we never get a card
we fight over who gets to open it
my husband and I stare at each other
who are they? I ask him
He does not know either
It is a Happy Thanksgiving card
from the Turkey Family
I am not lying
That’s how they signed it
We look at the envelope
Oops
It was delivered to the wrong address
My husband and I
now own an adjustable bed.
It lifts about 90 degrees at the head
and 40 degrees at the foot.
An incredible invention except that
my husband likes it low, and I do not.
Our compromise isn’t to my liking!
Our mattress is California King -
72 inches wide and 84 inches long.
It provides roomy comfort for us and our pets,
yet without fail, my spouse
ends up sleeping on my side of the bed
facing me in the fetal position.
Opposites always, I sleep on my right side
and he sleeps on his left.
The cat, when it is there at all,
sleeps often at my feet.
Unequal is our bed’s positional balance
as I lie sometimes precariously on the edge
wishing for a separate bed – a queen size fit for me.
I am clairaudient; I hear spirit
Usually a man, but sometimes I cannot tell
I have never heard a woman
Being clairvoyant, I sense my mother-in-law though
She can operate like a poltergeist
slamming the kitchen cupboards to make a point
My husband and I both heard her do that once.
“It’s my mother,” he told me.
If he had not said that I would not have known who it was.
My blood stopped running at the time.
I thought an intruder was in the house.
“She did not like my tone with you,” he told me.
His mother always loved me the best.
Falling in the arms of the angels, a good Samaritan, and my spouse;
God saw my d o w n f a l l. He saw to it.
Ribs bruised on the inside, but nothing else.
n o t h I n g e l s e.
My face was surrounded by my jacket hood; black,
as night. I was stunned; couldn’t get a look at his face.
He was not an intruder; moved on, as fast as he brought me
to my feet - I was left with just my concerned husband
and the astonishment of a return to our travels.
My husband, and I, came face to face with the Good Samaritan
on Dürerstrasse and on the Städel Museum wall.
Falling in the arms of the angels, a good Samaritan, and my spouse.
my husband and I love chicken beasts
he likes his baked regular recipe
If I ate the coating, I would want crispy
but I am dieting, so I tear off the coating for the dogs
my children only eat chicken legs
I have a twin who eats wings
we throw them out
our family is unnaturally prejudiced about our chicken preferences
"Yellow is a bright and fun color to enjoy." By Poet
My husband and I met,
many years ago.
After writing weeks of letters,
he was coming to visit me for a few days.
Yellow was my then boyfriend's favorite color,
I was going to be a fun surprise for him.
The engines of the airplanes roared,
just like my nervous stomach.
I was dressed in all yellow from head to toe,
looking like a big bee with a huge smile.
When he got off the airplane,
he said, "you look breathless."
Then we both laughed until we cried,
I may have looked stupid but he loved it.
I chose this moment because it set the stage for our life together. He was coming to see me. We had first met a few weeks before. I wanted to impress him. Knowing yellow was his favorite color, I knew I would be in yellow. I went to many stores finding yellow from a head scarf to shoes. Every line was easy to write because it was a fun part of our life. I removed the part about him staying with my girlfriend and her husband because it was not about yellow or the airport. To this day, we still laugh about this airport meeting.
Next to our car is a mountain of snow,
Which has frozen as hard as a rock.
Ours isn’t the only one locked in, although
It’s the worst one around the whole block.
We’re parked on the side where the plows seemed to push
All the snow that was blocking the street
And because of the freeze, what should turn into mush
Has instead made our blockade complete.
We have nowhere to go and can get to the train
When we need to help out with the grands,
So on 89th Street, our poor car will remain
For as long as the weather demands.
We’ve been through this before, but it’s been a few years
Since we’ve dealt with both snow and such cold
And my husband and I, plus our car, it appears,
Feel the mileage we’ve gained taking hold.
My husband and I are retired;
Our car is an old Subaru.
Our lifestyle has never required
A trade-in for cars that are new.
As long as the engine is running,
To get from Point A to Point B,
A late model we will be shunning,
No fobs for my husband or me.
Yet circumstance somehow conspired,
With mileage and tread in the mix,
That our car will, like us, be re-tired,
So together, we’ll have our last licks!
