Long Whacking Poems

Reaping short terms benefits...

before marital savings bond matured
as a then quinquagenarian.

Courtesy gerontologists medical practitioners
allowing, enabling, and providing
the elderly population to live
longer and healthier lives.

Linkedin with longevity loosely translates
to resurgent libido spurring
older folks predilection
to participate in...

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What are the odds that either Democratic or Republican leaders
will ever again remember how to host 
a health and wellness party?

Imagine these invitations we receive:
Dear Ms. Democrat,
Dear Mr. Republican,
Please come to our Leadership Party,
to primarily...

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Espousing irreverent greed

Crafted one year ago today
yours truly – hopefully self plagiarism okay
worse case scenario, 
I would meet ill fate re: kenway
named after Assassin Creed 
Black Flag's protagonist. 

"Yo, I totally Kenwayed that guy." 
by...

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Espousing irreverent greed

Passive stance, but aye agreed
and did promise to pledge troth
faster than greased lightning airspeed
once the missus temporarily
ceased menarche regarding monthly bleed
became in family way with child
thee eldest, whom one day may breed,
when permanently...

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Horror squeezes my chest like pliers on a straw ...
There - out there in the black,
Something moved ... again ...
Just briefly, a flash of pale in the ink,

But enough so I knew it was real.
I...

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Inapropos trois faux pas jokingly blurted out...

yesterday August 30th, 2022.

The following fictitious account
predicated upon words spilling
out me mouth before taking time
to think through how sarcastic remark
would affect primary listener.

Comments about marital matters
particularly ours (yours truly...

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The missus pounded mine posterior...
causing percussive rumpus 
to vibrate like jelly

Me experienced quite disruptive sleep
(quite early in the morning 
of November 10th 2022 -
no shut eye could I keep),
hence though exhausted, I share
childlike trait of...

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Then I heard her footstep getting closer.

READER BEWARE DESCRIPTIVE VIOLENCE FOLLOWS

This time she picked me up by my throat and pined me up the wall,
screaming at me, finger in my face while smashing my head...

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While attempting going to sleep after midnight...

December 27th, 2023,
the missus pounded mine posterior
(she played paddywhack 
on me blimey buttucks)
not only causing contusion, 
but flaying percussive rumpus, 
where the wild things are
found yours truly feeling
like a...

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Within the glass backed walls of the  squash courts, ....

Eager junior players are busy getting into their strides..
In small groups of 4 to 6, they are seeking to earn their stripes..
Religiously undergoing punishing ...

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I AM AMERICAN I WILL NEVER FEAR DOMESTIC TERRORISTS COMMITING SEVERE IDENTITY FRAUD AGAINST ME RECIEVING ANNUITY PAYMENTS ON MY BEHALF IN MICHIGAN SEVERE IDENTITY FRAUD ACTUALLY RECIEVING DISABILTY PAYMENTS ON MY BEHALF WITH PETER...

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I AM AMERICAN I WILL NEVER FEAR DOMESTIC TERRORISTS COMMITING SEVERE IDENTITY FRAUD AGAINST ME RECIEVING ANNUITY PAYMENTS ON MY BEHALF IN MICHIGAN SEVERE IDENTITY FRAUD ACTUALLY RECIEVING DISABILTY PAYMENTS O. MY BEHALF WITH PETER...

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There was a knight with locks that were golden 
Protecting a kingdom in threat of folding 
King and his trusting mighty duck 
Caring only for the almighty buck 
From the north 
Sharks were present for...

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(Note- Based on the story of a friend of mine)
There are TWO PARTS to this. The second one is here- https://www.poetrysoup.com/poem/the_pen_lives_on_part_2_876105 . Since I can't enter the contest this was originally written for twice and...

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(Internal Rhyme)

Dreary was upon the time, as wearily I lived from my mind,

Sad when I was a lad, was mad contrary to current fad!

These are reflections of no relief, as all rejections kick at teeth,

Lad...

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October is Dancing 
she is a trap of joy for a mark
to those tunes tapping on line
stepping out in her black
before the white for a remark
for the dance shoes redefine
the effect of all the months...

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The missus pounded mine posterior...
causing percussive rumpus

Meanwhile good n plenty vibrations resonated
felt and heard round the world wide web
(strongest quaking sensations
occurred upon double mattresses atop bed
within apartment unit b44
2 Highland Manor Drive),

but woody d'ya believe
drumming,...

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Twelve rounds of excitement
Two rivals smiling in the middle of enchantment

The bell rang...
Both fighters were wild
Two rough hands still mild
The bell rang again -- end of first round.

Second round...
Gaiting horses, eluding kicks and punches
Baiting bodies,...

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Aye agreed
and did promise to pledge troth
faster than greased lightning airspeed
once the missus temporarily
ceased menarche regarding monthly bleed
became in family way with child

thee eldest, whom one day may breed
opting out begetting offspring
later versus schooner, I...

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An Ancient crazy Ox, 
Once had a whacking job,
Breaking on the dance floor,
One too many holes to show!
 
A sleepy grizzly bear on four,
Drinking ale with a drunkard 
boar,
On board a rocking Boat with 
one...

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He raises his charmed-horn frost-cup                              ...

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To God I am thankful for many gifts;
But none more than a creative mind,
And the hands which are the finest tool,
With abilities to create that I easily can find.

As a child I first learned to...

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Parting my curtains that bright sunny morning
I took in the garden, my mood took a hit
My facial twitch surfaced again without warning
My lawn had acquired a nocturnal zit

They don’t stop at one: No, lots more...

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Raining cats and dogs, we didn’t want to get wet through
We dashed to the bus stop, to shelter as you do

There we huddled under the shelter as a cosy retreat
But a storm was brewing right...

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It's been difficult for us all
Being restricted isn't cool
Especially for children
Who would rather be at school

You can do this
But you can't do that
You can't touch or cuddle
Or even pat

The dog looks grumpy
The cat forlorn
Dad's in...

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