Long Toasters Poems

Alfie was the first son of a billionaire
Who bought a golden cradle for his son and heir
There was no expense that daddy wouldn’t spare
And perforated ping pong balls didn’t feature there

On Alfie’s one year birthday...

Read More

both sides use conscience for a hook
it's a con artist's suitcase
fill your cup in the Ocean of Tears
there's enough of everything in there
toasters glowing blenders humming
dogs humping on lawns across the land
in a cloying oppressive...

Read More

Lovers have each other so they, 
will never have to be alone.
A king has his tall stone castle, 
where he can sit upon his throne.

Musicians have their instruments, 
and a singer will have a song.
Religions...

Read More

It was the year of Nineteen Forty One
when I was a young, new bride,
there was a sneak attack upon our ships
and so many good men died.

Our president announced we were at war
and we knew lives...

Read More

Big Dreams

My friend told me I should print a business card. 
He said that I should pass it out. 
He told me that I should get out there, 
in the world, and make “a” mark....

Read More

Put a flipper on a kipper if you want to toast a seal 
Put a bloater in a toaster for a better fitting meal
If the whole thing starts a smoking and you’re gasping and you’re...

Read More

Mike and Victoria decided to get married
They lived together for seven years - too long they had dallied
They jetted off to Mexico to get wed
Lets have a party in the UK they said

We won’t make...

Read More

We all wake up every morning
To a day like no other before
This world is still an experiment
With lots of mysteries to explore

One that's uppermost on peoples' minds
And a question unanswered so far
Is how they get...

Read More

We all wake up every morning
To a day like no other before
This world is still an experiment
With lots of mysteries to explore

One that's uppermost on peoples' minds
And a question unanswered so far
Is how they get...

Read More

My closets and garage overflowing with my stuff,
I couldn't afford to rent a storage unit because of the cost,
putting piles of our old clothes and shoes in various rooms,
one day I wanted to sweep and...

Read More

The toasters on the blink.
I don't care, I'm leaving you.
I know you like your toast in the morning, but that's a bit extreme.
I've met someone new.
You never mentioned that last night when you were screaming,...

Read More

Left toothbrushless  mine pilfered along with shampoo,deodorant, razors and other such, found me wasted in Walmart, thieving Gnomes at the last homeless shelter are my suspects. His name tag said Elvis, greeting customers at...

Read More

Bank to Customers—Please Go to Hell

By Elton Camp

I can remember a better time way back when
Banks gave toasters if an account you’d begin

To get your deposit they were happy as can be
And, of course, your...

Read More

Our kids were young when VHS
Changed how we watched TV.
We popped a tape in when there was
A film we’d want to see.

We didn’t have to wait until
Our favorites would appear
Like in my youth, when “Oz”...

Read More

Information and social information
Facebook, Twitter, Smart Phones.
IPods, IRods and even ARods.
Steroids, Bluetooth and Drones 

I became a rapid change victim
Eaten up by crazy, futuristic innovations,
New order, decree and dictum
Transparent toasters and chicken roasters

Decade of the...

Read More

Early morning I stumble around
Half asleep I make no sound
Coffee machine gives a groan
It’s beyond repair hear my moan

Decided to brew a cup of char
Prop myself up at breakfast bar
Toast, I think so put ...

Read More

Technology is rushing forward, mobile phones and such,
Even radios and toasters now turn on without a touch.
Robotic voices on phones will be here very soon,
Replacing NHS as the population booms.
Cars with Bluetooth and sensor controls,
Are...

Read More

Daddy warned us about the Texas twisters
They mow down mountains
Or toss them into another galaxy
Over three hundred miles an hour he said
Because he is from Texas and that is how they talk there

Tornadoes are worse...

Read More

On the twelfth day of Christmas
My true love (hubby) sent to me
12 baskets of laundry
Eleven dishwashing liquids
Ten laundry soaps
Nine vacuum cleaners
Ten frying pans
Nine oven toasters
Eight soft  brooms
Seven kitchen aprons
Six sheers for mowing
Five hair netsssssssssss
Four...

Read More

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOYCE

Born before the hair dryer
And even before hearing aids
Frozen foods and television
Pop-up toasters and aerosol sprays

Jet engines, folding wheel chairs
Scotch tape to stick things down
No parking meters, electric blankets
These items were not around

But...

Read More