Hollywood casts its new shooting star
Opulence follows the tale
Larger than life lifestyle sits on green gables
Larger than life ego sips from golden goblets
Yearly excursion to the plastic surgeon
Whirlwind romances blow
Overseas to cease and desist two diseases
Oil of olay won't save the day
Dingy can't find a safe port
Hollywood's new shooting star shot with penicillin
An arrow a day keeps the shivers from quivers away
She still swears he gave it to her
Both attend the press conference with lawyers
Exuberant fans become ex-fans
Except when cutting red ribbons at fastfood takeout stakeouts
Nobody notices the smell for weeks
Cows give milk, also 'wallets' sewn from leather
'shoes' accent her dress, 'Hide's' cover her body
in northern freezing weather...
USDA protects everybody
Beef prepared, served as a main course
should be shared somewhere with your buddy
family or friends, perhaps any somebody
especially when smothered in steak sauce
Lobster you eat I adore
this Poem I scribe, for nutrition to explore
scientists observe shellfish close, daily
lobsters fight, a victor will mate, Olay!
Scientist, those fishermen, do monitor count
then will return females, increase their amount
large ones will not be placed on a menu
nutritionist catalog value, appointment venue
having read that interesting message at-top
good decision, you will decide, as you shop
for your 'Maine Lobster' is truly to be loved
dipped in butter, healthier than our cow above
A lithe performer with Cirque d’Soliel
First much oiled herself with Oil of Olay,
Then practiced her intense high wire plie
While clad only in a grand floral lei.
Her act was a graceful mid-air ballet
After, she rode off in a silver sleigh
Driven by a group of leprechaun fey
Audiences shouted a Spanish ole,
Overall, an awesome performance, eh?
THIRD PLACE WINNER
Written November 1, 2022
Submitted to “Monomixorhyme” Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Hilo Poet
[61 words. Nine 10-syllable lines checked by HMS.com
“plie” is a ballet term, pronounced two syllables “plea-aye.”]
It's another fine day in the neighbourhood
Enjoy it while we have it, appreciate the good
Three cheers and olay
This extraordinary day
We'll soon freeze our bums off in a parka with hood
Well, it's another fine day in the neighbourhood
Enjoy it while we have it, appreciate the good
Three cheers and olay
This extraordinary day
We'll soon freeze our bums off in a parka with a hood
Nothing more tragic or comical, than to think life ends at fifty.
So terribly brainwashed...really!
A sag here, a wrinkle there, proves you lived a long life.
To an old dame, like me, I celebrate life, it's beautiful and nifty.
The mirror reflects the outer you, not a big deal, really.
Unless you are drunk on your body, poor you, strutting about
conceitedly!
So what have you done for someone else today?
Have you made a difference to someone in any way, or areyou
running to the store for yet another jar of Oil of Olay?
If all we are is our bodies, a very sad state of affairs.
Let's get off the "gotta be young train" and instead grow
truly, spiritual and compassionate brains!
June 10, 2020
9:30 pm PST
Poem # 1,233
The ecstasy when biting into a chocolate bar
Can only be described as echocstacy from Mars
Pretty tricky, eh
Mars bars, olay
It's the thrill you got when you saw your first dinosaur
Don't know if “delicious” can describe today
Another I can think of is perhaps “yee-haw, olay!”
Ye ole sun's shining brightly
I tip my hat politely
Sounds like I'm from a time when gentlemen were all gay
A well-groomed matador José
Liked to moisturize with Oil of Olay
His hands lost their grip
The cape it did slip
He was gored as he cried out "¡Olé!"
Don't know if “delicious” can describe today
Another I can think of is perhaps “yee-haw, olay!”
Ye ole sun's shining brightly
I tip my hat politely
Sounds like I'm from the dark ages when gentlemen were gay?
At night I slather on my face
An anti-wrinkle cream
So it can make me youthful
While I toss and turn and dream.
Of course it doesn't work and yet,
This ritual remains,
With just the manufacturer
To really make some gains.
Surprisingly, I saw an ad
(Full-page, The New York Times)
That made me laugh, for irony
Inspires many rhymes.
It claimed most women do believe
They're judged based on their age;
Unfairly, too, the font declared
Upon the paper's page.
The ad was paid for by Olay,
My anti-wrinkle maker,
Reminding us that age should not
Define a gal or break her.
A bit ironic, don't you think?
To follow their advice,
I should not use their anti-aging
Wrinkle merchandise!
Inspired by and sung to "The Whip It" tune by Devo.
CRACK that old age whip
Give it a pink slip,
Step on an elliptical,
Old age shouldn't have come this quick!
Now whip your bod,
into shape,
tone it up,
its not too late,
to whip it,
and slim it up good...
When old age comes along,
you must fix it,
before the youth cream sets out too long,
you must mix it,
when wrinkles come on too strong,
you can lick it,
Now mix it,
mix it good,
pour it on,
its not too late,
to be using,
some Retinol and Oil of Olay,
And if that doesn't work,
don't give up now,
theres still a botox doc in town,
go and get some,
you'll look puffy for awhile,
but don't worry, you'll deflate soon!
Don't nix it,
till you try it,
its not too late,
don't be frustrated,
get some shots
of lots of botox,
And always as a last resort,
if that doesn't work,
call up a plastic doc,
there might just be some glitches,
can make you like Michael Jackson,
and in that case, you'd better zip it!
Now go forward,
move ahead,
its not too late,
to go into debt,
so whip it
whip your card out!
Hungry in France
Garçon, garçon
bring hot soupçon
bouillabaisse accent egu.
Qu'est-ce que c’est, qu’est-ce que c’est?
Sounds like I’m un peu coucou.
Sacrebleu, Sacrebleu
what can I do?
In French all I learned to say
was frère Jacques frère Jacques
and café au lait, olay!
Starving; I am starving;
I’m hungry as a hog
still snails will never touch my tongue
nor the legs of a frog.
Kathryn McLoughlin Collins
May 24, 2012
For Cyndi's "Un deux trois"
Ignore it if you want - I just couldn't get the poetry form down.i
Long, slim, chocolate, and divine
Most men, and even some women pine... feign over this birthday suit of mine
Smooth layers with no assistance from oil of olay
I sport my suit proudly as if everyday were my birthday
My scars add character and tell my story
My birthday suit expresses my battles and my glories
And we all know that when chocolate gets too hot, it melts
And I like chocolate, so I admit that sometimes I do like to taste myself
I just can't seem to help it
Because my birthday suit always demands another helping
But there are many who cannot handle the sweetness
They get a little sugar in their system and my suit becomes their weakness
For those that cannot handle, I strongly suggest a sugarless diet
Because once you've taken a bite, you'll forever be tempted to try it
You may even be tempted to buy it
Just remember, No returns, refunds, and no exchanges
And bout time I'm finished with you, this birthday suit will surely be famous!!
At the first piece of twilight
the night's fleece goes astray.
Nebulous clusters of unwhite
destines into mass decay.
And to the chorus of birds on height:
Welcome, oh sweet break of day!
Then the dwindling songs of coyotes goes finite
cause it's morning turn to say: Olay, Olay!
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