Long Poops Poems

Colin is a cabby with a proper taxi cab
He drives for all the passengers an Uber didn’t grab
Which means he has a lot of time to kill most every day
And lots of evil folk to...

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I am playing with my dollies
And my princess pram all pink
I'm nearly 5
A big girl now
No more nappies
Or plastic pants
I think

I outgrew the potty
When I was only three
My mum says it's because I am brave
Now...

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Everything I know...I learned from children’s books 

One day I ran to Grandpa and I looked into his ear.
“Mommy says you’re pretty smart…do you keep your brains in here?”

“Oh, It’s too dark. I can’t see...

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One day I ran to Grandpa…And I looked into his ear.
“Mommy says you’re pretty smart….Do you keep your brains in here?”

It’s too dark in here. I can’t see a thing…I don’t know what to do.
Grandpa...

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My muse stopped by today
He knew he’d find me home
With this current virus
I seldom outside roam

The Governor’s making changes
Things are freeing up a bit
I sense with all this “freedom
Corona deaths may take a hit.

So many...

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Love, Love, Love…
You are so strong…
When your name is said,
You get everyone’s attention.
Sometimes you’re cool,
And sometimes you’re a prick.
You’ve snuck up on me on multiple occasions,
Especially this one certain situation.
You know how I am,
You know...

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Schiff picked up the phone receiver again:Pelosi, your idea's great! The pizzas paid off! The gofers all rolled back! And their hauptman Mutt Gaets vanished, purportedly calling for a press conference. 
Pelosi: Uh, pizzas paid...

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It was my first Thanksgiving dinner as his wife
so I wanted the meal to be perfect in every way
But...trembling in fear, I cut my finger with a knife
It was the beginning of a day in...

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POOP - TALE : for contest

No embarrassment , everyone poops
So relaxed is the feel after all 's out
No gold and riches can ever buy such feel
I am sure all will agree silently though!
We get that...

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Walking the yard with shovel in hand
Cruising back and forth just as planned
Trying to pick up every last pile
If the wife steps in one she gets hostile

Didn't think this through from the start
Three dogs are...

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X1tKP2npRz4

Sister Yanny baked brownies in the orphanage.  This was a  rare occasion 
for money was scarce and there were more important things to buy such as milk,
diapers, blankets, etc.   Buddy bounced...

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My neighbor, Pete, is very frustrated
For two weeks he has been constipated
Then, in Poetry Soup
I heard him yell, "Whoop Whoop!"
His laxative had been activated!

He eats spicy food and lot of legumes
Where he shows up, a...

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Sleep eludes me
Women, kids, money, dreams, problems
Cycle in and out
Numb to the present
I can't do anything about
Run from here to there
Every place becomes intolerable
Where will I rest my head
When there's no there there
And I'm stuck
Well...

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I’m faffing about on Facebook
Been avoiding it for years
What began as curiosity will
Doubtless end in tears
Hear no speak no see no
Evil learned in conversation
All that knowledge lost in
Two dimensional translation
Like me, share me, follow
All my...

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She would,intimidated at the hubbub of the spoon
Tapping the dishes at meal times,
Strive to elbow her way through the kitchen egress
Otherwise mount the window and the netting abrade 

Exasperated my wife would with her broom
Endeavour...

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Wretched working weekend
Friday, Saturday, Sunday,
twelve hour shifts,
praying for Monday.

Noisy nurse's station,
patients pressing call-lights,
you'd think they'd all be resting,
but instead they're up all night.

With their East Texas accents:
"I need hay-elp" patient cries,
always adding syllables,
"I wet my...

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I HAVE ISSUES

The next door neighbour is on a roll, she is after getting rid of my cats
Now she is forever at her front door shooing them, to make them scat

I have riled her up...

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Her heart swells with ecstacy
When he plays basketball in scorching heat
Dodges the ball here and there
With a sly smile dwelling everywhere

Before scoring the goal, he lifts his head
Throws a glance where she with everyone, treads
Drunk,...

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Porthos Starshipbroken?

There was a dog on Enterprise
Whose smell T’Pol like to exorcise–
A beagle named Porthos,
On Capt. Archer’s bed, he would repose.

Where did Archer pick up this hound?
Did he get him from a futuristic pound
Where training...

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A Bug’s Life

I hate bugs that annoy me. 
You know the ones. 
The hit and run, touch and go… hahaha.

At the picnic it is the ant. 
They are really more than one, so ants…
Everywhere, especially...

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Skull and Crossbones alumni) 
passed along ancestral line when 
cock sure rooster spent 
     however long with a hen
     guaranteed supply grunt workers    ...

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Dear Santa,

Christmas is coming, the goose is already getting fat
Yes, I've already put a penny in the old mans hat.
I hear the sleigh bells ringing gee I hope they do last
I've been better this year,much...

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They say there’s a touch of God in every one.
An Angel inside, that is sitting there… ready to come out.
He’ll have to wait a little bit longer… Dragon just woke up.
He’s a tad bit persnickety,...

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In my present absence
I’m trying to remember where I misplaced the key
To unlock the door to my own existence

I rise with the smelting icecaps
Only to come crashing down with the rising levels of pollution
So I’m...

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My wife brought home a little man
He really doesn't talk very much
He mostly cries and sucks his thumb
And he poops a lot and such

A lot of times he just stares at me
Well, I cant just...

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