Long Unnerving Poems
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A haunting past that trails behind,
An unnerving shadow that fails to blend.
The harrowing voices that curve the bend,
Sending your sanity off to the other end.
The gleaming red eyes that tend to blind,
The long veiny hands stretched out to lend.
One that offers an ironic life to bade,
The other that offers prosperity to the dead.
A single screech delivered into the calmness of the night,
Resulting in a sublimal dance with Death
in plain sight.
"I can't leave!"the woman pleads.
And then a single tear bleeds,
As she holds onto her belly like a tree nurturing Her seeds.
"Take me,but give my offspring a nourishing life to cherish!"
"Offer prosperity to the living,and allow me to perish!"
A woman's soulful cries pierce through the ears of Death,
As it transforms to a mother's fostering wreath .
"I have provided you two choices,from which you should choose,thereupon which you would decide a course:a tumultous one,or a heavenly life disclosed."
"While selecting,please do not halter,since there is nothing much you can alter."
"The life of the newborn has been sealed in its fate within the Mother's womb,and might be offered a rebirth,as inscribed in those Egyptian Tombs."
"No,it wasn't fate,it was the unlikely sequences that unfolded on this unholy date."
"My baby,my only love,had seen a bright future with him,only for his name to be now carried by a dove."
"That awful creature,that immoral creation,sped up too fast,drunk and driving,to lead to my sweet baby's cremation."
"Death,I could have chosen the crippled life,but without my baby,why live a life of pain and turmoil?"
"I henceforth would place my choice as death,Oh dear Death,I really hope you would issue a path of karma for my baby and me,unleash wrath upon that miserable creature,in the name of the trusting faith with which I abide in you."
How strange,a woman putting her trust in Death to take revenge,when every course of action is bounded by fate.Death gently smiled,as He led her by hand,to the spontaneously sparkling Heavenly gates.
And one last look around,and in the blink of an eye,the atmosphere became gloomy again,with a struggling cry.A car was found,overturned,with a man inside wrenching in agony,his futility burnt.Karma and Faith,had returned.
Convoluted; buoyant, defiant contention,
sleeps in the corridors of mind.
Dreaming of release from constricted womb,
in portraits of terror, undeserving.
Memories of ancient; promised ascension,
returning, discerning, by design.
Opens vacant eye wish; to murky clouds of doom,
suffocation; signaling, unnerving.
Father Time is tiring; musing on his throne,
queen is overdue, for a son.
Females halt the flow; murderous reprieve,
questions for the kingdom, yet unsolved.
Advisers inquiring; gathering of stone,
debating precious things with loaded gun.
Reputation swallows; reasons to conceive,
if harvest isn't held by hands of God.
I will not condone; the emperor sans his clothes;
jesters are not captured in these frames.
So the uprising; stirs a rhapsody,
genius can quell dark regression.
Tampered comfort zones; threaten to expose,
witch trials complete with charred remains.
In the downsizing of my voracity,
the fated have no time for confession.
Through much dissension; and chartered celebration,
clutching spirits huddle in the night.
Harem is debating; adorned with feathered fears,
eager whisperings exiting to pray.
Spiraled inquisition; guiding my elation,
to thwart the scheme of hallowed parasite.
The lady in waiting; not controlled by tears,
no dirges for dead offspring hold sway.
And so I writhe; thighs chained fast,
by bonds of here; now, and then.
Conceptual delight; yesterday seduced,
hearing the midwife's joyous scream.
Empty arms beckon; to be filled at last,
I drink this beauty down like sin.
Swaddled in velvet; guarded by truth,
caressed by a mother's sacred dream.
Lost in sweet illusion of tiny sapphire eyes,
measuring the wonder that I see.
So in conclusion; genderless surprise,
this child of newborn word resembles me.
“Another game?”
“Yes, I think so but let’s change
the rules. What if we create some
holes in the game, three or four
perhaps with parallel endings?”
“Yes, I think that would be fun.”
Who predetermines the rules?
What if you step over a crack in the sidewalk,
And the rules become inverted
Finding you are younger than when
You walked out the door in the morning?.
Unable to remember exactly where you are
At this moment. Unnerving. Like a giant
Pinball game, worlds flicker from one
Universe to another, bouncing off
Each other into the vast chaos
Of empty space-time. A troubling thought
When everything has to be so ordered.
Measured to an infinite set of
Rational equations that spin themselves
Out to the edges of galaxies seen from a million
Light years. Stretched taut across the sky, and
Still we expand the search.
What if there are monsters and jesters sulking
About the universe? Existing on parallel planes
Where we play out endings for their
Amusement. They move us like chess pieces
On a game board, further into the
Blackened heavens, expanding outwards and
Beyond to what we comprehend as our
Very existence. Game pieces moved
Against a clock as we wander the
Night sky to the back streets of the universe
Asking is there anyone out there?
