I was tying my shoes
Wrapped with thoughts of death
Wondered if the stone beneath me
Would appreciate the human dire
Splashed over it like ketchup
And no, it wasn’t thoughts of suicide
For I know death is not really what I want
Maybe I do write letters sometimes
About my last day on this ground,
but they're just words caused by pain
And yet I can’t help but wonder
If murderers do feel fear when they kill
I wonder if the sin of lying is equal to killing
I never told you what I felt
I kept it all to myself
Darkness filling up my soul
Emotions spun out of control
Evil thoughts circled my brain
My heart feeling so much pain
There was so much going wrong
Happening for way to long
Day by day it just got worse
My silence was like a curse
That would leave me so unsteady
Because I was never ready
To share what was deep inside
Each night I secretly cried
Because words I needed to say
To you would just slip away
Every time I tried to seek
The courage I'd become weak
Now I sit here with one thought
Why I never really fought
The angered demons way down deep
Just one whisper or a peep
From my lips right to your ears
Might have taken all my fears
Away -- but I was not that smart
Now its too late I broke the heart
Of a friend I've known forever
Who stood by me through stormy weather
But this raincloud that follows me
Left both of us in misery
'Tis another sunrise, bright and yellow.
Yet the world that holds me feels so hollow.
My ev'ry breath is but an empty cask.
Yet ev'ry step I take bears a full flask.
Ev'ry thought that I hold makes the ground quake.
Ev'ry conviction makes the wide sky break.
The path I chose remained a cracked tankard.
Yet my journey is a brimming tankard.
All certainty dissolved, and naught remains.
Each thought gives birth to thought in endless chains.
My life is but a bottle with no hole.
I am the sot who wholly lacks control.
Who am I now to stay here, bound in doubt?
To drink, to think—and still to go without?
There’s an emptiness inside me
That makes me hollow
But takes up space.
It crushes me internally,
Takes away my hunger
And doesn’t let me breathe.
I have to force my lungs
To take in the air
Like I’m mouth-feeding my inner child.
But all I take in
Is pain
that keeps me empty.
But then I find you again.
I feel your presence,
Even though we don’t belong
To each-other anymore
And I feel the colors
of your soul,
Even tho you don’t want me
Around anymore.
And then You look at me
Like I have never held you
And You speak to me
Like I’ve never heard you sing
And that pain fills me
But at least I’m not hollow
Anymore.
Every brush stroke feels like I’m healing
As I paint these stars all over your ceiling
Drawing constellations all over the walls
Slow dancing to you every time that you call
I trace the soft orbits of our shadows aligned
To rid the world of perfection—it’d be so unkind
No man or Adonis could entrap me, its feeble
You’re a child of beauty, so damn pure and regal
I wait in the depths of my own bleeding heart
Trying to tear down the walls that keep us apart
You grant me sweet nothings—a pleasurable start
I’m living on the moon now and I’ll never depart
Fading in, fading out with every kiss of your name
You’ve got me in your palm and I have no one to blame
Take a bow in the silence, my efforts are in vain
Because loving you darling.. is sweet holy pain.
When tomorrow comes,
let not fear be your friend.
Take every step forward
where the road never ends.
Leave all of yesterday's pain
at a place beyond the dust.
Put your faith in God,
because He knows you suffered enough.
Even when you think you're hurt
and can't go on,
reach deep within your heart
for the strength to be strong.
Because your family will be the light
that will help carry you through,
somewhere deep in your heart,
you know our love is true.
Remember, we'll stand behind you
and always have your back.
Even when your faith is damaged,
we will guide you back on track.
So continue to keep your head up;
don't let the weight hold you down.
In the end, you're going to be okay,
because the strength you thought was lost
has now just been found.
