A Christmas Story From Germany

‘Twas the night before Christmas in the little town of Oberflugelschweinsaxenmitcracklingewurst.
(There are some that are much longer; it isn’t the worst)

Now hier ist ze haus of ze happy family SCHMIDT
Und Herr Schmidt mit rosenconk giving ze gluwein a hit

Ze Schmidt kinder all excited - Santa Claus kommin to town
Und everyone so merry, mit big smiles, und never a frown

Und zere in ze garten ze liddle haus you know what for
Zose are ze shoes of Frau Schmidt sticken aus unter ze door

Und now here ist gekommin Santa Claus on der grosse toboggan
He is singin Oh! so merry cos he also had a noggin

See ze reindeer geklompin uberhead, leaving Lufthasa standingk
 Zen down zey are kommin - all ready fur ze Landingk

Ach! Meine Gott! Zey are heading for ze liddle haus in ze garten!
Kablunden! Blitzen ! Alles Kaput! Ze liddle haus Ist geflattened

Und Frau Schmidt ist runningk aus mit ze knickers round ze ankles!
Zat’s enough to spoil your Christmas; in ze snow it really rankles

 Fater Christmas zen ist sayingk: "Shtupid dumkopf reindeer - Heraus!
I gave you clear instruction to be landing on ze SCHMIDT Haus !!!!!"
Copyright © | Year Posted 2018

Poem

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Barden Avatar
December 12, 2018 at 12:45 AM
Blessings and sincerest congratulations for your win in Joseph's fun Christmas contest, Geoffrey - I pray you and yours have a happy and healthy holiday season! Keep the ink flowing, my friend! :-)
Brewer Avatar
December 29, 2018 at 10:36 AM
Thanks for your blessings and kind words, Gregory. May you and yours be blessed in the coming year
Dietrich Avatar
November 22, 2018 at 3:23 PM
Love your humor. this would be a great contest entry for the night before Christmas contest, I think!I have a t shirt showing reindeer running into an outdoor toilet and santa saying to the reindeer, "I said the Schmitt house!" Love that shirt.
Brewer Avatar
November 22, 2018 at 8:06 PM
Thanks, Andrea. I believe in recycling, especially old jokes!
Gauthier Avatar
November 21, 2018 at 6:58 AM
A delightfully funny poem, Geoffrey. Love it.
Brewer Avatar
November 21, 2018 at 11:32 PM
Many thanks, Line. Glad you like it.
Vaso Avatar
November 21, 2018 at 1:04 AM
I quite enjoyed this!!! Well done!
Brewer Avatar
November 21, 2018 at 11:31 PM
Thank you for the feedback, Arthur.
Get a Premium Membership
Turn off ads, get more exposure for your poetry, and get more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Diverse Voices: The Poetry of Human Rights and the Pursuit of Peace