Afraid To Live
Chinks of light filter
thru pitchblack emotional prison
vestigial shadow figure hunkers,
an atrophied, mortified, petrified old man
implacable self destructive nemesis
birthed in league pitiful human shambles,
his abysmally forlorn existence
scotched, sabotaged, severely short changed
agonizing depression tortures psyche
family abandoned nsync,
entrenched self cannibalization
devastating vicious feedback loop
exhaustedly drained kith and kin
unconditional, unbridled, unalloyed... love,
no longer spouts, issues, gushes... profusely
familial fountainhead ceased functioning
dry as lovely bones
analogous to fossilized remains
once robust sibling affections,
in toto once dogged sisterly doting
twisted beyond recognition
ditto daughterly acclamation,
adoration, affection, appreciation...
on par with courtly
majestic Fontainebleau
once regaling Francis I (16th century king),
nothing but absolute zero bondage
shackled to solitary confinement
imprisoned impenetrable fortress invisible,
yet...ineradicable as
strongest Earthly material
isolation wrought since...
yours truly begat life in utero
punctuated when obstetrician
pronounced "it's a boy!"
Unbeknownst to very
short lived carefree being
neurological, mental, libidinal... flaws
would spell disaster
spanning scores of years
majority of existence (mine)
participation buzzfeeding livingsocial
shuttered within inaccessible dungeon
surrounded by deepest known moat,
within which flourished fearsome beasts
turned rogue, and conspired
assassination (not yet successful),
whereby one poker face
(born that way)
wretched soul condemned
to psychological abomination
forbidden to terminate
said despicable mortality,
thus suffers life sentence of
yawping, writhing, unnerving... tumult.
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