I made you hate love
Were the last words you spoke
But your actions caused
Me to hate more than a burning feeling
We so easily define as love
I hated my body
For the marks you left there
Still feel permanent
Like a tattoo pen on my tainted skin
You thought of me just as a canvas
To paint your feelings, red, bleeding
Passionate
My body still feels unease
The scars
As deep as when you cut them
I bleed on others now only
The blood pours on their skin
But they can't see it
As I can
You made me hate everything
Your heart bleeds as my skin does
Unshallow wounds
Love falls like rain,
Onto my waxed face.
Blending into tears of pain,
From an unknown place.
I can’t think straight,
I can’t see clearly,
I can’t love anymore.
My sight blurred from burning,
Spits of acidic fear that hide in my facade.
My stomach churns; flipping and turning,
On the icy disregard.
Why I can’t I find help
In anywhere I seek?
The cry of a dozen friends stifled out
By the downpour of the weak.
I slip in weeping puddles,
That line the mirthless floor:
Singing double, double toil and trouble,
A chant I’ve heard before.
The scores of a thousands follies
Shriek the scores of isolation.
How can I live when
A simple rain does drown me out?
So I shall lift my hood,
And hide from the stormy water.
Wishing my life would
Soon become shorter.
Salacious, sultry
Simplistic signs of
Seedy sensory
Semi sentimental sales on
Socials
Surreptitiously
Slinking ..
Slowly
Sliding into your
Sphere and
Psyche.
Psychologically
Seducing
Some senses so
Suspiciously
Satisfying
So,
Surrender self;
Shield for safety,
Stand strong
Secure salient sentience
Successfully
Set sights solidly -
So soul secures solidarity
In sacred sanctuary of
Shalom
Somewhere,
Sandy sunsets certainly save,
Silky spider's web sparkles in sunshine,
Soft sensory surroundings subdue
Significant silent scenery in
Summery satisfaction.
Soporific seaside sounds
Singing in sympathy
Solitary safe sanctuary of seduction
Saving soul's sanity.
Selah.
Slowly, so slowly..
Spirituality of the natural
Nestles into the nape of
Normality
Now knowing
Nature's notably neutralising
Nurturing
Nourishment nectar of
Never-ending
Nirvana
The storm clouds are forming they darkene the
Sky's
Like the anger inside when you tell me your lies.
You give no excuse you just laugh in my face
I know you do love me too you I'm a disgrace.
Whispering on phone calls secret message you
Read.
My worlds falling apart you make my heart bleed.
If you don't want me please let me know.
I will pack up my broken heart and then I will go.
If I took my heart out of its cage
you would think: "ah offal, just meat,
fresh blood if I eat it quickly."
.
Crazily, you call 'need' love,
you're crazed, heartless,
a cannibal, a crippled dog
baying at a savage moon.
Limp tongues turn to syrup eventually.
Clearly these bodies are ravaged temples,
apes howl about its holy alter.
And yet, cherries are flesh,
their sweetness is in the hunger.
I drink and remember your face,
it is a landslip,
pushed by one iron gray hair.
We are mad, madly unhitched,
we hang from a mirage of love,
dangle from its limp sinews,
lips puckered,
ever willing to name
the unnamable, what it is not.
Can you love and not love someone at the same time?
The mortals will answer in the positive that you can
So if that is indeed the truth
Then is that how I feel for you?
I did love you at some point in our lives
When I fell for you I don't know
But I know one fact to be the absolute truth
You were indeed the best thing to happen to me
Words become meaningless when attempting to express my gratitude to you
But I'm not allowed to even start to hate you
You may be wondering why the case
It's because of the past that we shared
Our past… it wasn't hm I'm uncertain as to how to describe it
It was something that for sure
We saved each other countless times, didn't we?
Whatever it was from our so-called friends or ourselves
That is why I love you and don't at the same time
I hope you understand
Sitting here in this dark room
Here we're all darkness rules
There over by the shoe rack
Is the reality clear and stark
That I will never be loved
Nor will I be gentle as a dove
I've lost my book through and my father's wife
There is no compassion present in my life
I am forever maltreated fearlessly
And hate rules my life dominantly
This building cannot be called a home
And mine is forever a hopeless dome
And now I am forever helpless
Never to be loved for I am loveless
Alone in the park,
Heart still in the dark.
Turned a quick glance,
At her magnetic stance.
She was purring like a kitten,
I was instantly smitten.
Her soft perfumed hair,
Lingered in the air.
Lacking all shame,
I took steady aim.
Slinging Cupid's arrow,
With tip sharp and narrow.
Disgusted, she turned away;
As my shaft went astray.
Romance is wearing thin,
And I'm alone once again.
Now I know my problem, I love too hard and fall too hard,
Men of my past have told me, Iam too much,
That I deserve better than what they have,
Iam crushed by these words everytime,
Misconceptions of my mind leave me restless,
Questions of why Iam loveless,
Questions of why I say yes and end up being a broken mess,
Now I know my problem, I love too hard and fall too hard,
I cannot be loved up close only from afar.
I came into the world naked
Defenseless and helpless
Poor and up against a loveless world
I gave my soul to the devil
In the quest for silver and gold
And now eternal damnation stares me in the face
What is the essence of life anyway?
To serve my creator and live hereafter
I can never be richer at death
Than I was at birth
Naked I came from the womb
Naked I shall return to dust
Mundane possessions
Pale into insignificance
Little woman where you come from
With your almond eyes and your bronze skin
Silken and in your blackened hair
You curl up in a nesting square
Little woman what have you now
Where is your heart where are your vows
Do you sleep in danger of the nightmare that enables
Where is your king and why aren't you Queen
Little brown girl here in entrapment dazed glazed a human captive
In loveless prison in the failures of man
the one you have chosen little woman
You're extranged little woman where is your flame
Lo, as I call out your name your love is distained
2/25/22
Written words by James Edward Lee Sr ©2022
Loveless like a salt lake
or a dry thunder making a
big fuss about its
potential, loveless like an
inflated ego that pumps its
chest with
empty air, loveless like rain
that drops to kiss the lake
goodbye, salt upon salt.
Today I will sit and cry
For the wasted chance you let slip by
For all the games you had to play
For every moment you pushed me away.
For all the sleepless long hard nights
For all the second guessing plights
For all the doubts you placed in my head
For all the times I wished I was dead
For every single day gone by
For every time you made me cry
Today I take back myself
Stop living in a loveless hell
Had I those depths that elsewhere thrive,
Swiftly I’d into your blissful fathoms dive;
And bid old pangs on the loveless shore
Eternal bye as I toe and hair slink below.
Breathlessly I’d raptured sink down till
Heart and mind grow all mute and still;
And yet explore your depths’ fairer find
By dainty dints of amorous ions twined.
I’d not satisfied yield to early pleasures
That delude shallower ocean creatures;
Deeper yet would my rapt cruising go,
Farther byeing old pangs of the shore.
If transient blisses be earlier found
In my fishy drifts downward bound,
Savor them I may but further glide
Beyond easy pies Romeos deride.
At last methinks I should espy
Your ocean’s bed before I die;
And even if not I must for now
Sink yet for deeper feel below.
EVEN when you're alone
THOUGH still you're able to find affection
I'M unable to make any romantic connection
IN the flooded pools of overwhelming adoration
LOVE stumbles along blind
WITH timid approach of finding
YOU with a heart longing for just the same
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