Long Raunchy Poems

Reveren’ Carlton Whitney was the pastor of our church, and someone I looked up to as a child. 
Six foot six, with piercing eyes, a booming voice, and yet…his disposition, thankfully - was mild.

The very...

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NOTE:  This is the 2nd THIRD of a funny 3-part piece. No other way to post it due to file size limitations. It's a really fun poem, and I hope you'll take the time...

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Oh Hanna. 

The sinking of the USS Stefan wood. 

Oh Hanna 
I want to take you to Montana. 
We can camp out by the springs we will go and see the way oil is founding...

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March 18-27

This time I woke, 
He was staring readily,
Smiling, plotting steadily

I lifted my body and gently gazed at his grotesque beauty
He was always at his best in thought…

“You look ravishing…” He began. 
“Mouth-parched, crusty-eyed, hair...

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I got a text from one of my professors yesterday saying, ‘Please stop by my office at 6 pm tomorrow.’ It didn’t say why. This was the first day after November recess, had I missed...

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Responding to an ad I’d found on Market-Place last month, describing what the seller claimed to be a - “true antique”,
I queried - ‘Have you sold this yet?’,  nervously suspecting - being the gorgeous...

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Courtesy Google, I learned Dynata...mite!

Constitutes the world’s largest
first-party data platform
for insights, activation and measurement

Earlier today August 28th, 2022,
a representative from aforementioned
market research company
fielded political questions to yours truly.

The young lady at other end of telephone
(little...

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She curled up with me on the bed, and laughed insanely
I looked at her in marvel, wondering what on earth had gotten into her
“Why are you laughing?” I asked my eyes wide in surprise.
She giggled,...

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Alas morning has come, 
the treacherous storm has passed
Anticipation heightens my senses as the wind swirls past, 
The essence of musk engulfs me;
Replacing the aroma of sea salt that once filled the misty air
I am...

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The little pygmy named Pixie Poggly was quirky queenly quaintly and quickly, but rarely ever really did much can't you see.

Until one day, a raunchy rascal quaintly and shrewdly, Skinny and slippery that he was,...

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“Ever met the Pinkertons?” I asked my friend, Nadine. “Well…Dexter’s wife, Matilda, is a gossip through and through, 
And yesterday my sister called to see if I might know if what Matilda’s aunt, Marlene, had...

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Somewhere in her white house 
There was a gray future spouse 
Looking for cheese 
Doing as he please 
Enchanting accent came from the mouth 
A drawing sound noting the south 
Filled with luring charm 
Made...

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Fool’s Quest
By Mark Spencer


We all wish to be accepted
For what we say and do.
But if we overstep our bounds
We should receive our due.

For if we must invade the space,
Of someone’s comfort zone,
Should they respect the...

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Rapacious  Itch 


It felt things coming, 
The undeniable bottom feeder reality, 
Where thought had no credulity, 
Where irrational emoting ruled, 
Void of mind’s prep, 
Blind of light’s revealing purpose. 

Such remained 
This well-rehearsed and...

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"When your down and out you need some Joe Bonamassa."

                        ...

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Suicide is a topic way too serious for jokes. 
Too awkward for many funny bone pokes. 
But Patch Addams was played on this tone. 
By a fighter of demons of others and his own. 

So...

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narrative poem

It was in the sixth month of the fifth year,
when B. Obama was the president.
I heard the loud noise of many actors -
singing praises, clapping hands in tribute.

Play-acting, cultured lines, memorized songs,
performed by men...

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his guitar is raunchy and moody and his singing voice raspy
and if I close my eyes I am in a rundown jazz bar
down and out on luck and drinking alone
drowning my sorrows in the booze...

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Having come of age in the late 50s and early 60s, this piece was a natural for an old fart like me - 



Until you’ve spent an evening in a 1950s classic cruisin’ ‘round the...

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The curtain rises. Steve Merkin, the unscrupulous accountant, and John Travailleur, Esq. just another John, are seated at a bar in a seedy looking inn. Mitchell Hollywood, the adulterous innkeeper, is behind the bar. He...

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You were born in a war ravaged state
You lost your man to the caprices of fate
You fell prey to your wayward ways
Victims of betrayal, greed or circumstances
You were drowned in the tide of darkness

Depraved incidents...

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The leaves had fallen weeks ago, the trees were standing bare,
As I would sit and watch the snow drift gently through the air.

Just beyond the veil of white, so seemingly benign --
As I would gaze...

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So we’re going on a picnic with the pygmy, Pixie Poggly, being the quirky queenly 
quaintly quickly person she is and her friend a raunchy rascal reverently named 
Andy Bailey. As you remember he was...

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I am an elementary school counselor.
Everyone else shuns the sixth graders, they are my pals.
They are the ones I know the best, we have the same humor.
We laugh at the same raunchy jokes,
Although some I...

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century later in a watery grave
souls of the elite as well as peons
float about the wreckage

boarding in Southampton
Dad carried jewels to sell in the States
I, just a teen, came along to see the sights

Dad’s money...

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