Long On the rocks Poems
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" Sci-Fi Bar Jokes & Riddles ... "
( 1 Tim. 1: 11)
(1.)
"Star Wars Bar ..."
A Jedi Knight and a Wookie, walk into a bar ...
The Jedi tells the bartender to keep the drinks coming.
Around dawn, when the Jedi is too drunk to think,
the bartender, then tells them both, its time to pay
their tab. Then the Jedi, turns to his buddy, the Wookie
and asks, "Do You Mind?"
------- ------- ------ -------
(2)
"Dune's Sand Bar ..."
On Arrakis, the desert planet known as Dune,
A Duke and a Baron, walks into a bar ...
Now, which one orders the biggest bottle of Mezcal?
------- ------ ------- -------
(3)
"The Matrix-Mixer Bar ..."
Neo and Morpheus, walk into a bar ...
On that night, every patron, gets their first drink free
Now, the selection is between two drink choices on
the list: They can choose either the 'Crimson Cocktail'
or the 'Blue Kamikaze' ... Which did Neo pick?
------- ------- ------- ------
(4)
"Stargate Symbol Bar ..."
Col. O'Neill and Teal'c, walk into the Stargate
and wine-up in a bar (he-he) ... in a world
very much like our own. While there, they
socialize with the locals, sample strange brews
and get very intoxicated. However, not to worry,
on this world, the bartender is used to visitors
who can't handle the native liquors ... So,
the bar has their own taxi, on standby
for such occasions. So he dials the cab.
But before the cabdriver comes, the taxi
has to be gased up. The question is:
"What gas station does he use?"
------- ------- ------- -------
(5)
"Barsoom/Mars' Whiskey Bar ..."
A Thern and a Thark, walk into a bar ...
They join John Carter, who was drinking Cutty Sark
and a Martini. Also there, is The Princess, who
sips on deja-blue water and a shot of Royal Crown.
The Thern, gives his order for a glass of Jameson & Gin
And the Thark, orders: Jim Bean and Jack Daniels
... and a Bourbon ... and a Beer
------- ------- ------- -------
(6)
"Star Trek's Hit The Deck"
As They Journey Into Darkness & Each Distant Star
Kirk & Spock Walks Into The Enterprize's Bar
And Tho' The Ship May Shake & Warp-Drive-Drop
Mr. Spock Keeps As Cool As A Glass of Ciroc
And Captain Kirk, Just Orders A Scotch On The Rocks
('Cause Scotty Takes Care of All The Enterprize's Stock)
------- ------- ------- -------
Poem/Jokes by: MoonBee
Form:
Saloon
Squeezed between office buildings
On lower Broadway
Desolate and out of the way
Faint neon sign marks the place
For the downtown art scene.
Poetry readings on Sunday afternoons
Only the regulars show up
Invited or not
Some mount the stage and
Recite a piece or two
To scattered applause.
The beat goes on
Summer nights fly by
No Sunday readings now
It’s Saturday and it’s a different place.
Crowd mingles
Three deep at the bar
A/C working on overtime while
Marvin Gaye’s What’s Going On plays
Jazzy and soulful
A monster hit
To no one’s surprise.
A hangout for anyone
Bodies waiting to meet
An Agent.
Or maybe a Publisher.
Or a Rep.
Anybody. Somebody. Anyone know somebody important?
Naw, this ain’t the place
This is St. Adrian’s
A place for
Artists.
Writers.
Sculptors.
Working class dreamers.
Pretenders and losers.
Wannabes.
Lost children and
Casual loners on the prowl.
Carol, alone in a corner booth
Glass of white wine in her hands
On the rocks of course
Smiles at everyone like a Mona Lisa.
Jack Micheline
Bronx’ original Beat
Wrote River of Red Wine in ‘58
Manuscript under his arm
Waits for someone
To buy him a drink
Elaine, beautiful in a peasant blouse
Scent of musk oil like a halo
Motions
To the young men
Who watch her hands
Move like deadly weapons
Stan’s a photographer. Sleepy, one night
Left his equipment in a car
Morning arrives and
Broken windshield screams
You’ve been robbed.
