Long Proboscis Poems

Limericks II - Nature Poems and Animal Poems

Dot Spotted
by Michael R. Burch

There once was a leopardess, Dot,
who indignantly answered: "I’ll not!
The gents are impressed
with the way that I’m dressed.
I wouldn’t change even one spot!"



Clyde Lied!
by...

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Limericks
by Michael R. Burch



Clyde Lied!
by Michael R. Burch

There once was a mockingbird, Clyde,
who bragged of his prowess, but lied.
To his new wife he sighed,
"When again, gentle bride?"
"Nevermore!" bright-eyed Raven replied.



The Platypus
by Michael R. Burch

The platypus,...

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Limericks VII - Naughty, Bawdy, Risque, Absurd

There continue to be modern sequels of the famous "Nantucket" limericks, including this bawdy one of mine:

There was a lewd whore from Nantucket
who intended to pee in a bucket;
but...

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Pardon any absent adulation, bequeathed capitulation, devoted dedication, indiscretion, blabbering peroration, improper salutation or any unintended vexation if this unknown earthling sent a nearly identical message. He over-looked a small number of errors and hoped...

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Scrounging for boogers wrought my damn nostrils nearly to bust 

Warning: The following material no worse than getting cooties. I remember them way back in grade school, whereat everyone ran away from me with worse...

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Sneezing fit – tests nasal septum

The word Gesundheit was first used in English in 1914. It became popular in the United States due to the many German immigrants who moved there. Many Americans may not be...

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Recurrent sneezing fit courtesy freshly mowed grass

circa June 20th, 2022
prompted me to stutter 
self addressed rapid fire gesundheit
nsync with, spluttering
“I don't have any allergies!”

An infinitesimal slight speck tickled 
nostril follicle – activated via an itty...

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Anomalous poetic contrivance evokes...
googling inept kickstarted lame outré jaunty hokum

(alternately titled:
Random screenshot within me noggin
instantaneously transforming, 
née devolving into gobbledygook.)

I got born with poker faced physiognomy,
no matter yours truly doth not play cards
though self same...

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Scrounging for boogers wrought my damn nostrils nearly to bust 

My humblest apology if the following account
doth gross thee out forlorn childhood of mine 
found further ostracization of me tantamount
being shipped off to  a...

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Pain is everywhere
Springing from the crown 
Of the head and like jellyfish 
Expanding proboscis
Cover the whole body
Till the end of the toes
He collapses in epilepsy
And lays there on the cold floor
For the whole day
Till the...

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Pain is everywhere
Springing from the crown 
Of the head and like jellyfish 
Expanding proboscis
Cover the whole body
Till the end of the toes
He collapses in epilepsy
And lays there on the cold floor
For the whole day
Till the...

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MULBERRY TREES AND BUTTERFLIES 

Don’t go back to heavy sleep
dwell in the wakefulness 
of I AM THAT I AM
here mulberries and butterflies 
beckon across filtered fences
which you can comely climb
for a bountiful bestowing 
pick, a...

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The Flower and the Butterfly

In the subtle softness of dawn’s embrace,
A tender flower reclines upon her garden bed,
Enshrouded in the veil of morning mist,
Which caress her form like the softest lace, 

As golden rays of...

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We ponder Pandora as the person preordained
to unleash a plethora of plagues upon our persons.

But here's what I heard:
Pandora had two sisters,
Persephone and Proserpina.
Pandora perused poetry 
while Persephone practiced petite-point.
But Proserpina possessed the predilection
for picking...

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The Platypus: Double Limerick
by Michael R. Burch 

The platypus, myopic,
is ungainly, not erotic.
His feet for bed
are over-webbed,
and what of his proboscis?

The platypus, though, is eager
although his means are meager.
His sight is poor;
perhaps he’ll score
with a...

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These are poems about animals by Michael R. Burch

Double Limerick: The Platypus
by Michael R. Burch

The platypus, myopic,
is ungainly, not erotic.
His feet for bed
are over-webbed,
and what of his proboscis?

The platypus, though, is eager
although his means are...

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      Butterfly bless dances from flower to flower, 
sipping nectar with its slender proboscis imitating Bacchus with prospectus,
direct to us.

Streaks in the open air with flagrant color, 
as the morning...

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This is my story…
A headless lighter, a writer
Mix up with silver long metallic
Make the agitations clear cold then warm
Neurons from above became so clear
I can hear my heartbeats like a doldrums
Because I’m just a woman...

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The grey mists of a sleeping dawn, cosetting birds still
wrapped up warm in bed, watch a stoat emerge from
its burrow and sprint across his meadow, like a caterpillar
making humped back bridges in Concertina motion

The stoat...

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A mother holding her child in her hands, saying “How gorgeous she is!”. 
A mother watching her 3 year old son saying his first word, and thus say “How smart he is!” 
But neither do...

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An infinitesimal slight speck tickled 
nostril follicle – activated via an itty 
bitty, nitty gritty dirt band noah bigger 
than a mole luck yule set in motion a 
chain reaction, whence mine sensitive 
proboscis honker...

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My eldest sister Amélie Beth...
ever the amateur family entomologist

Upon texting her a picture
(countless moments ago
since October ninth)
unfamiliar delicate looking critter -
(seen inside the apartment many times),
she quickly identified crane fly
agilely affixed to lampshade.

I figuratively tip...

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(*Note- I suggest you read this with a boom box going in your head. Can you dig it?)

Yo,
Now gather round, my brothers ,settle down while I regale ya
with some tales about my lady from the...

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Santa, I have an important request.
Please don't embarrass me with ho ho hos.
If you'd looked at my face you might have guessed.
I'm serious about fixing my nose.

I can sense you are stifling your laughter.
Your bowl...

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A swarm of mosquitoes there was
Of  different ethnic origin, language and culture.
Aedes, anopheles, culex and others
Some fragile,  some agile and some avaricious,
The anopheles was the most fragile but avaricious.

This human, they set eyes...

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