Long Overeating Poems

Screwed XI Contest
Sponsor: Rob Carmack


There's seven deadly sins, I am number one.
When the darkness comes, I am very fun.
My wrath of death seems to follow you
turning your brightness into black and blue.
My anger is released...

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Judy Leigh was addicted with a food fixation.
Gorging on fruit, veggies, and any crustacean.
She wanted to stop and yelled, "Damnation!
My overeating is causing me such frustration!"

While grudgingly doing her morning chores,
Judy acquired the bad habit...

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The Inflated Nation!

Americans growing wider by the minute!
Is there  a Russian collusion behind this illusion?
(Now, there's a breaking news headline
with real meat in it)

(Mashed potatoes, ah,don't forget, 
drowning in a greasy, gravy pit?)
Served at your table,...

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"Book Worms"   Posted 1 Feb 2021

i'm reading a book about anti-gravity      I can't put it down

that bio of Led Zeppelin's guitarist      is a...

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On Monday I tried to call you but no one was home.
On Tuesday I walked to your home and  rang the doorbell.
There was no answer.
On Wednesday I baked you some cookies thinking it would...

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Beth met James on the nudist beach, 
Splashing and crashing around.
He had revived her with mouth to mouth, 
After she’d nearly drowned.

And Bruce met Frank on the nudist beach, 
Sunbaking on the sand.
They’d rubbed lotion...

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Legitimate Love

Executed for marrying the illegitimate like Christians
    and Soldiers St. Valentine died for someone else’s love
        to flourish a convict for his own mellow...

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There's a stage of life which makes no sense at all
   Its essence, anti-life -- not about our rise, but our fall

Almost from the get-go, the plan is to succeed
   We...

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Oh Goddess, Little Debbie,
Queen of all Saturated Fat,
Sometime of Swiss, which is called Roll,
Now of the delightful Court of Nutty Bars,
I respectfully esteem your Zebra Cakes,
I salute your Cosmic Brownies
And I kiss your empty boxes...

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Wind warrior's chant among proud souls
high in the mountains on grassy knolls
ancient ancestors urging them on
from deep within' their own heart song

The skies ceiling is breakin'
the people have weakened
honor has slipped out the door
empty faces...

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Modern Appetite
by Michael R. Burch

"Women, wine, song ..."

It grumbled low, insisting it would feast
on blood and flesh, etcetera, at least
three times a day. With soft lubricious grease

and pale salacious oils, it would ease 
its way...

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At the kitchen table 
Eating all the gravy 
This gets complicated and messy 
Cornbread and turkey 
Ham and chicken
Grand man chosen 
Is beholden smorgasbord 
Stop eating 
Look at these dishes 
Everyone's eating who's going to...

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At the kitchen table
Eating all the gravy
Biscuits, cornbread
Turkey legs and ham
Grand man chosen
Is beholden smorgasbord
Stop eating
Look at these dishes
Everyone's eating whose gonna clean up all those dirty dishes
Papa smoking a pipe
Reading the newspaper
Trying to understand...

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It’s called, ’excessive fork to mouth disease’.
Overeating too much of what we please.
Sitting excessively on our derrière?
Watching TV, or writing poetry with magical flairs?

Lockdowns were absolutely no excuse.
Blaming it on “Climate Change…”a bad joke and...

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Been feeling a bit extra strange today
Can't imagine what's the reason
My tightie whities must be a little too tight
Think lately, I'm overeating

3X most likely is my new size now
Please keep this our little secret
Sadly my...

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I eat sugar and salt, donuts, coffee cake and jalapeno peppers too.
Because these are things a meddling doctor told me not to do.
They are my forbidden foods, so I grab them up in droves.
If I...

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Americans are easy prey
for the latest diets of the day.
(The food and diet industries
are experts at selling fantasies!)
Now, with dieting and eating there’s
a relationship that compares
to one in nature called symbiotic.
That happens when two biologic
organisms...

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Can you ever imagine
How life would really be
If most birds were obese
And fell from their tree?
Sparrows staggering somehow
Around with bent beaks
Upturned to the sky
Awaiting helpful tweaks!
Alas, when the rain showers
Fall like you wouldn’t believe
You’d see...

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Feeling a bit extra strange today
Really can't imagine the reason
Tightie whities maybe a little too tight
Think maybe I'm overeating

3X most likely is my new size now
Please keep this our little secret
Sadly my diet plan has...

Read More

Been feeling a bit extra strange today
Really can't imagine the reason
My tightie whities must be a little tight
Think lately, I'm overeating

3X most likely is my new size now
Please keep this our little secret
Sadly my diet...

Read More

here i am yearning
for mashed potatoes and gravy
honeybaked ham and honey butter biscuits
all of the above inspires me to make hot oatmeal raisin cookies
and buttercream cake squares
i wash down with more overeating and set up...

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SIX

To join the angels in joyful repast,
Where is no shame, nor overeating e’er,
Is her least gift, ‘tis given at the last…
Before, they stroke their golden dulcimers rare,
And sing like rivers babbling over rocks,
And sing like...

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JACK SPRATT

Mc Donald's food  is unhealthy it's thought
Food is food no matter where it's bought

When encountering starvation on your traveled road
You'll not hearing them saying "McDonalds? I'd rather eat a toad!"

People in war zones...

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A lover like mockingbirds,
You're poised, prepared to hunt.
Ears perked, you could hear a pin drop
You smell the freshness of rain in the air
Its melody and rhythm afford serenity.
Drip, drip.  Sprinkle, sprinkle, sprinkle!
Each drop lights...

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HALLOWEEN TRAGEDY

There was a young lad, Joe Keating
Disappeared whilst trick or treating
The poor lad took flight
One Halloween night
Due to severe overeating.

As he made his way through the streets
Each house that he called on had treats
He...

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