Always the same questions,
Always with different answers.
How far is far enough? Perhaps we are
Moving on a river, afloat in endless space.
Travelers searching for the shoreline
And a place that seems vaguely familiar, trying to
Recall where we were a few moments ago.
Anything is possible. What if the journey
Takes forever? And we find ourselves standing
At the abyss of space being sucked into
One of the game’s black holes,
Able to view our beginning in our end.
A tiny speckle of an atom floating alone
In nothingness. All we have ever known
Is reconstituted in the spinning hole,
Billions of thoughts wallpapered; nothing
Ever lost. We speculate, conjuring up theories
With eloquent additions and subtractions, and all
We can do is hope for the best. A game played
Over and over, with no rules, no winner.
Hawking’s Paradox.
12/13/23
Secrets still buried
Stories in the wind got carried
Historical accounts occasionally varied
The truth can be sad and scary
We've barely
Discovered much so spare me
The same can be said for things happening fairly
Since the dawn of time it occurred rarely
Causes with a dark past humans still worshipping
The cauldron folks continue stirring
Waters people are murking
So much unknown, instead of starting to worry
I try to find answers but it can't be done in a hurry
Somewhat disturbing
And blood curdling
Could it be water that caused such a shape and curving?
This planet twirling at 1000 mph constantly whirling
Every night tossing and turning
I was hurting
My vision sometimes blurring
Minimal ground I've been traversing
This weed I'm endlessly burning
Toward a fast death I'm hurling
It's difficult to find the right wording
The cycle still circling
The truth is emerging
And surfacing
Energy dispersing
Or combining and converting
Then it starts surging
To some it's unnerving
During my time on Earth I'm searching
No matter if others are deterring
I'm still unearthing
Sometimes smirking
Nearby curbing
I'm determining
It can never be found by purchasing
It's concerning
For so long people have been serving
Evil always lurking
Showing no mercy
I'm constantly learning
During this journey
No adjourning
The hands of time turning
There's endless controversy
That's occurring
It's not always working
Such concepts use to irk me
(Birds sing above Earthlings) or (birdies chirping above earthlings)
It briefly takes the mind off the worst things
Yet I still feel like cursing
Toward no destination I've been surfing
Mind all over the place still swerving
For more I'm yearning
Something inside churning
A fool splurging
Yet again swirling down the drain go my earnings
I still can't get it right even after rehearsing
What a joke feeling like a ghost the recipient of shirking
How am I already not on a gurney?
Just a garden variety generic wordsmith
teasing out reasonable rhyme courtesy ploy;
self plagiarizing boot juiced barely abiding
by ruff dogma, with enigmatic joie
de vivre charisma,
which oft times witnessed
gentle green giant gentile goy
essentially me being a decoy
occasionally rocketing, outsourcing,
kickstarting, feigning
tubby an Anchorite, ahoy!
Life in the K9 corps
ain't so doggone ease zee
absolutely daunting, hence
lemme share with ye
haunting, and unnerving, the whee
kid nasty, short, and brutish
ways, and truth be told,
I would rather be outwardly
hidebound, gagged, and flagellated
(threatened tubby slowly
strangled to death by bonafide vee
numb muss snakes, yours truly
screaming bloody murder,
viper esse scent chilly resembling
caduceus), and/or re:
peat head lee bitten
(till death do us part)
by vampire (weekend) bats pre
dominant lee inhabiting
spooky attic, nee
above cattle crying
abattoir, bovines bull heave -
meeting grisly demise, where prowling
hoodlums - vicious murderous electric
kool aid acid tested gang
infesting mean streets -
viz hit head hay be us corpse lee
ving shot up desolation
(think skidrow) role much
more blood curdling, key
ping adrenaline heart pounding,
and sweat pouring directive hee
ping helplessness 'specially,
when this gree
gear re: us macho foo fighter,
accompanied by my grateful
dead cutting crew - on free
key Friday the 13th
assigned directive to man
the most crime ridden, and be
dev filled violent bailiwick,
donning head to toe
bulletproof suit vests.
Nevertheless, yours truly fraught with
horrendously extreme
difficulty, and more
challenging, enduring, and grueling
than surviving training
undertaking associated
with elite military clique,
and attendant rightfully
earned linkedin prestige
joining: Raiders of United
States Marine Corp,
Green Berets United States Army
Special Forces, or Navy Seals.