Junior, a sculptor, needs rent money for a walkup in the East Village
Otherwise he’ll live on someone’s couch
Gil does commercials
Until he finds an old lady
Then Hollywood here he comes
And Glenn is a writer with lots of ideas
But no paper and no place to go.
No one asked what I did for money
Or where I lived.
I was accepted with a simple sitdownhaveadrink.
Sometimes there’d be ten of us
Squeezed in a booth or
Around a table
Talking and talking.
Any topic not important
Just to meet and forget for awhile
The nagging loneliness and rejection.
It’s well past midnight
Chairs scrape the floor and there’s an echo in the walls
Left behind are empty glasses and stale beer
As the place begins to empty out.
We leave
Hitting the still streets
Looking for a cab
Or the nearest subway
But before we do
We promise to meet again.
BEAUTIFUL BEACHES, A Letter to Daniel
By Curtis Johnson
Hi Daniel,
There once was a man living high on a mountain whose name was Harry
Mt. St. Helen was threatening to blow its top, and everyone started to worry
Harry had been there 60 years and thought he would live on to tell his story
So after being warned to evacuate, Harry refused and decided to tarry
Sadly, when the volcano blew, Harry was later found in 40 feet of ashes
It’s interesting at times, that life can be so tame, so sweet, and so calming. Because of our positive experiences, we relax and enjoy seasons so charming Like Harry, we are unconvinced of danger, and need not fear rumors and warnings
Sandy beaches on the oceanfront are beautiful and lots of fun, when all is sunny and bright. For eight years my family and I lived in San Francisco within four blocks of the Pacific. Believe me when I say that the Oceanside is a calming and charming place. We spent lots of time in the Golden Gate Park and on the beach.
One Sunday afternoon, my two small kids and I took a walk across the rocks above the ocean beach. The waves were coming in pretty far, but I thought that we were high enough. I thought wrong. We had not been on the rocks 5 minutes before the waters came splashing against the rocks that we were walking on. I held the kids and protected them from the big splash. I got pretty wet, but no harm was done, and the lesson was well received.
The sandy beaches of life will often suddenly turn into rushing waves of sea salty waters. My friend, there are times when the volcanoes of life will heat up and blow their top. When they do, we best be aware, heed the warnings, and seek higher ground.
Dan, I do not know what you may be going through presently, but I am praying for you. If for any reason you taste those salty waters of what was once a calm and sandy beach, I have every reason to believe that God is going to change things for you. If the volcanoes of your life have blown its top, I have every reason to believe that the ashes will not bury you. When the troublesome adversities of life blow against all of us, God is always both warning and leading us out to safety.
So Daniel, my friend, may we together seek higher ground. Love you. Curtis09262013
The food was indeed, Greek.
My first Greek Frappe!
A most divine, heavenly treat.
Gods must have created this.
So far beyond good!
In gigantic glasses,with ice chips.
It was as good as an Ouzo on the rocks!
The Festival on Saturday was terribly
overcrowded,
I wanted to leave,before it started.
Fashion in the USA,no kidding has truly
grown retarded!
I like seeing men as men, not dressed as
obese 13 year old boys, sporting baseball
caps.
And the beauty of women?
Tossed away like toys, now women
only dress as boys?
My years are catching up with me,
I must hearedtdly admit.
I wanted to run from an American
culture that is so far from fashion
phenomenally adrift!
Like buffalo we were overcome with
the most fashionably unfit.
I sat with my daughter drinking a
Frappe.
And my only thought was how soon
and how fast we could get away!
I lost my appetite to eat with American
bisons!
With god-ugly toes jutting out of
cheap, plastic flip-flops.
Fat leaping out of obnoxious holes on
jeans of 300 pound women?
Ah, kill me now and let me go to
heaven!
I lost my appetite to eat midst this
hellish plethora of dirty feet.
And hair from hell to top off this
ungodly, human feat.
Then came beautiful girls, their
arms skewed with tattoos so ugly.
My desire to escape hit me much
more than suddenly.
I did have a Pastitsio, that was
yummy!
