Long Ritz Poems

I have travelled through the cluttered corridors of my tired mind countless times. 
I have reached deep into the dark abyss of my captive soul and in that profoundly disturbing darkness, I went searching to...

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The Trial.

 

Arthur, Sammy, Davis, Junior, Stevie Wonder, Bob, Mick, Sue, Carver. You are being charged with the partial demolition of a listed building. Endangering the life of one, Mavis Stepney. How do you plead.

Not...

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The Spaniel

A Spaniel that uses its head 
Can tell when its owner’s unfed 
So instead of a duck
That is down on its luck 
Will deliver a pizza instead
 
The Afghan Hound

The Afghan’s a dog groomer’s...

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Recluse by dint of circumstance

Proud anonymous troglodytes 
forerunners of mine
confronted threats less horrific
than forty fifth commander in chief
of United States of America.

He/him (matted hair, ratty, scrawny, 
and tetchy ugly villain)   
scurried into dark...

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Half a dozen plus years ago the following became a near reality

Countdown to homelessness – 
mars this earthlinked sole Harris - son
panhandler would would register 
pyrrhic victory won.

10…9…8…3..2..1… 
Found me linkedin at the end of...

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Putin non gmo gluten free cheese on the ritz as a celiac to follow

Initially written March 18th, 2023
and revised exactly two years later
tweaking the poem here and there
courtesy adding or subtracting Nabisco  
National Biscuit...

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Though I wrote no book 
attention summoned to look 
at following--->>>

Urgent message – to send Mephistophelian madman back to stone age

predicated upon past and present, I gauge
will offer ogre golden opportunity 
to rewrite anarchistic playbook...

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Your face was red and blue…hope you feel good again
When I saw you, you obviously, abruptly coughed
I couldn’t help, but remember that…I’m feeling 7 out of 10 
When I saw you smile, I knew you...

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We’re in NYC - at last - on Christmas vacation, and it feels like a pardon.

It’s amazing what can happen in just a few wild and change-filled hours. One minute, seemingly, you’re in a picture...

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Walking from the horrid old motel, and out into the smaze, 
a suffocating day, worsened now, by a mocktail shade of smog
in mockumentary proportions, she flounders in a fog.
Too dazed by crazy sitcoms that seem...

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A spinning world globe just set off the center of its axis pole,
Welcome to the mad-mad Hatter’s topsy-turvy upside down
Wonderland, just another inside out hole where bunnies ware
Waist coats and fancy pocket watches!
Empty tea cups,...

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Unsolved criminal mystery...modest prevarication

Found yours truly
a grateful dead head
convenient scapegoat dejure
Norristown police officers
fingerprinted me for 
casual postal employment
linked to vicious brutal crime
someone else who shared 
identical name and fingerprints as mine
the latter of corpse far...

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Arabella’s 18th birthday
Darling granddaughter of mine
A special treat
A unique ‘do’
A celebration for just us two
At a perfect place I knew

Board a train to the metropolis
hail a cab through London’s streets
we approach our destination
and our excitement...

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Fitness guru (grew)
     to an abrupt screeching halt,
     i.e. did dramatically abate,
whence significant block of time,
     I formerly did allocate
(within recent past)
 ...

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Trump poems and epigrams V

The prez should be above the law, he sez,
even though he’s no longer prez.
—Michael R. Burch



Mercedes Benz
by Michael R. Burch

I'd like to do a song of great social and political import....

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I pulled up to the Stork Club in a bright Red Coupe Deville. I must admit I felt a bit of pride as I tossed the bell hop the keys. I said "Keep it close...

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Heretic condemned to burn at stake
reprieve eleventh hour granted clemency
commuted death penalty
criminal sentenced solitary isolation
rat infested dungeon ultimate punishment
doled out after protracted proceedings
courtesy amazing graceful puffed dragon
unwittingly delivered merciful respite.

Cowled ascetic busied himself
exotic gaseous/ liquified...

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Your chlorinated water comes through colluded rusted pipes ;
your city taxes you to clean it up;
 your house is torn down so they can build a strip mall;
 they ridicule you and at the school...

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It took him two trips to set it all up.
He kept it simple just the way 
he thought she'd like it.. 
A basket of fruit and ritz crackers
ham and cheese sandwiches,,,
and her favorite
a giant wedge...

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Though a wimpy, tiny, and puny
(smaller than a breadbox) Ogre
whereat my portable minuscule
fingerhut size adobe abode ex
posed to Strunk and White raw
grammatical elements of style,

I counted Flip (Wilsonian) view,
to camouflage myself anytime
and anywhere as significant...

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There's A Pedophile In The House...
(ah...ah...ah...ham eye white...???)

OMG,... and he looks...
     SAY WHAT??? just like me???,...
     absolutely NO WAY!!!,
would this sensitive,
     respectful, "FAKE"...

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Impossible mission, nonetheless
eschatological, diabolical, critical...
dire straits betokens armageddon.

Come Tuesday, November 3, 2020
mandatory voting obligation to oust
horrible malevolent commander in chief.

Spanish and English writing on border wall
bespeaks impending apocalyptic windfall
weapons of mass destruction concomitant ashfall
brinkmanship ticks...

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And ignoble prize trumpeting hubris awarded to...

Bourgeoisie donning ersatz
overstuffed ego freezer bewigged pate
"FAKE" grotesque humanitarian
bribed corrupt judges will vindicate
jimmied cracked corn
land of "milk and honey"

red hot button he spoils to activate
countdown to Armageddon
leaving nation prostrate,
all...

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Artfully dodging explosive solutions
pretending shackles restrained prisoner 
lobbed pseudo Molotov cocktails 
kindly, loosely, and mutinously linkedin 
liberal short (make believe) chain
leashed faux abysmal isolated confinement
former courtly poet,
who consumed prison fare 
equalling bread and thin gruel
poetical,...

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Though Nervous...

Yours truly, quite dissimilar
to a woodlark,
nonetheless, this human
i(r)onically positively charged
to forge covalent bond,

hence this stranger
axon impulse to generate,
modulate, and spark...
assimilate virtual digital connection
with mine quark

key aura, charisma,
and karma acquired,
sans "FAKE" trumpeting
assertion tubby Ozark
Mountain Daredevil,...

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