Mortician Poems | Examples


Six Feet Under

Where there's a will
there's a funeral
death is a fact of life
a grave undertaking
for a mortician
and one day some day
you and I
will wake up dead
hopefully the lifetime led
was of our own making
too late for looking back
no regrets and yet
it's appalling
when we wind up
in a winding sheet
waiting on that beir
aside from six feet under
where do we go
from here?
Some say, 'Heaven,'
some say, 'Hell,' oh well,
by then our goose is cooked, wagon fixed,
and we'll never know 'til it's too late
as they've punched our ticket,
cleaned our clock and wiped our slate.
Form: Rhyme

Gun Salute To Mortician

Much finer than she was battling with death, 
Nicer than when she had survivor’s breath
Returned to her hurt face the freshest health;
Like one who’d begun anew to test wealth…

Twenty-One Gun Salute to Mortician: 
For Morticians I’d turn a musician
In all my songs rank one Perfect Magician; 
I wouldn’t trouble the word ‘Beautician’…

Then, cash does motivate a last wonder:
Her husband had for this sold his Honda
To delay one’s commitment Real Blunder
In death you still tore loved one asunder…
Form: Rhyme


Frowning Corpse To Start Smiling

Ahead of a just fixed funeral
He'd started counting its numeral:
Negotiator of the fairest price.
For twenty five bags of Thailand Rice...

Negotiator meets, too, Mortician
And relates to him as Beautician:
One is as good as partaker,
Who goes around as undertaker
"Well, he's for badly frowning corpses
Owners pay thousands for cleaned lapses".

Man wants his wife's corpse to start smiling;
If this can't be time away whiling.
If possible her lips archly grinning:
Guests sometimes cough for face in linen...

The discussions he will not linger,
Mortician to at price point finger...

All corpses have interest to protect,
Job of the living to them detect.
Form: Rhyme

Maybe Mortician and Politican Are Ammunition

maybe mortician 
as well as politician
are ammunition

destruction at lid
accurately measure grid
of things we forbid

when we will mingle
those with disease out single
should see my shingle

real quiet and cute
she has learned how to commute
is not destitute

we must invade scene
need an airborne vaccine
for each king and queen

should fear sin and lust
or hang head in disgust
in God always trust

what was on my mind
things must know about spirit
cause inspiration

we must make ends meet
with God overcame defeat
helps us to compete
Form: Haiku

More Tally Tea

Our morticians are thanking their god
For a year where they all earned a wad
Though some were burnt
Many more weren't
Still, their best work lies under the sod!
Form: Limerick


Premium Member All Hail the Village Mortician

All hail the village mortician
  his bearing, proper patrician

Sterling the gent's reputation
  throughout his chosen vocation

A man of dignity and reserve
  whose stare can a ghost unnerve

Frankly, he makes me quite nervous
  though one day I'll be needing his service
Form: Couplet

Premium Member Creepo Mortician Who Loved the Graveyard Shift

The lighting - it was over-bright
above the table where she lay,
her skin dead cold but lovely white.
The lighting -it was over-bright,
He loved work best alone at night.
With corpses he could have his way.
The lighting - it was over-bright
above the table where she lay.

Written June 19, 2016
Form: Triolet

Premium Member Mortician

======================

The lighting, it was over-bright
She seemed to merely be at rest

I'd made her up just right despite
the lighting (it was over-bright!)

When caught in a carress, one might
need not confess but ought suggest

the lighting. It was over-bright
...She seemed to merely be at rest

======================
Form: Triolet

Premium Member Secret of the Mortician

The Secret of the Mortician

Dead, but I got eyes
Prepares my body at the morgue
Opens the chest
Drains the blood from its nudity
Admires my body before it decays

After The process of embalming
His hands run all over
I'm still dead
He's satisfied

The next day 
Writes an outstanding obituary 
I sit on display

~SKAT~
Form: Verse

The Creepy Mortician

Nightly in the mirror she would stare, 
and pull out clumps of her own hair.
Wigs she wore during the day,
while doing things her way.

Neighbors said the way she walked, 
the way she talked was very creepy.
For quite some time she was able to maintain,
the fact that she was slowly going insane.

People did notice when she made the dead look like a clown.
Someone called for the cops to come around.
On the bus she was caught trying to leave town.
Now, she is in the nut house a total lock down.

In therapy it was found that as a child 
after her mother had passed, 
she saw her dad having intimate times with the dead.
After he passed she took over the funeral business with dread.

Over time it drove her mad, 
and she began to act like her dad.
After she heard voices in her head.
She would wake up next to the dead.
Form: Rhyme

Premium Member My Local Mortician

"I tie the shoelaces together on my dead," says my local mortician, 
"because if a zombie apocalypse were ever to happen,
 it will most certainly be an hilarious situation."
Form: Rhyme

The Mortician

So, this is it then, no Borealis
How abysmal the beginning is
After that climax of wondering
Comes just this, this replica.

Thoughts keep me company, still yet
Make all the memories go, go, go!
Incessant replays with constant reverb
Strike the fork and see where it bounces

I think my skin is gone now, mostly
Still I feel it crawling not away but towards
I’m not alone in this carcass, but who, what
Who talks to me with a steady voice , a mothers tone

Never calming, stirring up old feelings
Inertia with no stomach, spinning, blurred
STOP. Calmness, Easiness, alien
Embrace, break, let go, slip away, start over

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