Just had to keep my eyes off the
volcanic, bulging tummies.
Thank goodness there were not
many children there!
Their mothers, the size of German
tanks would have squashed them
into instant mummies!
I did buy an icon of Christos and
Panayiota holding her child
Both in a carved wooden case.
Now this brought a smile to my
face!
And a turquoise evil-eye bracelet
with crystals, to ward off any
future toe and bison disgrace!
Greek bread we brought to take
home.
I swore up and down to never
leave my home, to roam.
Greek cookies, Kourabiedes,
and Greek bread, seemed to
calm my confused head.
Perhaps, going on a Saturday
was the worst possible choice.
Maybe I can go blindfolded next
year and hush my voice?
Or not go at all?
Still have PTSD, after what I
always previously I experienced
as a yearly treat.
It once was like going to a ball!
September 10, 2029
The attendees were not Greeks.
Form:
do you remember the night
you called me lavender?
laying in my bed
with the curtains drawn tight.
you said for a second
all around me was purple
and my eyes looked right in that shade.
there was a night where
you said that you loved me
for the first time
and those words were
rising in my throat for months
but i let them saturate there
because i needed to be certain
you felt the same.
it was after the accident
and the old man slipped up.
he was fumbling over a pen
as i watched from the passenger
thinking of all the little obstacles
always rising when we're together.
the universe must've been speaking
but we were too busy tweaking
all of the plans so they'd fit anyway.
do you remember our first night together?
right before a movie and dinner
we went down to winchester
to walk on the sky line.
seeing boston from a distance
the horizon was mesmerizing
as we stood up on the rocks.
i saw you leaning in towards me
as the golden hour came around
and i so deeply wanted this
but my body let me down
and i stumbled backwards.
we ended up lost in the woods for three hours
and the night sunk in fast
and i thought to myself
this needed to last
more than the summer, i could do this forever.
no direction, no one else.
i was with you and it was enough.
we reached a dirt bridge.
the moon reflecting on the reservoir
and we took rest by the weeds growing high.
it's were you kissed me for the first time.
with your arms all around me
you told me you'd been wanting
to do this for some time.
everything is swarming around me.
all the little moments have their hold on me.
i want to reach out and grab you,
hear you tell me you miss me.
you miss all the little moments too
and they're enough to keep going
down a path with no clear destination.
i boxed all the memories.
the coins and cards and the photographs
i took with the intention
of showing future generations
a love so special and strong.
they're under a pile of dirty laundry
that i can't bring myself to wash
for any lingering scent of you.
it's all sitting there burning
holes inside my chest.
i lay awake at night
for now i can not rest.
so i watch all the shows
we started at your place
until you want to talk
and meet again, face to face.
Can't see her coming down my eyes...So
Can I Let This Poem Cry
I can't see her coming down my eyes...So
Can I Let This Poem Cry
ONCE AGAIN ITS ON!!!
Flying into a dream...looking through the
unseen
wondering what i'll do...believing it isn't
you
more of believing...feeling it isn't me... The
one your after
Could it Be...Reality is kicking me in the
rear end
MC...Think Clearly...take a moment and
breathe
there's nothing but wondering...a lot of
speculation... nothing more...
F*** the Poem...Now im crying!!!
Water pooling beneath my feet...dripping
on my speculations
my-self slumped on the rocks...A rocky
revelation...
eating me alive and breaking more than
the ground itself
pain sleeping through the pores..Ice Cold
Body...
wishing to apologize...hypothetically
speaking...
probably to mine for longing for
yours...because if it could speak it would
say
more than it's fair share...to convince me
it isn't right to continue
especially since i don't condone what was
done
despite the fact it didn't involve
me...before it was mentioned
but then again... it did... just not physically
the thought was implanted into the mind
so im trying to be kosher... but im driven
in this crime of faith
now we are here in this thing
in this space sharing time
but how can u face me knowing?
Knowing what u know...keeping such
things..because i know
I know it all...I can see the look when it
comes time to lie
to present your face...your
transparent...Dont need 3-D Vision...Clear
and Present
See I try to become blind sometimes...
