How hard is my life?
Thorns minus any roses
The stings bring much pain
364.
My Fear of Purgatory
I fear physical death because I may just go…
To the garden of agony for unclean spirits
Where I will be chastised for all of my guilts
Like a lowly worm being fed with s!
To the garrison of misery for heavy souls
Where I will be tortured with burning coals
Like a war captive overwhelmed by troubles!
-03/20/2015
(Dumarao)
*My Fear of Death Collection
I'm not sure how to say--
Alright.
Well, I shall try.
Pardonome, de la Luna.
Assist me now, or give ignorant bliss,
So long as I am ignorant of it,
For, ignorance is never bliss,
Less you ignorant to the consequence--
No moons wax eternally,
Can so say the sun,
A witness when the day is done,
And now Luna wanes.
And says one, the sun shall shine,
Given, too, the night does die.
Yet both fruit rotten, and those ripe,
Eventually meet the same demise.
And seeing as how a mortal life,
Is nothing but a temporary grain of sand,
Compared to the realms of afterlife:
An earth free, never ending land,
I feel as though a gust of wind
Has shaken my tree,
And all falls,
Falls,
Heavily, heavily--
Heavily.
Now as the wind,
I suddenly view with qu eer equality:
Nothing.
All is now equally nothing.
So, ahem,
Pardonome, de la Luna.
My fruit has fallen on Jupiter, so,
Assist me now, or give ignorant bliss,
So long as I am ignorant of it.
For, ignorance is never bliss,
Less you ignorant to the consequence.
The laundry needed changing
Impossible in the house I was trapped
Long-haired pot-smokin' hippies
Cluttered the hallways, impeding my progress
Laughing and blocking my movements
Arms full of clothes
The way I saw it, I had to get out
Rushing the streets I sought refuge at the
Laundromat way down the street
Finally free I finished my laundry chores
Content I had shaken evil influences
Leaving the window open
Letting fresh air in
She was so wishy-washy she went to neither heaven or hell
Purgatory forever is where this listless lifeless one will dwell
She could never decide on this, that, them, he, she, or another
I blame her doting, spoiling family – mom, dad, sister and brother.
As I walk down the narrow tunnel
In the solitude of Purgatory,
I see paper hearts lining the wall,
Like childrens' cut-outs, 'quite ordinary'.
Each heart has a penned name on its face.
I'm jolted seeing these memories----
Names of suitors I've known in the past,
Fascinating romance and reveries.
Their admiration fell on deaf ears,
And I left each one with a broken heart.
Promises given, in truth, I lied.
These loves forgotten, I sought a new start.
The last pink heart, I grabbed from the wall.
I recall his face and his roguish winks,
And the bike he rode to Adventure's call.
By Gosh, this last card has the name of Jinks.
Eight years ago, in February,
You jumped on your Harley and sped away.
Now I shout the words I'd failed to say,
"Have fun Jinks. Happy Valentine Day."
The gentle purgatory invites me, my harbor,
If a man doesn’t belong in hell or heaven,
Neither in life or love, where does he belong?
To his forever home, where he shall rest…
When will my judgment come? He asked
of him, who stood, face shadow-masked
in moonlit dark, beside his right.
Don't let it be this mournful night.
Perhaps so, or not; has, or ne'er,
they rasped, exhaling rancid air
so brackish foul to cause a soul
to wish for Golden Oriole.
Who asked, who heard for judgments call
within, without, or none at all?
And yet, the shadow questions so;
and answers as a cawing crow
of dreams for which they dare not ask
the truth, but hide behind a mask;
as he, or they, for we are many.
They lay upon their eyes a penny;
I still have tales to tell, they plea!
They spoke; what is you ask of me?
What's done cannot yet be not so
you held that power long ago
and sold it, for this coin we give.
You think that they can now forgive?
He smells them near, their sulfurous breath;
is this a dream, the truth, a death?
Death is for those who felt some pain;
who smelled the flowers in the rain,
shed a tear at sunset's dying glow;
it is not yours to now foreknow.
They softly say with whispered threat.
It may well come, but not just yet;
there's time for you and I to play,
for you to waste another day.
A step down the downright cone.
Praying a peace tends the toans.
At the creaking arch of every boan,
a higher pitch, take the tones.
Tones taking a piece for peace.
Screaming, 'walk upright, please’.
The all-seeing raven, cursed by fate,
To witness all, yet never relate.
