Long Speedos Poems

The day the asteroid arrived the dinosaurs were playing,
With toys and bats and balls and things, some dancing jigs and swaying.
Young Betty Brontosaurus was renowned for being dim,
She was running on a treadmill in her...

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Baltimore Tales


lazy fat cat meowing, begging for a meal,
mother baking cookies, grates an orange peel. 

husband’s belly flopping, cold beer in his hand,
watching Jimmy Kimmel, singing with the band.

little Susie playing, with her pregnant worn...

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In the far Far East,
a few strange Hindu temples are intricately carved,
& are most pornographically exuberant,
everywhere there are wrathful-playful-sexual-
vengeful-gesturing-carousing-beckon  -ing -
ascending-descending-riding-weeping  - flying -
alluring - humping - bumping- twerking -
singing, or just dancing...

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Here's a story of a little known secret
That most people just don't know
When the Fairytales go on vacation
I know exactly where they go

Me and the wife were relaxing
Just spending a day at the beach
When, out...

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                   ~Merry,...

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A men only poem, well I never-
that is something odd, for a start
submissions from men
who pick noses and then
will polish it off with a fart.

We undress like drunken mime artists
look like we get dressed in...

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He oozed charm, this aging lothario.
Gallantry was his middle name.
Yet, he lived in the past
in the glory days of football wins
and cheerleaders…
denying his saggy abdomen
blind eye, and fungus crusted feet…

Gallantry was his middle name
and he...

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He's quick to flash his latest jewel.
They must have brought it by mule.
And while he's dazzling your eyes.
He's quickly saying his goodbyes.   Smirkedey Smirk. What a jerk!

He's spotted mermaids from afar.
Quick introductions, hit...

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My wife brought home a little man
He really doesn't talk very much
He mostly cries and sucks his thumb
And he poops a lot and such

A lot of times he just stares at me
Well, I cant just...

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My wife brought home a little man
He really doesn't talk very much
He mostly cries and sucks his thumb
And he poops a lot and such

A lot of times he just stares at me
Well, I cant just...

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A tropical vacation that I never shall forget
The clearest cleanest ocean that I’ve ever seen as yet
I dabbled in a rock pool with a bamboo handled net
I told my wife, “It’s just for fun, to...

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Some temples are cluttered.
Everywhere there are
wrathful-playful-sexual-vengeful-
gesturing-carousing-beckoning-
ascending-descending-riding-
weeping-flying-singing,
or just sitting around
   Gods.

The congregation ride luggage carts 
in the dead of night,
sing drunkenly, slam doors, 
or watch HBO with the volume way up,

That was a hotel...

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When Ned came to the island with his dog
greeted by the men in bulging Speedos, 
some he knew and many that he didn't
he saw the tip of an enormous iceberg
the submerged of which would quickly...

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“Is Fashion Modern?” MOMA* asks
And so, in its new show,
The items on display are there
To let us know it’s so.

A pair of Levi’s, baseball caps,
Bikinis and berets,
A Wonderbra, dashikis, kilts
And suits from prior days.

A Rolex...

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