You Know...to keep the truth of the matter
hidden from sight...to keep it from myself
so i don't have to deal
with the Infidelity...
Emotionally...Potentially... Physical!!!
Damn!!! I really don't want anymore
pain...Do You Care?
Naw.... you don't... oh wait time out... I
forgot your transparent...
So Let me get this straight... you are still
in love with him...F*** me instead...WOW
Remember you said "If i had the
opportunity to and we weren't together I
would get back together with him"
didn't think i was listening did you?
Do I blame you... Naw Not At All!!!
I blame me for not seeing you sooner
So release me from my pain as I release
you
You might see me in the back streets
By the light of the full moon
With my look refined and cunning
I will almost make you swoon
Don't treat me as an enemy
Or fear me as a foe
Don't use evil words against me
I'm a well-bred soul, you know
I'm a smooth, suave, refined old chap
A four-legged paradox
Oblige me for a moment, please
- I'm an urbane urban fox
You've seen me on my rounds
But I'm not heading for your bins
No - you're far too quick to judge me
Though, I confess - I have my sins
One must eat to live, of course
I'll not claim to be benign
But I am a gracious, civil guest
Where're I choose to dine
The hen house holds a great appeal
And I know how to pick the locks
I do that with true style though
I'm an urbane urban fox
My poise and affable demeanour
Give me access to any Mayfair club
I'm a cut above the rural fox
Who seems happy with his "pub"
I'm not one to judge, of course
I'm far too cool for that
But jeans and a checked shirt?
No! I choose a jacket and cravat
No pints for me - it's G & T
Or Martini on the rocks
Oh yes, darling, I really am
An urban urbane fox
I can capture your attention
With my wit and sharp brown eyes
I'm keen to make a business deal
Should my nose smell enterprise
My fur is sleek, groomed and neat
My tail swishes to impress
My paw is keen to shake your hand
When I'm ready to invest
I truly never miss a trick
When opportunity knocks
I'm cordially yours
I'm an urbane urban fox
I enjoy reading high-brow lit
Classical music was written for me
Opera sets my spine a-tingle
So does ballet, naturally
I go shootin' with my country pals
As for skiing - I'd rather not
I find dancing is a pleasure though
I love the Charleston and Fox Trot
But don't class me as a Liberal
I am rather orthodox
Let's steer clear of politics
I'm an urbane urban fox
I'm polished. Well-mannered. Chic.
Rich beyond compare
Elegant and gallant
And oh, so debonair
But yes, I walk the city streets
In the hours before the dawn
There's something about the smell, you see
To which I'm somehow, strangely drawn
Don't judge me for that, please I'm just
A four-legged paradox
I thank you for your time
- With love. Your urban urbane fox
Written 10th April 2016
Winnipeg
Every day you drive down my street, through my neighborhood, anticipating the day we'll infinitely meet
I tried to ignore the feelings I've felt since the moment I walked into your convenient store but it ever holds the creative precipice of something more
You stood less than a foot away while I unconsciously held my nervous breath
You were holding yours too
If only we knew
But now we do
The truth isn't always true
Nor is it free for you or me
The wind blew
Scholastics were very few
Punished for an era that never grew
Her encyclopedias aren't new
Faux dictionaries are the fiction of the past in belated mantras that had to last
Even the fire burns out before it realizes why it was lit
The fireplace watches faithfully as grandpa snores & grandma knits
Mom & dad don't babysit when their tireless infants throw a raging fit, left to wonder where they misplaced a generations first aid kit
Burned their fingers when they forget the oven mitt
We've been there
We've done that
Old news is tucked neatly into older hats
Bootlegs
Winnipeg
Old age is something you earn for the sake of the wisdom you asked to learn
Flowers and trees
Bushes and leaves
The oldest trick in forbidden words still suffers the plot it deceives
Forgotten?
Never
Hidden?
