boys.
I heard he found a beach down in Mexico.
Exactly where he went, nobody will know.
I’m sure he ditched his hat and those big black boots.
They won’t know who he is without those little red suits.
If you’re ever on the beach and see a big red thong,
or a man named Kris who traded schnapps for a bong.
It could be old Santa just out having some fun,
spooning Mrs. Claus in the noonday sun.
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