GET’ER DONE
I don’t like a bragging bigot,
Tall in stature, but in class, a midget
A man of faith, a fool to some
But at least a man who’ll get’er done.
I don’t like a man, who’s mouth is runny,
You’ll be outraged or think it’s funny.
A brilliant boss, a beast to some,
At least a man who’ll get’er done.
Don’t like a bull in a China shop,
Cut to the chase, fail or flop.
Not a fan of most everyone,
But at least a Hulk who’ll get’er done.
Would we rather one tailor fit,
political liar, bumbling twit...
A wrecking ball that ain’t bout Schmidt?
Excuse my colorful candid wit.
Give me a proven man
whose paid the cost,
have built an empire being the boss,
Went far out into the deep,
to save his country rocked to sleep
Some’ll beg to differ, but here’s the sum.
We needed a patriot who would get’er done!
Karl Schmidt-Rottcuff
could never paint enough
In style so instinctive
his name continues to live
Daquayvious Sorey
Incredible story!
He went for the Tigers
Instead of the Tide.
But what more amazing
Than the yards he’ll be blazing:
His birth cert had room
For his name to reside!
There was a guy who lived by a cool beach
One day he found a bottle in his reach
He grabbed it, then rubbed it
Genie popped out named Schmidt
Not who imagined, he looked more like Screech
* Screech was a character from the show” Saved By The Bell”
He was a commoner desiring to be a soldier
After disappointing initial failure Steve Rogers
Got selected for super soldier experiment in US military
Serum injection and Vita-ray dosing made him muscular.
He toured the country in colorful costumes
During WW II time in fund raising campaign
For his patriotic endeavor during the national exigency
He was very proud to be designated as Captain America.
He proved his worth with fabulous bravery
When he could free all the war prisoners
Infiltrating alone the fortified fortress of the Hydra base
Of the Nazi General Schmidt, named as crafty Red Skull.
To stop him using weapons of mass destruction
Rogers confronted Schmidt inside his aircraft
That finally crashed in the icy waters of the Arctic sea
Schmidt vanished in space, Rogers remained untraced.
The Captain woke up in an old style hospital bed
After seventy years from suspended animation
A feat that befitted the extraordinary role of a superhero
Who assimilated the singular elements of the first avenger.
___________________
May 27, 2022
Contest : Captain America
Sponsored by : Robert James Liguori
The child was telling the wildest story imaginable.
I was in a special education class, and he was in second grade.
The story included bombs and fires and explosions.
He was totally animated as he told it.
The rest of the class was enthralled, transfixed.
He said “Everybody died!”
I said “What about Tommy?”
Tommy is his best friend.
“Except Tommy.”
“What about Susie?”
“Except Susie.”
“What about me, did I die?”
“No, we saved you,” he told me.
His teacher had come back into the classroom.
“What about Mrs. Schmidt?”
He looked at me sternly and said “We can’t save EVERYBODY, Mrs. Kay!"
Mrs. Schmidt knew that he loved her.
I knew that he loved her.
Our eyes met and we started laughing.
We reminded each other of that moment often.
Every single time, we had a little laugh.
Here I lie in Ramona,
sick with the virus Corona.
I feel like hell
and cannot smell,
but glad I don't have pneumonia.
In five days' time, I finally felt fine:
Free from the virus Corona.
Then again it hit,
now I'm sick as Schmidt,
as I lie in bed in Ramona.
Mo-ji-bai Wom-ba-su-mi Smith,
Please, Lord, be true!
Whenever you reach out,
My heart just wants to shout!
For my
Mojibai Wombasumi Smith!
Da da da da da da da
Mojibai Wombasumi Smith,
Her eyes, so blue!
I’m nearly going to swoon,
She wants to meet me soon!
Oh my
Mojibai Wombasumi Smith!
Da da da da da da da
Mojibai Wombasumi Smith,
She needs my help!
She wants my bank account,
An undisclosed amount!
For my
Mojibai Wombasumi Smith!
Da da da da da da da
Mojibai Wombasumi Smith,
I am confused!