I saw a side of a friend
I couldn’t trust or ever mend
Behaviour so crazy
it completely changed me
disturbing, unnerving
and it was reoccurring
Publicly placed
with a spaced face
I said excuse please
stood firm and refused me
later marching at me
saying can you move please
when I would move
and create some room
stopped looking moody
like I shouldn’t move usually
done to prove
nobody moves
when the word
excuse
Is a word that’s used
annoyed I moved
with the point unproved
Then lying about me
saying I alone see
odd activity
that therefore must be
my imaginary
unaware that your mum
had observed what you’d done
I was not the only one
so your lie was undone
You were blindly suggestive
and passive aggressive
aiming in my direction
repeatedly in collection
I was trying to help you
as your mental health blew
and you set out to get me
slander upset me
asserting authority
treating me horribly
attempts to control
that never took hold
and all of my senses
saw no coincidences
you told me before
of the gas pipe on the wall
that you would pull loose
exploding when a lighter is used
and it happened in fact
where I would have been sat
but the person was stood
a few feet back
causing physical harm
and a bandaged arm
what gets me though mate
If I was sat that’s my face
Thank god I vacated
that day I escaped it
I’d never come back
you’re weird and that’s fact
and that would be that
but you couldn’t adapt
factually rejected
but you couldn’t accept it
spreading this lie
we were good and alls fine
but that wasn’t true
forever done with you
and the shock on display
telling you go away
people confused
It’s out of the blue
they listened to you
when you lie as you do
overtime my consistence
has kept me at distance
nothing has changed
I left cus you’re strange
NOSTALGIA: 70s
REMEMBER...
BOBBY SHORT originally sung the "CHARLIE" Commercial, that was one of my FAVORITES...
(Kind Of Young, Kind of Now...Charlie!
Kind Of FREE, Kind of WOW!!! CHARLIE!)
I also and still love the WINDSONG jingle...(Windsong STAYS On My Mind!) All The Time*, And I'll BUST OUT SINGING that 70s Version, in Gleeful Immersion...Never Thought I'd HEAR that again...and then came: YOUTUBE! Grooving Back In Time...
That PURITY makes my Heart Tingle*...STILL!
REMEMBER...
FREDDIE PRINZE! "CHICO AND THE MAN" OMG! Man, the CRUSH I HAD!!!! Talk about a SMILE, CHARISMA and COMEDIC TIMING, HE WAS A PRINCE IN MY MIND!!!! I Just LOVED How HE EXUDED! And The GUESTS...
JOSÈ FELICIANO and SAMMY DAVIS JR.,
THEME SONG TRIBUTES, EMOTION WISE:
PURE GOLD*****
REMEMBER...
"NIGHT GALLERY"...(Debuted in 1969)
A Year After the First* Year of MY LIFE...SMILE*
I Remember ROD SERLING~
(WHAT A VOICE...WHAT AN UNDERSTATEMENT!)
Those IMAGES* Were INCREDIBLE! UNFORGETTABLE! NOTHING...
FELT MORE DISTURBING* THAN SEEING THE OPENING CREDITS! UNNERVING! "TWILIGHT ZONE" BECAME MY PREFERRED WELL-KNOWN! NOW THAT I'M GROWN;
I APPRECIATE THE REMARKABLE SCI-FI SHOWN...BECAUSE I WAS B L O W N AWAY! HAUNTED, DAUNTED '"TIL THIS DAY!!!"
THE 70s...THESE ARE A FEW OF MY COUNTLESS MEMORIES...MARVELING* FROM MY YOUNGER ME!!!
I SURELY LOVE 1970 AND EVERYTHING* IN THAT DELIGHTFUL DECADE...
E S P E C I A L L Y,
ALL THAT INTRODUCTION TO MY CHILDHOOD NOSTALGIA!
"NOTHING BLAND" AND...
AS A KID, IT DEFINITELY *WOWED* YA!
"DO YOU REMEMBER BABY...
DO YOU REMEMBER THE TIMES OF YOUR LIFE?"
*A NOD* :-)
SUNG BY PAUL ANKA, A 70s CLASSIC.
ON TV LAND, PRESENTS THIS 70s BRAND:
"BIONIC WOMAN"
OH YEAH!!!! :-) MY YOUTH"FULL" MEMORIES...
I'LL ALWAYS* REMEMBER~~~~~
"GOOD NIGHT :-) JOHN BOY!"