As rightfully as its bidden
Good ole darling ridden
You see the warrior emerging from shame
You see the fighter with nothing left to blame
I still don't even know your last name
But I thank God for you every day because this isn't some highschool football game
There are no players
No more cheerleaders to haunt the jocks in old dressing rooms across the parking lot
They found his body on the rocks bound to a body bag stitched up with old rags, tied with dog tags because some still remember the night they were shot for every secret they carelessly forgot
Pierce her scarlet letter with new fangled knots until she morphs into something better
Take your orders
Draw the margin around the recycle bin's borders
You know exactly what it takes to win
Your folly may never be another man's sin
Dolphins eyelashes seduce that grin from fin to friendly fin
My love, please let me in
© Sarah Herring
I wish I did drugs so I could stop over-dosing on depression and anxiety
I wish I had some drugs so I could self-medicate because I don't always have the energy to meditate
I think my positivity escaped
They ask how I'm doing, and I respond great
Knowing damn well my emotions feel like they are always running late
I know happiness is worth more than money but I still bathe in jealousy of those who base their theme around the C. R. E. A. M.
Need to be positive and build myself up but my thoughts are so selfish
I'm gonna do it with or without you
Think I talk to myself too much
Internal processing the mess of the world tied with the stress of my mind
But I always tell myself I'm fine
You're fine
Right before the anger gets the best of me
What will it be
I can't see the future, but I act like I've been watching it on a DVD
For years now
And when I fall short of the scene
I think back to how I wish I was just a little bit taller
Baller of the past
When all I would do was play basketball and watch movies
Movies made cocaine look so cool at times or at least there was a moment of happiness
And that's all I want these days because I think I'm about to crack
Thoughts telling me maybe try lean because I don't really have anyone to lean on
My meth od of coping is not always crystal clear
So, I drink my alcohol on the rocks with my choice of clear
Because the dark liquor takes me too far past my nightmares
And I just want things to be clear
Again
I wish God would switch my switch from off
I'm tired of walking around in the dark
Scrolling through social media timelines
I refresh religiously but can't refresh my own life
I wonder if drugs will solve my problems
Or simply become another problem
So, I ask myself is that temporary happiness really worth the potential consequences?
Because drugs will the best hug that dug a hole in your heart before you can even protect yourself
Revealing the underlying sinister complex of self-justification
That will keep you high for a little only to crash lower than low
Don't give in, don't follow them, I tell myself
p.s. if I can't fit in I'll stand out, side the lines so much that the original transforms...
Strung out on a rock next to the sea
I thought I felt all there was to be
The moon was there and the stars came out
Was a clear warm night without a doubt
I tossed in a bottle with a note inside
Way out into a receding wave
Who ever found it could not rescue me
there was no need to save
I watched it drift out into the blue
Then gone by the wave that swallowed
My eyes closed by the glare of the moon
The darkness broke by the stars that followed
The moon and stars remained for the night
My mind was drifting; I was weary and tired
Dozed off wondering if the bottle came afloat
Maybe someone would find it and become inspired.
I heard a clinking noise on the rocks aside
The bottle was floating, hadn’t gone out to sea
I picked it up; the cork was still on tight
The message I wrote was dry as could be.
I thought I would toss it back into the sea
Maybe the next wave would take it way out
But then I saw something else inside
Someone had found it without a doubt.
“I found your angry message and I see that you are hurt’
‘I could tell it was from you as I could see that in your eyes”
‘I know when you are there; I can see and hear your mood”
“You talk to the wind but you voice your lies”
“Unknown to you I have been here for awhile”
“You will not see me as I live too deep”
“The sea is my home I have freedom to swim”
“It’s quite the world here, its beauty I reap”
“I will tell you later just who that I am”
“You cannot live with sorrow, must set it free”
“Anger will detain you from pleasure”
“Most all you will be confined from liberty”
“Give up what binds you, throw it to me’
“All that you shed will lighten your load”
“Much weight on your shoulders, you will drown”
“You will then lose all and live in my abode”
“You see, I was just like you, kept all to myself”
“I see that in your frown, I share my empathy”
“You can let misery go and stay in the winds”
“Or float to the bottom without my sympathy”
“If I could have my life to live over, I’d choose to stay
“Sitting on those rocks I thought it was best to fall”
“I didn’t realize that hope could have kept me there”
“Now I am a mermaid in the sea, I lost it all”