Long Urinal Poems

Goodbye and good riddance 2023

Commencement writing this poem
began December 31st: 2:24 PM
ended December 31st: 03:53 PM.

The best geriatric effort I apply
twittering, ushering, and 
albeit wheezing Auld Lang Syne
crocodile done deed tear 
will yours truly cry
bidding,...

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Smelly Stuff Absorbed 

There are many words for those excrements that appear on the fabric in
incremental solid and deliquescent motions because ingestion fulfils that
autonomous need to shed ablutions but here I declare ‘Waste not Want...

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I looked into the mirror and this is what I saw
Overweight, bloated and extremely out of shape
Put me in a purple shirt
And I'd look just like a grape
The time had come to buckle down
It was...

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"Will there be a need for a throne;
To sit on
In heaven
Fecal matter will it matter
Will we eat and consume manna foods
And do angels discharge sweat and waste
Oh! Are there need for thrones in heaven?
lavatory
bathroom
facilities
urinal
privy
latrine
outhouse
WC
water closet
public...

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when Animal Farm is not a feeding manual

and Clockwork Orange strikes at midnight

Dali’s time piece warps under face value

and an eagle-eyed-cuckoo flies over its nest


beneath the cover of cotton candy clouds

she relieves herself into Magritte’s...

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Crackling tension filled the community hall in Abergavenny 

‘We are in this together dear folks for a pound or a penny’

Speaking of which the loos were situated right behind the bar

To ensure that urinal relief...

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Commencement writing this poem
began December 24th: 08:04:03 PM
ended December 24th: 09:23:17 PM.

Soon Auld Lang Syne
sung bidding goodbye
adieu two thousand nineteen
uttered from every gal and guy
transfixing living mortals
with good cheer well nigh,
while awesome pyrotechnics
light up night...

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the personification hurts the reasoning of an untrained apophenic

cacography ensues as the computer throws a spell check wobbly

the poet scribes on because everything is not what it seems to be

clouds become animals spirits aspirations and...

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pink pims and pom poms
An alabaster in a tight fitting top cannot squeeze into a convertible Mercedes Benz as fitting a box into a circle is not a pleasantry nor a pheasant flap. Peace be...

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About Wales and Whales Tales Are Told

Heard that people in Wales are Cardifferious
And can write poems which may be carnivorous;
Water closet is bathroom maybe with a urinal
American poetry writing is often done nocturnal.

Early morning poetry...

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Permission From Poetry Soup

What we were trying to do was work out
Quirks of game and players not leaving any out
Of site or be left with too many bills outstanding
Lose site of a lead which was...

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No one questioned her presence
she was conditioned to think that she
could walk amongst Gods
she was no godd-Ess
amongst the god-Less
 
she pulled the doors of the bar towards her
the neatly, handwritten sign read: “closed”

But “she” was...

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Oklahoma just passed an executive order
About the obvious disorder
Of letting men break through the border
Called a women’s bathroom door
Which has always been there for
Keeping out men and furthermore
Those who are men no more

Oh, some may...

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Add a coin to the coin purse
It's both a blessing and a curse
Some people cry for it
And some people surely die for it
It poisons the mind
And it's how we're defined
A dash of greed, a dash...

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Someone please show us the way.
Watching this virus spread like a wild fire.
Watch the politicians argue & bicker over 
Personal desires 
While more and more peoples lives expire.
More & more each day, watch the ventilators...

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The Pollee

I guess now I have seen it all
A urinal for girls without the stall
General design? – a four prong unit
You back up girls and kind of spoon it
Don’t get the picture, here’s a teaser
It...

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kick a poet down before he or she is dead
 look at all their grammatical errors & failures
 never look at the beauty inside
 think of wrecking their charm
 take the smile away from their...

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Write some limericks using words below.
Here are some examples that I just created. 
Jim Horn

Bar Stool Had Been Destroyed

Instead of him being a drinking fool, 
Threw bar stool into swimming pool;
Now no longer here,
Or close...

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How to take a leak

Marcel felt quite an urge when he set out to purge understanding of how to when
we view misconceptions of who is taking the piss now never thereafter and then

A fountain trickling...

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Indictment

They say it’s wrong to dream in Africa,
to win your heart is to lose your way.
Jungle overgrown, government overthrown,
Europe’s long drop, urinal of the U.S.A

No one wants you there,
nobody kicks you out.
Best to be a...

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Surprise Would Not Rise

Be seen Trump does want to remain
While saying things verbally in vein
What really will make you wonder
Why our skin wants to get under.

Like old owl at night he was spotted
After bright hair...

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A VERY VAIN VINE

Twine twisted around a vine
Whilst the philodendron were doing  just fine
No weed to choke a tulip by a bud beguiled
And there were no aphids to make certain we all smiled

Laughter began...

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A VERY VAIN VINE

Twine twisted around a vine
Whilst the philodendron were doing  just fine
No weed to choke a tulip by a bud beguiled
And there were no weeds to make certain we all smiled

Laughter began...

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When Batman’s Gotta Pee


When Batman’s gotta pee,
That’s when it gets a bit tricky.
‘Cause when you’ve got on tights,
And you’re working through most nights,
FIghting crime and running ‘round,
Kinda hard when there’s no bathroom to be found.

So...

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Eden grassy walls stood stark, 
In the noble bowers, of bending day
luscious fruit-in tempestuous talk 
The inaccurate gaze led them astray.

Eve with picturesque temptress voice 
Put in Adam's mind the godly tyrant. 
Repentance implicit in...

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