witch who rides rooster lived up to her name
in our hamlet she was a crone who had a bit of fame
the rooster named Oscar was a jokester for sure
he told the best stories, some were bawdy, impure
witch who rides rooster never knew about his talk
she did not speak beak language, she thought he only could squawk
but we peahens and white hens and hens of another mother
knew his jokes were blue, and often off-color.
A Literary Character Clerihew Poetry Contest
Andrea Dietrich
Huck and Jim escape their past,
And both off-color lads grew up fast.
Taking the raft of the Mississippi,
For a moral ride that is zippy.
Huckleberry "Huck" Finn is a fictional character created by Mark Twain
in faces lined like glaciers
sometimes there's loneliness
that cuts a tow line to safety
air of flux and hostility
over dazed eyes
turbulent modernity
sometimes we yearn for elegance
like a warm shoulder
its edge of acceptance
fitted with precision
yearn to heal a heart in straight jacket pain
to know motivation that punches above the weight
of a fragile frame
to relish the faith of a welcoming hand
to find a community
that bends the bar of one's cage into bracelets
shuffled like a deck of cards
lives seldom remain still
yearning to break an existence slurred by off color jokes
reaching for an unseeable light
a homeward wish
smothering woe
Ok I am going to trot this one out once again
not knowing if it will be better received than
When it flopped in Peoria.
I love to hear people laugh.I love to have a part in making people laugh.Sometimes I get carried
away in that pursuit.
Once while talking on the phone to my oldest sister
and hearing her little giggle I retold a joke
my brother the crass master had told.
Granted it was borderline yet bizarre enough
that it would not offend I believed
You be the judge......Hey Deloris I said did you hear about that guy that died while eating fresh mountain oysters?No,in a voice of concern she said. Yeah,seems the hog drug him through a barbed wire fence............silence.......more silence
Yet still more s....... well you get the picture.
I don't consider myself to be a heathen but then this stuff happens.
Don't know exactly what she found off color about it.Feel free to clue me in.I never asked her about it
as her infinite silence was all the chastising I can handle in that regard.So shoot me a line kids,Set me straight. Should I cull this one for good?
A word that surely had to go
Folks pronounced it 'Knee-grow'
Just as with 'shi-tte'
~ It took a big hitt-e
_________________________________
Note: 'sbitte' is Chaucerian-era Middle
English, pronounced 'shi-teh' and mean-
ing 'brown.' Today, we impatient moderns
spell it with only four letters.
The sun shined through the window
An unexpected gift today
Coming through overcast skies
Light shining, as it wants to play
Casting dancing shadows in the breeze
Warming the cool morning air
We sit on the edge of autumn
With a beautiful day so fair
Mountains are ready to show off color
With trees covering their side
Observers wait to see the foliage
Where the scenery here never hides
Gratitude rises along with the sun
It’s another special day to view
Warming a soul in a special place
Seeing rivers, lakes and rocks too
Heidi Sands
9/18/20
Who is the ugliest at the ugly bug ball?
Is it the hideous gnat or giraffe so tall?
Could it be that spitting camel with the ugly hump?
Or the orangutan with the butt that makes us jump?
Mayhaps it is the blue-footed boobie, a weird looking fellow
Or that weird looking duckling whose suit is off-color yellow.
Bloody turkey buzzard with mouth full of gore just came in.
He is not only ugly, but his carnivorous ways are an evil twin.
Octopus, penguin, goat, quail, each with an oddity.
Scorpion, wasp, rattlesnake with pattern of a vee….
Who is the ugliest at the ugly bug ball?
Starfish and squirrel get to pick but they went to the mall.
Could it be the mongoose, the peahen or yak?
Let’s choose the winner before they get back.
Sturgeon has a suggestion. It sounds like a wow.
Let’s call it a tie, and give them all a big whack.
Throughout our lives we sometimes blunder
We assume our writings are received with humor
A failure to understand
The reaction is unplanned
The recipient recoils at the humor off-color
Humor makes everything seem sunny
Though some things can leave our eyes runny
Gonna lighten things up
Tell some off-color smut
Sure gets one's attention especially if smutty
~
I gaze at the sunrise,
it’s apricot view
While spending my morning
just thinking of you
It’s glow on the heavens
a magical scene
Of lemonade wishes
and cantaloupe sheen
Though still it is muted
an off color shade
As something is missing
this dawn now displayed
For until your beautiful
smile comes my way
This morn will be merely
just another day
~
Never too old to have some fun
Peddling slowly with shaded eyes
Dressed to be fit in off-color Levi's
A noon-time bicycle ride out in the sun
Loving each other, loving life
So long they've lived; husband & wife
Never too old to have some fun
(photo 1.)
Make It Seven Poetry Contest
Sponsor: Joseph May
10-14-2019
Lost and hungry, the sign: "Fresh fruit and honey".
Do I buy a jar out of charity and test the fates?
Country stores are notorious for not throwing anything away.
I picked up a dusty jar and held it to the light.
To see if anything was on the rot or even alive.
It was off color, so I bought a gnome and some socks
I put the dirty honey back on the dusty shelf
and bid farewell to Mom and Pops.
Remember when summers were fun?
When the days were long and you were gone
From just after dawn 'till the setting sun
Remember when summers were fun
When you didn't go to work or to school
When you hung out with your buddies at the local pool
Remember when summers were fun
When you played baseball for hours and hours on end
When Mom couldn't track you, couldn't text messages send
Remember when summers were fun
When you teased the girls, before you first noticed their curves
When you played daredevil on your bike, stunts of steel nerves
Remember when summers were fun
When in one giant gulp you downed an ice-cold coke
When no one was offended by an off-color joke
Remember when summers were fun
Well, if you do, you may be the only one
Because those kind of summers are finished and done
Can't make me love you less than vapor’s cloud spins pillowed nest,
Or star condemns implosion that brings elements to life!
Should your love find a treasured home in someone else's chest,
Will nature shrug off color if, at last, you're not my wife?
A rainbow’s curving beauty signals flooding won’t return,
And how much more do seasons offer hope that comes in Spring,
All blossoming in seed’s rebirth! It’s wrong that lovers yearn
For seasons change? Though flowers fade, may vines yet find a string.
My poem’s not a fragile path or breadcrumbs on the ground,
That worms devour or leaves obscure, its music’s waves move air
That carries birdsong, rhyme as well. I pray its Truth’s not drowned!
Oh, let all magic conjured up, serve faith, that none forswear!
Though boundaries restrain us all, let metered verse contest
The limits poets buy into, imaginations soar
Through dark fields, photons race to plumb! Let no muse be depressed
By wagging tongue or sullied rhyme, man’s future’s just one door!
Brian Johnston
25th of April in 2019
My muse today sends me to
a curious debate
Who decided naughty words
were naughty, who’s dictate?
Why only four letter words
And why not five or more
It would still be cursing
With a longer word, for sure
Wouldn’t the off color word
(It rhymes with sit), it’s smelly
Be just as effective, saying
I don’t give a snelly!
Why can’t snelly be the word?
Would that not work for you?
And why are bad words, bad at all,
I’ve got snelly on my shoe!!
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