Long Schlock Poems

uncomfortableness, and hesitation arose that you might reassess a possibility for friendship or.... whatever with me.

A disappointment set in place in the event that based on some facet of my being (inexplicable flaws within this...

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Daylight savings time more'n minute effect on me

In 2024, daylight savings time will begin at two o'clock ante meridiem on Sunday, March tenth. That will mean losing an hour of precious sleep and moving the...

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A meadow for Autumn

Forest, I lay me down to rest
upon bed of moss.
 
Eternal sleep immediately overtakes me 
lichen kenning myself 
as Rip Van Winkle 
except being repurposed
as  oldest living species. 

With an estimated...

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Wednesday, September 2021 at 3:20 PM...
eastern standard time Autumn Equinox arrives

That seasonal occasion twill arise
when darkness and light doth bring
equilibrium between night and day
raking leaves will constitute exercise
espied and witnessed by observant earthling
namely me who...

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Struggle to write

Witnessed courtesy the following poetic sight
especially when dark shadows foretell edge of night
twilight zone expanding
into outer limits of width and height
obscuring webbed wide world
subsequently where black tentacles alight.

This poetic prologue feeble exercise to...

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My on call (Uncle) Muse Never Sleeps
(aunt that title niece – ???
in this context pronounced nice)

Well...hm...I really did not wanna
     let the cat out of the bag,
    ...

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when eve doth fall upon summers’ end, 
   a hint of splendor bequeathed arose
upon firmament as changed scenery 
   (this third equinox act since new year) bellows
basses loaded and blasted in...

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Virtual trophies (wife for I)... 

offered, husbanded, and collected 
when winning solitaire
Nothing beats that exaltant rush of adrenaline
watching the computer generated cards
automatically routed 
to their respective suite (spot)
(after they get turned face value up)
generates countenance...

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Marriage to alarmingly ballooning...

dramatically expanding spouse,
when adorning buttons 
pop off undersized blouse
which spurs yours truly to grouse,
and ruffle mine tail feathers 
while listening to Scheherazade.

Eats her weigh out of home and house
unsolicited feedback courtesy
quite doubtful,...

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Tick...Tock...Tick...Tock...

(Aye apologize for straying way
outside thee usual canon -
     a poetic souffle,
boot desperation
     finds me cent less,
     Thus i pray
for divine intercession, this...

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"The Eagle has landed”

Apollo 11 lunar module named “Eagle”
prediction defied naysayers ain't no boon
dog gull announced successful landing
while voice of Ole Blue eyes did croon

in Sea of Tranquility on moon
sometime about high noon
halting advancing armies
from...

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Marriage to alarmingly ballooning...
dramatically expanding spouse

Eats her weigh out of home and house
unsolicited feedback courtesy
yours truly, she does grouse
quite doubtful, she could pose
for playboy and/or penthouse
returning explicit volley
of trailing appellations lobbed

expletive laced epithets
directed at her...

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This Bumptious Poet ©

Once again dear reader,
     aye strive to regale ye
with in apropos prate,
     (nee inane) vain
null gibberish in order to suss stain
mine infamous reputation
 ...

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The image of morning mapping from the four cardinal points at the center of 
busy pedestrians running ups and down to the bottom of their energies, 
Chasing the note they never designed to decimate 
ownership.

The...

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C'mon Gimme A Botox Smile!

'Pon bing asked by spouse, while she didst dock
and pooched herself abed 
handily at nine o'clock
to see "handsome" pedigree dentastix
dog face of yours truly, me no Kid Rock
yea just a chip...

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seminal squirt didst sanctify 
   an anonymous boulder 
when mercury dipped below 
   hashtag mark registering colder

than usual temperatures circa 
   winter of year 2000 in proximity 
 ...

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The Rocky Horror Picture Show ~ Starring Tim Curry as Dr. Frank-N-Furter,
Content Warning:  Schlock Horror

Elements of the unintentional humor of B horror
Ripped fishnet stockings, glitter, and a shapely contour
A kitschiness and campiness that seems...

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I ordered French fries for my alligator,
But he stated,
“I’ll eat them later.”

So I spoke up to the waiting waiter,
And said, “Please do me a favor.
Go and take the taters
Out of the fry-o-later.”

Then the waiter intently...

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For any glimpse of light he sought,
As he turned to a chiming clock,
But in this world there is naught.

Many years the world had taught,
Of fire, water, wind, and rock.
For any glimpse of light he sought,

His...

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Though curved like a question mark, 
she walks without a Zimmer frame. 
Will she ever veer from 
the narrow, 
nonsensical 
dirt road? 

She earns,
mopping, scrubbing, laundering, and currying. 
She’s often gifted with 
rice, tea powder,...

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