To all the girls I loved before,
who couldn't wait to whisk me out the door ~
who, after a single, attempted kiss
exclaimed, "Oh please, no more of this!"
Please know, je t'aime encore!
If it's delicious
I pretend to be angry
Want to ask for more.
Not a great pretender
So, I quit; a weakness?
So, I rethink; heavy weight
Should I go?
- what's waiting on the other side?
Unaffirmative, constant anger,
What's the problem?
For we do the job you asked; why the furious?
— now I think, did I do something wrong
Call us out, call me out!
My mental health is at stake
I am not your great pretender
Look at my expression; the face says it all!
90 more days: believing faith —
Blindfaith, stagnant
Change: where is?
Running to the crowd? Hiding away?
I'm sick in the head, is there a funeral?
Send me away, no changing a mind
A cabinet! One day I cleaned
You hear no complain, fine
Like everything else
What else? To do?
The angel would be mad if we not do something
You'd say
Give us something for never have we complained
And you're still mad
I do not understand!
My mind is tired!
A change of heart!
A hope I admired
Never acclaimed
I thought before my impulse
Hoping! Indeed
Tired, in my mind
My emotions asleep
It does not care but my brain does - every bit of it
Indeed deteriorates
You in my mind! I hate
Think deep and mull over your every sin,
Look unto mind's mirror, critical, keen
To wash your every single evil clean,
Confess, your true self’s confidence to win.
You are the plaintiff, you are the witness,
The defence lawyer are you, and the judge,
Harm there's none to come clean and to confess,
Need there be none to feign, nor ever fudge.
O beware still of that old impostor
That pretends to be what he never is,
To mislead you, he being an actor
Will pose: child at times or parent to please.
Have you ever noticed his hidden guilt?
Not once has he donned robes of an adult.
Yet, if nothing works, just come back to me,
Forget the world; come to me just to be.
_______________________________________
A man is torn apart by the machinations of his ego. His conscience is nigh but crushed. And then he hears a voice from his lady love: Forget all this pursuit of becoming; come to me and just be. The sonnet allows itself an extra couplet.
Sonnets | 02.03.06, revised Feb 2023 |
The Hound dissed the Princess,
With a dour scowl.
He hid his little mistress,
Quickly to be avowed.
The inquest was listless,
with nothing much found.
Now the Bonnie Prince,
will wear a Kings Crown.
H.Elless
Poet
I write love and joy,
I write pain and nostalgia...
I write what I feel,
I'm not a pretender...
I'm a poet,
but I don't lie
in poetry... !
The poet a creator, simulates further than he truly feels
fuelled elaborate lie with friends of ventures
with boy I barely knew
All girls' school... Poor deprived fourteen year olds we were! Group of girls hung vicariously on my riveting ridiculous stories. I think I gained status by telling fanciful fibs.... Blessed, these simple times before social media mayhem ....!
Submitted to Contest: Monoku High School Memory
Sponsor : JCB Burl
17 syllables checked
2nd September 2020
Birds fly,
because they have wings ...
The fire burns,
because it has a flame ...
The water wets,
because it's liquid ...
I pretend that all this
I do because I have
imagination...
I'm a poet ...!
Ticking clock seems to progress too slow
All the while my disorders take control of everything I see
Everyone watches, examines my actions, as if they know
When told otherwise, they blame and point fingers at me.
It hurts, when they are the closest people I have around
It hurts, when they dont listen to my pleas
It hurts, when told I'm faking, forcing me further down
And God it hurts, when those very people who stay, leave.
My arm has taken alot of physical damage
My legs have recieved alot of the same
Scars are not hidden from my bodily image
Adding more scars could ruin my name.
Go ahead and tell me I'm faking again
Sit there on your throne up high, judging all you see
And as my soul crumbles to ash in the end,
I want you to watch it, and realize you're the pretender, not me
the great pretender
emperor of emptiness
and lord of nothing
i'm a pretender
a thin man in disguise
return to sender
with address hard pressed to find
considered a keeper
secrets about myself
i'm a deciever
some things i can not help
a reverse revolator
there are things i'll never tell
a strong detonator
wiring myself up to fail
He was so charming, but never a prince.
Sweet words he chose to mix and mince.
How could my mind have been so dense,
To let my heart rob me of common sense?
It's true, I fell for many of his smooth lines.
Love pricks like a fork with sharpened tines.
Wounds causing me to need a defender
From the one I call the great pretender.
Or am I the pretender?
Aren't we all great pretenders,
at one time or another?
There is a high block,
A bending vanity,
As I splurge in the cellular
Dysfunction of the disapproved.
Assemble me, my parts swift up
Like a robotic tendency,
And I cast asleep
The sorrow of my disposition.
I am a channel,
A bolted up medium
And I can swallow little a ghoul more
Than the intake of my discharge.
Sip me down,
I, supple dilettante,
In the shrew confuse
Of remedy’s dawn.
August 2015
“Say a prayer for the pretender.”
Often, I feel incongruent
Pieces of me just don’t seem to match
Others can find me difficult to put together
My smile can cover an internal sneer
I must admit that I often try to hide my anger
I don’t want you to see the hurt inside
Anxiety is the uncomfortable veil that I wear
I feel exposed although I’m fully clothed
A disquieting truth lies behind these closed doors
My denial is secured by denial
I pretend I’m not a pretender.
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