©Renee Denise Gross {GHPPR} 01/18/2018
COMING HOME
by
JOHN M. ARRIBAS
I Was Just a Teenage, Yet I’ll Not Forget That Day
When We Were Notified That My Brother Was an MIA
That Chilling Notice Was to Play Hard on Our Lives
A Long Lasting Memory Stain That No One Survives
Mom, Totally Devastated with No Where to Turn
Dad Consoling Knows, There’s More Info We’ll Learn
He May Be Wandering, Lost Unable to Communicate
May Have Been Captured: Then He’ll Just Repatriate
Mom Is Positive He’ll Rejoin Us, She Knows Someday
Dad Addressing, Innate Fears We Need to Allay
Mom Refuses to Consider, That He May Be Dead
His Return Is the Only Thought in Her Head
Difficult Times, a Morose Feeling Hung in the Air
Mom Scolded, Dad Argued, Brought on by Despair
Mom Feared for Sis and I, Becoming Overprotective
Our Growing up Needs and Friends Often Rejected
Restricted Our Activities with Each Passing Day
Sis Rebelling Causing Turmoil Day after Day
Surprisingly, it Wasn’t Long After, Sis Ran Away
Year after Year the Unknowing Took its Toll
Mom’s Sons Returning Home, Her Singular Goal
Dad, Increasingly Withdrawn Seldom Spoke
Childhood Reminiscing, Tears Would Provoke
All Those Days, Then Years of Daily Despondence
Mom Always Said I Am Awaiting My Sons Presence
Mom Passed Away, Dad Joined Her Soon after
In All Those Years Was the Absence of Laughter
They’re Together Anew in the Same Plot of Ground
The Answer to a “ Missing in Action” Yet to Be Found
Left an Unfilled Desire to Be United with Their Son
Mom Often Said, Someday I’ll Be Greeting My Son
Many Years Have Gone by since That Unnerving Day
Thoughts of My Brother Have Mostly Faded Away
Yet Remembrances Still Vivid Even Now That I’m Gray
When Contacted by a Laboratory Wanting My DNA
Now after All These Years Mom and Dad Won’t Be Alone
They’ve Identified My Brother and He’s Coming Home
Major depression crept in,
seeped through my defences like smoke,
the devil shimmying off my shoulder,
setting up a nest in my brain-
a puppeteer of despair,
fingers dancing on my strings,
turning thoughts to marionettes
that contort and squirm in shadows,
a cacophony of whispers,
a choir of chaos.
I had to confront those demons,
childhood phantoms pressed in the attic,
now bursting forth like weeds,
thick and thorny,
clawing for air,
their voices, echoes of innocence lost,
demanding an accounting -
a wildfire licks my skin.
Dismembered by the psychiatrist,
each session a surgical strike,
my thoughts on display
upon a cold, sterile table -
this, my autopsy,
a catalogue of fragmented dreams,
my heart caught in a jar,
tender pieces examined,
wondering how they fell apart.
Features of psychosis wrap around me,
a mantle sewn from a bunch of uncertainty,
trapped within this home,
a labyrinth of lost hope.
My organised mind,
once a temple of clarity,
now a broken shrine,
debris of sanity scattered
like confetti at a wake.
But now,
I’m facing truths,
telling truths,
my voice a tremor,
each syllable a battle cry,
the echoes of my past
still haunting the corridors.
The unnerving ghosts
linger like unwanted guests,
whispers slithering
through the cracks of my mind,
taunts cloaked in shadows,
doubt’s relentless parade.
Yet when the weight of the world
crushes my spirit,
when I crave a sliver of light,
the fireflies appear -
small sparks lighting up the dark,
their glow a resistance,
a dance of resilience against hopelessness,
a flicker of warmth in the cold -
a signal from my unresting mind,
reminding me that, amidst the ruins,
my heart can still flare up;
that beauty resides in the fractures
and hope, like fireflies,
lights the path home.
Chinks of light filter
thru pitchblack emotional prison
vestigial shadow figure hunkers,
an atrophied, mortified, petrified old man
implacable self destructive nemesis
birthed in league pitiful human shambles,
his abysmally forlorn existence
scotched, sabotaged, severely short changed
agonizing depression tortures psyche
family abandoned nsync,
entrenched self cannibalization
devastating vicious feedback loop
exhaustedly drained kith and kin
unconditional, unbridled, unalloyed... love,
no longer spouts, issues, gushes... profusely
familial fountainhead ceased functioning
dry as lovely bones
analogous to fossilized remains
once robust sibling affections,
in toto once dogged sisterly doting
twisted beyond recognition
ditto daughterly acclamation,
adoration, affection, appreciation...
on par with courtly
majestic Fontainebleau
once regaling Francis I (16th century king),
nothing but absolute zero bondage
shackled to solitary confinement
imprisoned impenetrable fortress invisible,
yet...ineradicable as
strongest Earthly material
isolation wrought since...
yours truly begat life in utero
punctuated when obstetrician
pronounced "it's a boy!"
Unbeknownst to very
short lived carefree being
neurological, mental, libidinal... flaws
would spell disaster
spanning scores of years
majority of existence (mine)
participation buzzfeeding livingsocial
shuttered within inaccessible dungeon
surrounded by deepest known moat,
within which flourished fearsome beasts
turned rogue, and conspired
assassination (not yet successful),
whereby one poker face
(born that way)
wretched soul condemned
to psychological abomination
forbidden to terminate
said despicable mortality,
thus suffers life sentence of
yawping, writhing, unnerving... tumult.