PMs come and go, face dissent,
Resident am I permanent.
To doddle all the time
My duty is in prime,
Seven PMs came here and went
In fifteen years I came
What a chair changing game!
As Chief Mouser I’m a lifelong tenant.
___________________________
Happenings |14.07.2026 |14.07.2026 | cat, humour, political, satire, Limerick
Note: British prime ministers can learn a trick or two from the resident cat who has been there at Ten Downing Street ever since 2015 as ‘Chief Mouser to the Cabinet Office’. This limerick is set in his words.
Tuxiwoo
and Cheriboo
kissed pink noses
amid the posies
of magic dreams
cast by moonbeams.
On the prowl
for guinea fowl
stalked a mate
matted and late.
His name was Mouser
a Bond cat Scouser.
large cat of my dreams
powerfully majestic
terrific mouser
The cat had caught the mouse some while ago
a stealthy stalk, a pounce, a single blow
not fatal, for now, the cat would need take joy;
and ease the tiresome day with this new toy.
Feigned indifference, a chance escape, a catch;
oh, silly mouse, for cat you are no match.
Cat cleans a paw, other on the mouse's tail
which will wiggle, struggle, all to no avail.
The feline foe lays on back; without a care
begins to throw the mouse into the air
until even this fun bores our mouser so
and now decides, the mouse he has to go.
The little mouse is shaking, waiting there
the cat humps up her ginger derriere:
a sudden mighty swoosh, a flash of grey;
the mouse looks up and quickly runs away.
The raptor's silent wings to distance flies
accompanied by our moggy's plaintiff cries.
There once was a sickly blue jay named blue
He was struggling with the dreaded bird flu
He loved to dance and sing
And a crowd it would bring
Until he " achoo-ed", his fans then flew
There once was a picky beaver named Bob
Always searching to find the perfect log
Chewed many trees as he could,
Toppled piles of rotted wood
Until the huge wood pile dried up his bog
Fred adopted a new cat to kill mice
And thought new cat mouser Sam would suffice
When the first mouse appeared
He saw Sam run off scared
Then he knew why Sam was so cheaply priced
Leroy was a young owl who could not hoot
Luckily he was talented and cute
But at nighttime his new song
Sounded whimsically wrong
When he resorted to playing a flute
One day while cleaning inside my flat,
I screamed upon seeing a horrid rat.
I needed a mouser. While thinking of that,
in front of me there appeared a large cat
as if out of nowhere! Imagine that.
He found the huge rat, then caught it and spat
its dead head and body onto my mat.
Gobsmacked was I when he asked, “Wanna chat?
I’m Merlin. Unlike the Cat in the Hat,
my magic is "meow -good". I’m never a brat!”
Oct. 17, 2022
for Mystic Rose Rose's Merlin The Magic Cat Poetry Contest
Dark coal mouser’s prowl
in blue moon haunt, spooky screech
poor thing sees a ghost
Posted : April 5th 2022
A DUCK CALLED OLIVER
‘Twas I a lucky boy that be,
Who lived back in a time?
Of peaceful calm,
Way back then
Suburban farm
Acre of scrub and bush
Outskirts of the city be.
Animals on daily basis so
Time for there to feed
“MOOK” our milking cow to milk,
Chooks “BETTY, PAULA and MAGGIE MAY”
Eggs a collecting every day,
Olde cat “MIDNIGHT” great mouser she is.
And her kittens small
Always there to be given away,
Our faithful dog
Who was christened as a pup “OLE RED”
Really was a one of kind.
But who could ever forget
Our duck called “OLIVER!”
Who came to us at sibling size?
Then grew and grew
Pet of great to have around
Became a watchdog so
Quacking, quacking and more quacking
Whenever or whenever
An intruder round and about
Our homestead home,
But now as I look back,
Memories of a wonderful past
In a time of peaceful calm,
Our suburban farm
You know it’s gone and no longer there,
But who’d ever forget
A duck
That we of the brood
Nicknamed her as “OLIVER!”
Francis Cooper - Mac Copyright 2018
Whilst I stand munching oats and fresh hay
Kitty visits, she’s my special friend
If she proffers a mouse I’ll say neigh
as a mouser kitty’s a godsend!