Turns out she was a fake,
My heart is going to break!
For my
Mojibai Wombasumi Smith!
Da da da da da da da
----------
Obviously, the only way this can be read is while singing the tune of John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt, a distant cousin on her mother's side...
'Twas Christmas Eve when Santa left the North Pole,
the warmth of a cozy hearth fire and his lovely spouse.
He told Rudolph the destination of his immediate goal
was to make his first stop at the nearby Schmidt house.
They landed on a tiny roof with two feet of fresh snow,
because all the reindeer thought that Santa had to pee.
When he saw where they were, he laughed, "Ho, ho, ho."
"Thanks, Rudolph," Santa cried, "for always thinking of me,
but let's take off again, and I'll tell you when I have to go."
December 24, 2021
A Funny Christmas Themed Contest
Hosted by Tania Kitchin
Joe Schmidt grew up the Eastern Bowery
His upbringing was less than flowery
He robbed a few banks
And a few more pranks
After which his whole life turned out sourly.
W-ords
E-xpress
R-emarkable
N-ote
E-mploying
R-ighteousness
S-o
C-lassic
H-eavenly
M-essage
I-s
D-one
T-ruthfully
Topic: Birthday of poet Werner Schmidt (May 03)
Form: Vertical Monocrostic
‘Twas the night before Christmas in the little town of Oberflugelschweinsaxenmitcracklingewurst.
(There are some that are much longer; it isn’t the worst)
Now hier ist ze haus of ze happy family SCHMIDT
Und Herr Schmidt mit rosenconk giving ze gluwein a hit
Ze Schmidt kinder all excited - Santa Claus kommin to town
Und everyone so merry, mit big smiles, und never a frown
Und zere in ze garten ze liddle haus you know what for
Zose are ze shoes of Frau Schmidt sticken aus unter ze door
Und now here ist gekommin Santa Claus on der grosse toboggan
He is singin Oh! so merry cos he also had a noggin
See ze reindeer geklompin uberhead, leaving Lufthasa standingk
Zen down zey are kommin - all ready fur ze Landingk
Ach! Meine Gott! Zey are heading for ze liddle haus in ze garten!
Kablunden! Blitzen ! Alles Kaput! Ze liddle haus Ist geflattened
Und Frau Schmidt ist runningk aus mit ze knickers round ze ankles!
Zat’s enough to spoil your Christmas; in ze snow it really rankles
Fater Christmas zen ist sayingk: "Shtupid dumkopf reindeer - Heraus!
I gave you clear instruction to be landing on ze SCHMIDT Haus !!!!!"
It's the Motor City
Motor Capital of the World
Fordtown
Motown
Hockeytown
It's lying in shards
Like olden Rome
Love among the ruins
With an abrasive outside layer
Of exhaust looks and horrendous faces
It's Rock City
Automobile City
Arsenal of Democracy
Big D
City of Straits
It's a rough, tumble, sports purgatory
Joe Louis pondering
Gordie Howe wondering
Ty Cobb mad as hell
Joe Schmidt praying
What are they yet
Lords of dust
And their inscriptions
However characters
Written in the clean
Desolated by time
Ambushed by flicker
And apparitions of the past
What was at one time, a magnificent sanctuary
Standing glad and solid
Detroit, Detroit
Yesterday is still today
And it's tomorrow, as of now
I adore you still, hi and farewell
The Lords of Detroit, looking down
I've got to say this from the start
Hate me though, you may!
I'm from Philly, born and raised
To God and sports we pray!
When I was just a little girl
The Phillies beat them all
I wanted to marry Michael Schmidt
Sure we would have a ball!
I worked so very hard at school
To earn a bunch of A's
Because the Philly paper gave
Free tickets out as praise!
And as I grew my team has had
Its share of downs and ups
But win or lose, I like tight pants
And cold beer in my cups!
My mother was a Phillies fan
And I find it oh so fitting
That the last time they were World Champs
We at her wake were sitting.
His close friends called John
Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt
'Jonathan' for short.
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