I've been trying to climb this mountain called life
But I keep tumbling down
My heart is broken and I am bruised inside
My strength is gone and I dont think I can carry on
No one knows or sees my wounds
I have learned to hide them deep in the heart of the mountain
I wonder if I will ever reach the top
Will I ever see a different and beautiful view
The valley has left my life distorted
Frowning ghosts haunt my memories
I have heard them say
When you reach the top of the mountain
What you see will shock you
It is all nothing but emptiness
There's a storm in my heart
It has tattooed scars on my soul
I have seen the ugly face of a wound
It reeked bitterness
And in the cold dark pain
I felt something die inside me
Now I carry the carcass of dream
My hopes have deserted me
To crown me king of sorrow
My kingdom is brokenness
Pieces of me lie shattered and bruised
I have no song and no dance
I have become a forlorn statue
Time scorns at my disappointments
There is a part of me that no longer cries
It is buried deep inside gloom
I have become stone and desert
And when the arid winds blow
I cringe like a wounded animal
And howl in pain
Biting cold night
Tears on a rose
Her petals turn gray
Death sucks her life away
She stands alone in feeling
No one knows her secret cries
She has shed away her hopes
Her beautiful soul holds memories
Of times sunshine kissed her face
Now darkness swamps her world
On the grave where they have laid her to rest
First of all, I need to say
Aloud what is hidden away.
The pain of heartache weighs on me.
Can words of truth set me free?
You made me a believer.
Pain, you showed me what is real;
You even taught me how to feel.
To believe that I could rise
Above a life based on lies.
You made me a believer.
All my wounds lie deep within,
But my demons will not win.
I'll bring them out into the light,
Tell my truth and make it right.
You made me a believer.
Born to live my life with pride,
The road has been a rocky ride
Especially when the doves cried
(Heard me screaming deep inside).
You made me a believer.
So, let life throw rocks my way.
I will march into the fray.
A victim I will never be
If I react assertively.
You made me a believer.
I see the beauty through the pain.
On life must fall a little rain
To put out fires of deep regret;
Draining feelings in rivulets.
You made me a believer.
Pain made me a firm believer
That life can be a big deceiver,
But it taught me what is real;
To reconcile with how I feel.
Pain made me a believer.
In Pain
I could cry,
But no one wants to see that.
I could scream,
But no one wants to hear that.
Pain only I know,
Pain only I understand.
Hopeless in my pain
With blistered hands we reach for the things that are sweet,
And gather the ashes that fall at our feet.
We barter for things that decay,
And cry when it all gets swept away.
We hide from the heat,
Believing every sting is our defeat.
Yet, these earthen vessels are broken before being filled,
The stone must be struck before the waters are spilled.
Our small comforts we guard and we run from the rod,
We mistake our wounds for the absence of God.
We forget that oil is pressed,
And the soul must be emptied before it finds rest.
The branch must be pruned before blossoms appear,
And joy that we seek is bought through the tear.
So open these hands that have clung to the clay,
And shatter the jar for the dawn of the day.
I feel you near even when you're not here,
even when your face no longer lingers in my head,
when the wind no longer carries your scent,
and my body starts forgetting the feel
of your featherlight touch.
I feel your presence every single minute,
even your soft voice whispering in my ear.
I remember your smile,
the one that used to melt my heart,
and even your words that cut deep
and left a scar.
Yet I also remember the way
you used to gaze into my eyes,
as if I meant the world to you.
I remember how those glances
always made me fall in love with you,
and how, every single day,
I kept losing a little piece of you.
I find myself reflecting on many things I have long forgotten,
including the invaluable wisdom imparted by my elders.
Yet the memories of the pain inflicted by others remain vivid
as I navigate the complexities of friendships and past betrayals.
I have also released numerous reassurances that were extended to me.
"You can trust me," they often proclaimed.
I try to overlook the fact that a large breadfruit serves as a meal
for my siblings and me, while our dog receives only a small portion.
My weary mind strives to preserve my memories.
the faces of familiar individuals gradually fade from my recollection.
The promises and falsehoods from our leaders linger lightly in my thoughts,
drifting like a feather in the breeze. I sneeze—particles of brain cells.
Today I chose to take it easy; I wish Metal AI could decipher this as well.
My words are often written,
To riddles and rhyme.
Many days misunderstood,
So much of the time.
If I'm to be clear, need I sacrifice
Some harmony, for just ol' plain?
Or do I need to be more thoughtful,
Connecting ideas along the chain?
That's where I tend to wrestle,
With these words all the time.
To the point of near fracture,
And it's nearly a crime.
As I bend and mold obscure meaning,
Around the rhetoric in place.
While I hope it somehow connects,
Making sense of time and space.
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