It sees no light, nor darkest shade,
Its wings spread wide, yet flight delayed.
The Raven Lord, lost to the void,
A monarch of what’s been destroyed.
What once it was fades, drifting slow,
Into the shadows it does go.
Pondering deep, a mind untamed,
In purgatory, it remains unnamed.
Forever lost in sands that climb,
A figure trapped outside of time.
I felt my last heartbeat
Took my last breath
Then the scream came
My soul no longer belonged to me
Wearing her black robes
She lowered herself from her horse
The Banshee came to collect me
She never spoke, not a single word
But I knew that I had to go
Where I had to go was her decision
She dumped me at the door to the afterlife
I heard family and friends calling from above
Family and friends calling from below
She left me to rot in the land of Purgatory
Her decision and her law without appeal
So, I guess I found my new home
At least for all eternity
© Poem – XXIV/VII/MMXXIV
LRET
it’s not its striking unique slate of tones
as if vincent had risen from his century
long sleep
it is not nature’s rich hypnotic melodies
or the slim fingers of gusts touches our
very cores
stirs emotions in the coldest of humans or the
crackling sound under our new walking shoes
it is not the acorn berets chipmunks discard below
white oaks once they devour its scrumptious meat
not the wagon rides or the hot chocolates that
stamps its marker on children’s innocent faces
it’s not the bliss(greater than any gift) our kids
ingratiates us in displaying their unadulterated
love returned continuously and unconditionally
this adventure reminds us of our blessings
a welcomed little something beyond cities
however it’s not any one single happening
of this season which fills our hearts warm
it’s the multitude of many moments
the ones greater than any reality or
of all the fantasies found in dreams
deep within our fortresses built
it’s all the endearing memories
autumn leaves
armand~
Does your passion burn everlasting
Does your pent up want turn to pain
Are you going through loves mundane motions
While knowing it’s never gonna change
You know how much I appreciate you
Who we kidding can’t we call it love
For each heartbeat we waste regret takes its place
Let’s let our souls combine into one
I want you
You want me
Am I wrong
I don’t believe
I think we both know
Who’s always been the one
Now here we are making believe
Only dreaming our fantasies
While we’re stuck in
Passions purgatory
I come to you you come to me
We find comfort and disbelief
Knowing we’re so close yet far away
I wear my heart upon my sleeve
While we smile we both grieve
We’re stuck in
Passions purgatory
I love you
You love me
Am I wrong
I don’t believe
I think we both know
Who’s always been the one
Now here we are making believe
Only dreaming our fantasies
While we’re stuck in
Passions purgatory
We’re stuck in
Passions purgatory
Living in Purgatory
What do you do when you've had enough
You Can't end it all
But you no longer want to continue
Because you cant move forward
The pasts grip
is holding you back
But it wants to drag you back
to the pain and misery
But you stand strong
Eager to get going
Eager to move on
But You're stuck
Being held in purgatory
See you're Alive
but you're not Living
Stuck in stagnation
Becoming Stagnant stood still
Feet are firmly rooted to the ground
But while life still runs through you
Blood pumping through your veins
Air inflates and deflates your lungs,
Heart heartedly thumping
Strong thump, thump, thump,
Eyes blinking blink blink
In sync with one another
A statue stuck in the present
Trying to run from the past
To map out a future
But here I remain stuck
Between times tenses
Whose pull will win
The past the present
or the future
Or will I remain here
In the present
Stagnant Stuck
Living my life in purgatory.
Include the date 30/01/2022, contest name, 2022 Poetry Marathon Mile 26 Poetry Contest.
Living in Purgatory
What do you do when you've had enough
You Can't end it all
But you no longer want to continue
Because you cant move forward
The pasts grip
is holding you back
But it wants to drag you back
to the pain and misery
But you stand strong
Eager to get going
Eager to move on
But You're stuck
Being held in purgatory
See you're Alive
but you're not Living
Stuck in stagnation
Becoming Stagnant stood still
Feet are firmly rooted to the ground
But while life still runs through you
Blood pumping through your veins
Air inflates and deflates your lungs,
Heart heartedly thumping
Strong thump, thump, thump,
Eyes blinking blink blink
In sync with one another
A statue stuck in the present
Trying to run from the past
To map out a future
But here I remain stuck
Between times tenses
Whose pull will win
The past the present
or the future
Or will I remain here
In the present
Stagnant Stuck
Living my life in purgatory.
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