Lavender
do you remember the night
you called me lavender?
laying in my bed
with the curtains drawn tight.
you said for a second
all around me was purple
and my eyes looked right in that shade.
there was a night where
you said that you loved me
for the first time
and those words were
rising in my throat for months
but i let them saturate there
because i needed to be certain
you felt the same.
it was after the accident
and the old man slipped up.
he was fumbling over a pen
as i watched from the passenger
thinking of all the little obstacles
always rising when we're together.
the universe must've been speaking
but we were too busy tweaking
all of the plans so they'd fit anyway.
do you remember our first night together?
right before a movie and dinner
we went down to winchester
to walk on the sky line.
seeing boston from a distance
the horizon was mesmerizing
as we stood up on the rocks.
i saw you leaning in towards me
as the golden hour came around
and i so deeply wanted this
but my body let me down
and i stumbled backwards.
we ended up lost in the woods for three hours
and the night sunk in fast
and i thought to myself
this needed to last
more than the summer, i could do this forever.
no direction, no one else.
i was with you and it was enough.
we reached a dirt bridge.
the moon reflecting on the reservoir
and we took rest by the weeds growing high.
it's were you kissed me for the first time.
with your arms all around me
you told me you'd been wanting
to do this for some time.
everything is swarming around me.
all the little moments have their hold on me.
i want to reach out and grab you,
hear you tell me you miss me.
you miss all the little moments too
and they're enough to keep going
down a path with no clear destination.
i boxed all the memories.
the coins and cards and the photographs
i took with the intention
of showing future generations
a love so special and strong.
they're under a pile of dirty laundry
that i can't bring myself to wash
for any lingering scent of you.
it's all sitting there burning
holes inside my chest.
i lay awake at night
for now i can not rest.
so i watch all the shows
we started at your place
until you want to talk
and meet again, face to face.
Copyright © Evelyn Rose | Year Posted 2019
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