I met angels on Ormand Beach. It was at the end of a long week and a large drink we’d called Screaming Jesus—vodka, grape soda, and stalks of rosemary. My husband and I were dug in near a sandcastle collapsing—our marriage spread as thin as sunscreen, when legions of seraphim appeared between the loamy, gray-brown waves. They murmured phrases neither of us understood—still don't. But we joke about how much DNA we left in that hotel room, the sun-blistered skins we shed, our discarded selves hoovered up by housekeeping, buried in an anonymous Florida landfill. Believe me, or don’t, I’ll never forget the sage of those graygolden halos—rusted-silver carabiners secured to spikes, driven into the hands of heaven.
creeping thyme
perennial landscape—
innocent as grass
my husband and I have a ridiculous amount of inside jokes
Because we have been together for fifty-some years
If one of us says “dismount” the argument is over.
If we say “dad says,” the connotation is understood immediately.
“mom does not like your tone,” means be nicer.
we can finish each other’s sentences too, and often do.
“we are redundant” is one of our favorite jokes.
our best friends are dogs
my husband and I
they sleep like logs
not even a sigh
they consume like hogs
roll in the mud too
They are loved so much
Buddy, Beau and Blue
the remote to our TV disappeared last night
my husband and I checked both sides of our chairs
the table, a shelf, the floor, a shoe, the garbage can
My husband asked “do you think Beau has it?”
“Not a chance,” I told him “we would hear him chewing it”.
We turned on the lights and tore the living room apart.
Moved the couch and both recliners.
Put our hands down the recliners three or four more times.
“Your mom’s birthday is tomorrow,” I said “do you think it is her saying hello?”
His mother has been gone twenty years, but this felt like spirit playing tricks.
We already lost one remote to this machine and it was never found.
I will not be surprised if it is sitting here next to our chairs tomorrow.
I was wrong.
It was sitting on the chair in the morning.
the dogs seemed confused
We had taken Sophie with us
She was their old queen
feisty, grouchy, throwing out edicts
where is she? They asked us with their dog eyes
What did you do with her? They accused us.
We were already hurting; Sophie’s stroke had taken the energy out of us.
My husband and I were quiet for several days, hurting separately.
Our dogs are not cattle here, they are family members.
the dogs searched for Sophie until they found her.
We both knew she was still here.
I sensed her on the bed.
The bed went down in the small of my back.
As it always had when she was here physically.
The difference is, now she is here in spirit.
Our dogs always sense her first.
THE SEVERE IDENTITY THEFT UPON MYAMERICAN FAMILY JAY TOWNSEND JOHNSON HENRY HOME INVASIONS 2003 SEARCHING FOR MILITARY PASSPORTS SHOT RECORDS IDENTIFICATION CARDS KNIGHTS OF COLUMBUS BADGES MORTAGE MEDICAL DOCUMENTS FOR HER CRIMINAL GROUP OF ILLEGAL IMMAGRANTS FALSIFYING MARRIAGE BIRTH CERTIFICATES FOR THE MANY MEMBERS OF GARGANO STABLE OF TWISTED FEMALE IDENTITY THIEVES HOME INVASIONS BREAK INS HACKING INTO OUR LIVES MAIL FRAUD WIRE FRAUD INSURANCE FRAUD TRICKLING DOWN THROUGH CANADA JAMAICA MEXICO AUSTRALIA ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS ATTEMPTS USING MY IDENTITY IN ORDER TO ENTER AMERICA FALSIFYING DOCUMENTS TO WORK ILLEGALLY IN AMERICA LAWN SERVICE ILLEGAL CONTRACTS TRULY SAD BEWARE OF THESE CRIMINAL GROUPS BREAKING INTO HOMES FOR DOCUMENTS TO FALSIFY TO ALLOW CRIMINALS IDENTITY FRAUD TO STAY IN AMERICA SORRY J2 ACN LEAVE MY AMERICAN FAMILY ALONE MY HUSBAND AND I SURVIVED THIS HORRID WRATH IN AMERICA IN WHICH I REPORTED TO THE FBI 2003 IMMIGRANTS JAMAICAN FEMALES ARRIVED WITH A GUNMAN TO MURDER ME 23 YEARS LATER THEY RETURNED SHOOTING MY PLANTS THREATENED MY NEW HUSBAND AND I INTIMIDATING IMPERSONATING OUR IDENTITIES INVADING ICE WITH IDENTITY FRAUD
stop feeding your puppy people food, the vet said.
My husband and I are both worthy liars; we agree.
Neither of us planning to keeping to this promise.
Our puppy loves people food.
Today I sneaked him pepper jack cheese, eggs, tomatoes and corn chips.
I saw my husband throw him salami, bacon and ham.
And it is not yet two p.m.
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