Smoked Fish

Put a flipper on a kipper if you want to toast a seal Put a bloater in a toaster for a better fitting meal If the whole thing starts a smoking and you’re gasping and you’re choking It means your toaster’s jammed so grab a fork and start a poking Oh… don’t try this at home… I think I should have said that first And, yes, I’m sure I would have done if only I’d rehearsed For sticking forks in toasters I can’t truly recommend And your brand new charcoaled image isn’t gonna start a trend So we’re talking ‘Health and Safety’, it’s a topic to discuss Please don’t stand there with your bloater, making such a fuss It’s not my fault with ‘toaster voltage’ coursing through your skin You grabbed a pale of water which you chose to pour right in A pretty small explosion I was led to understand Which sent you flying with your toaster welded to your hand I can’t believe the plug was still stuck in its power socket The chord pulled tight, your dog took flight… that wet floor sure did shock it So when your house went dark because the circuit breaker tripped You lay there barely conscious till your wife came home and flipped She stumbled past you and your dog but you don’t get to sue For SHE reset the trip-switch meaning she got frazzled too!