Kitty visits, she’s my special friend
I look forward to see her each day
As a mouser kitty’s a godsend
I enjoy watching my friend at play
I look forward to see her each day
on my company she can depend
I enjoy watching my friend at play
Kitty chases mice right to the end
On my company she can depend
If she proffers a mouse I’ll say neigh
Kitty chases mice right to the end
whilst I stand munching oats and fresh hay
Pantoum Rhyme - Personification Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Eve Roper
Checked with how many syllables - 9 per line, and rhymezone
Image 2 used
04/19/20
You have the hysterical look of mutes
that roar through narrow straws.
I see in your yellow eyes – a Jules Verne winking moon.
Soon that ribbed pink cave will release
another flock of demented coots
hacked from the craw of an ancient macaw.
Soon the whip of your vocal squawks
will pluck my eyes from their trembling stalks.
Maine Coon, part Persian, part whiskery herring,
grimalkin mouser,
I love you not when you sing.
Verne goes to the movies, a flickering French theater
of painted malarkey, where mice threaten to Can-Can.
Buck Rodgers shoots rays of hyperbolic sound
from the open nozzle of your mouth.
The Mouser
I friend of mine has an old moggy she says
help her to write successful books about suburban life,
big gardens and flowers; envious I tried to find
A cat had seen one outside the apartment building.
grabbed it and scratched but when I hit the pus
over the head with a stone until it lies still in my hands.
Next morning I fed it and gave it water the tabby had
left a pile on my Persian rug, while cleaning the mess
The feline sent an email to the protection of animals
and signed it with a paw, this incensed me so much
I threw the cat out.
A knock on my door it was the cat people about an email
I have no cat; they sniffed around not convinced, left.
In the evening a scratching on my door I knew it was
the bloody moggy, people knock on doors, opened it
slightly told it to off, you said on me!
The cat said it was hungry and had nowhere to sleep,
but shut the door in its face I heard it take the lift down.
Next day I found the cat sleeping in a card box in
the garage I reversed the car to scare it, but it ran out
spat: “I will report you, you heartless brute.”
there once was a stray shelter cat named Capone
adopted to kill all the mice in his home
a mouser they said
his owner misled
he just played with all the mice and let them roam
9/1/18
Any Animal or Creature Limerick Poetry Contest
Sponsor: Charles Messina
In our world technological,
Here's how to talk to gadgets digital,
"Now listen up, keyboard and router,
Not to mention dysfunctional mouser....
Are you listening carefully to me?
(I am talking to them, but silently),
I do have replacements for each of thee,
I see a future ahead of you three,
Tossed into the gaping jaws of a bin,
off to the council tip, repository of sin,
Did you hear that? Listening in,
Stop trying to do my head in!"
Now they're behaving dutifully,
Technology responding beautifully,
"I'm warning each one of thee,
No more messing around with me!"
Yes, how to talk to technology!
(But make sure you do it silently!).
swift, creeping cat, bellying
lightlessly across
the backyards by night
a Cimmerian shadow with dun
short-haired quickness
not
so easily
caught
along the mottled sidewalk
the bounds of the city blocks, cast slight
beneath the dappling yellow of the
street lamps
a coloring
almost unseen ( for its own sake,
unseen )
a feline faith
dining on mice heads and rape wine, and
long adapting
daydreams
desire but bits and baubles of unfettered
fate
free and stupid to winnow its own blue
ambit and way, its own quirky
arc
blue guitars tuned with cat gut, oh
strings of mouser stomachs and bladders
twisted, tight weaves to
seized and
plucked
notes
( by fingers that once strung the
bow )
The Grimalkin
I had a black cat with a white chest, a beautiful tabby that slept
every day on my sofa. I went on a week´s winter holiday, and left
it snoozing, there was a cat flap and it could get out and find food
for itself, usually by meowing outside peoples kitchens.
When I came back the mouser was still sleeping, I thought it was
the long sleep so I put the cat in a shoe box and put it on top of
the fire, a sort of pyre. Moggy jumped out of the box its tail afire,
through the flap fled and stuck its tail in a snow drift.
The malkin lives in the woods wishes it were a jaguar, kill things that
is of lesser size then itself, but it never comes near the houses.
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