Get me back my sleep, oh God.
I am decaying day by day,
mentally, physically… in innumerable ways.
Neither can I cry, nor can I write.
I don't know what fight
is going on in my mind every day.
Oh God, bring back my normal days!
Am I an insomniac,
or do I simply like the calm of the night this way?
It's 2:29, and I am not fine,
dwindling somewhere in between.
Oh God, get me back my sleep anyway.
What happens to those emotions
that suddenly lose their way?
That was meant to be
but disappeared abruptly
by the decision taken by one!
What happens to those feelings?
Okay, the one who is not changed
tries to get back, tries to resolve,
shouts, cries, or writes poetry!
But what do the others do who take this abrupt decision?
How can they just put an end suddenly
and start not to feel those emotions from the next day?
What do they do with those emotions?
Or while leaving they gifted their own emotional baggage to the one who left behind?
and that's why the one who stays
feels heavier than before,
that they can't raise their head
and spend months just doing nothing,
confining own in a room and lying in bed
neither like a corpse, nor alive, rather half dead.
Do you know how frustration looks like?
Investing two years of your late twenties in someone
just to find out that the person has abandoned you for his family,
with whom you dreamt of building a family.
Do you know what tiredness feels like?
That you are in your early thirties
and so drained out
that you don't want to start with "Hey, what's your favourite colour?" once again.
Now you shall have to turn your loneliness into solitude.
Now you shall have to tell your desires to transform into a celibate
and just wipe away all the wishes to be a bride, to be a mother, to start a household so neatly,
as if you never desired them!
Just because you don't want to start anything
which will lead to futility.
Not anymore.
No more patience left to judge whose fault it was!
You abandoned me in my most needy days:
the way in summer, people curse the sun's rays.
The way people forget an umbrella after the rains.
The way people throw the band-aid after healing from the pains.
Tell me which hurt more, rejecting at first,
or after winning the trust
stabbing on the back
such a way that you can never trust the word 'trust' again?
Tell me if not love, then what causes such pain?
I love that added tenderness in my body each month;
it's like I incarnate the spring myself:
delicate bloosoms, that juiciness,
ready to bear and bring a new life on the Earth.
But the pollination never happen,
because my husband died four years ago.
Thus, instead of adoring the fetus in my womb,
I'm adoring my poetry on my notepad:
from my pregnant mind they comes out to fill my life
and reduce the emptiness of not being a mother of a human offspring.
My windows were wide open.
I learned to think broader,
I used to see the broader picture through my windowpane.
My wider views never taught me to squint my eyes
when it was time to look through others' spectacles.
I felt human bonds were made in paradise:
thus I evoked all the pain.
Failing to endure all the mental tortures from humankind,
doubts are evoking in my mind;
I don't know if that was just a green screen behind my windowpane!
The bonfire wasn't comforting me anymore,
it was burning me inside out.
I thought it was odd, how it could be!
Maybe it's all my fault for not being able to tolerate the warmth
and blaming this comfortable symmetry.
I return back near,
leaving my doubt and fear.
This time, ashes were rising above,
but I kept my thoughts grounded.
Those all were darkening me from outside,
still, I was holding myself tight,
as I thought it was my darkness that was luring me.
We’ve been together for as long as I
can remember
If I was a raging fire you were that
first ember
You cheered me up every time I got
depressed
You got me through the moments that
I felt stressed
Every time that I needed you, you were always there
That amazing feeling you gave me
nothing could compare
I had to see you multiple times just
to get through the day
How I felt when you weren’t around is
a feeling I can’t convey
I’d do anything and everything just to
spend time with you
I would sell my very soul if that’s what
I had to do
The help you once gave me became
a thing of the past
I now see clearly the dark shadow on
my life you had cast
Everything you made me feel turned out
to be lies
Not a friend at all, you were the devil in disguise
I needed to find a way to keep you from coming back
I found NA meetings is what keeps me
on the right track
Working the 12 step program and finding
my higher power
Being able to kick my addiction and
leaving you to cower
How did all this begin
How did this illness start
When I was being torn to pieces
Or when I was completely ripped
apart
Everyday being consumed with intense unrelenting sadness
Not understanding why pushed me
further into madness
As my mental health continued to
quickly decline
Dark clouds rolled in the sun just
wouldn’t shine
These overpowering emotions I just
couldn’t control
Every bit of hope I once had they had
entirely stole
Emotional overload was bursting out
at the seams
The deafening sound of my own
internal tortured screams
Overwhelmed broken and knocked
down to my knees
This depression of mine will surely be
my fatal disease
i am wood dragon
ma is a water tiger
great trees need water
As I heard a sad
story of a woman named
Elysée,
I am standing to tell the entire world about it.
The woman who knows her value.
As some mercenaries called
M23 entered her house around
a day and foced her to lay on the ground
while looking at the sky.
She listened to them and laid easily
on the floor to avoid to be slaughtered
or shot publicly.
As she refused to sleep
with some mercenaries,
She was hit,
raped,
and mutilated ...
her eyes gouged out
in the presence of her children
and husband.
I can say loud, "
Woe to these heartless
Rwandan mercenaries."
As the women celebrate today
March 8, 2025.
My call to you dear mamas and sisters,
" feel the pains of Congolese women
Oh wise women of the World.
Stand with the women of Goma
and Bukavu who are victims of daily atrocities.
So sad as many women of northern, southern
Kivu and ituri continue to be preys of some rebels
and mercenaries.
Your laughter haunts my lonely nights,
Memories echo in empty halls,
Each whisper stabs my aching heart,
Once we soared, now shadows fall,
A friendship lost, a love undone,
In silence, tears become my song.
From a little sapling to a tree,
He grows, he grows to be,
Stuck to its roots still,
Can’t go anywhere, can’t be free,
Stuck in the soil,
His own not allowing him to go,
He just sits there, where he sadly grows
Now I nourish words,
or the words nourish me!
Trust me now it's groundless,
as in each other's vicinity, we feel glee.
And black nights pass by,
and we remain close but free;
not as caged in a jealous lover's company,
but soulful: that whatever we feel we set them free,
to be scribed into the paper
to immortalize each other's vicinity.
kissed by the blues (lyric)
hay baby
hay you
do you know
why i
listen to the blues
why i
like that little
heart braking tune
it so i can remeber
you!
the good and the bad
of loving you
oh!
sometimes
i cry
sometimes i laugh
but i still love to
cry over
losen you
you you you
you were my
good time
and my bad
you had my hart
in the begining
and now i am
sing my way to
the ending
and when the
last note
come flowing
from my heart
just know
that my
love runs
blue over you
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