Long Lean back Poems

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A Dream of Uruguay

I still have that dream of us
on what would be my last day in Uruguay
sitting on a low stone wall
overlooking the vast sea
while the sun is chased away behind us
and the wind gently brushes the hair from your shoulder
to tease at my arm.

Between us is a slice of cake; Chajá, like promised
picked up while strolling Montevideo 
the real tour being your form in three dimensions
a whisper of peach still on both of our tongues
still secretly wondering if it would taste any differently
if stolen off of lips instead.

Conversation scarce and unneeded
lulled in favor of kicking legs and staring out at birds
as they glide from blue and into orange and magenta blooms
all the while hyper aware
of how charged your long, lithe fingers seem
and how mine, coarse and calloused, are busy supporting my weight
as I lean back with my shoulders
and itch to crawl them closer.

Just the wind carrying unspoken wishes
in a moment so serene and encapsulated
in the lives of youths coming together in ebbs and flows
light crashes of waves 
against a smooth stone wall.

"Can I kiss you?"
not knowing how but moving forward
brushing brows and cheeks with the pads of a thumb
and landing on a chin to hold
so that a featherlight brush might be delivered 
with the proper mix of shy yet the most bold they've ever been.

And peach does taste especially sweet
when bitten off juicy lips.
As how salty air becomes a balm
when breathed fresh between two pairs of lungs

Though time is short and shy and chaste
this moment lingers like a false memory in a bottle
thrown from the wall to be lost at sea
a message to the future when this may be realized
and held precious like a gem and not fragile glass.

I don't want to taint this beautiful delusion
with the reality that is far too unkind
But now if I visit I fear we would both be ghosts
me, an intrusion 
a foreigner retracing the steps of a familiar stranger
mourning the echoes of memories
resenting the setting sun behind the low stone wall

and the parting gift of an overdue first kiss
stolen not by the warm summer wind
nor even the strains of money nor pains of distance
nor "best laid plans"
but by something as simple and foolish
as wanting too much
the wrong kind of slip of the tongue.


While Crawling Toward the Finish

I had been in a deep dream, searching for a lost puppy
When the clanging alarm startled me to reality
The clear images fading like a burning photograph
Then, a desperate sense of unrecoverable loss

Lying on a couch, the beacon clock, clicking my heartbeat
With no desire in facing the awaiting mundane day
My aching back, reminds me of a night of stooped typing
And my dry mouth, of the many vodka inspirations

Opening my eyes, the room is semi aglow with dawn
Turning, I meet the scrutinizing eyes of porcelain frogs
Sliding roughly to a difficult sitting arrangement
Reaching for a bottle of room temperature water

My tongue dampened, I lean back to remember the reason
Why did I need to be shaken from my unconscious state?
Work, yes, that essential means to maintain my existence
Would I be teaching high school mathematics, English, or science?

Rising to my feet and in route the coffee maker
Now noticing the radio playing in the milieu
Earthquake, fire, shootings, political scandal, and weather
The essentials for the complex human news equation

Leaning over a large bed, I kiss my sleeping wife's brow
Patting the dog’s head, continuing to the master’s bath
Later, while adjusting my suspenders, my wife reminds
Lunch is in the refrigerator, don’t forget the trash

On the short commute, through a cold northwest drizzling rain
I evaluate my current role as middle aged
Spending each day killing time, while crawling toward the finish
In my castle of souvenirs and faded memories


Mowing an endless lawn and shoveling tons of compost
The whisper of worry in my ears, about debt and health
Watching my wife grow old and pets slowly age until death
I laugh, at what seems like, the pure senselessness of it all

During my day, I continue to ponder while teaching
Looking into the young faces of my eager students
They are filled with the exciting beginning of new lives
Far from comprehending the classic middle aged crisis

In the evening, within the walls of my cozy cave
The television news professing the Armageddon
My loving wife sleeping off dinner in her recliner
I freshen my drink and am silently thankful for her

© Copyrights G. Jones 2008
© Gary Jones  Create an image from this poem.
Form: Quatrain

Premium Member My Lazy Eye Part 2

Because for my disability there is no magic fix
So in the dead of night when the clock strikes midnight
I lean back slowly in my desk chair and I stare into the darkness
And sometimes I just close my eyes and imagine I'm someone else
Because I'm in so much pain it honestly makes me sick
And the idea of death used to terrify me to the point of being sleepless
But now it just seems like sweet relief if I'm being honest
But it's not like I would ever kill myself or anything
Truth be told this isn't really a poem it's a revelation
This is what I deal with every single day
There are times I honestly feel really good about myself
But those days are truly few and far between
And this piece of paper is the only place I have the courage
To spill my soul in a manner such as this
Because I have never felt like I was worth anyone's time
A lazy eye, anxiety, and no self confidence are my dearest friends
And as I sit here in this chair and reflect my emotions have run dry
Just like my cheeks have finally run dry as the tears ceased
I guess 28 years of feeling inferior is really hard to overcome
And I totally understand there are people who have it worse
I feel empathy for everyone suffering their own private battles
But my experience is uniquely mine, their experience is uniquely theirs
So I don't feel whataboutism has any place in this discussion
When I began this poem I had no idea where it would even go
For once I just wanted to write out my conflict without pretty words
I wanted this message to be as simple and direct as possible
That every time you look in my eyes you can't fathom the agony hidden
But if you know someone with an affliction like mine or any kind
Please just give them a hug and tell them they really matter
Because it might not seem like they need it but they really do
Or maybe it's just me and I can't really speak for anyone
I just know I can't be the only one alone in their room at midnight crying
Because they haven't lived a single day feeling normal
I guess in the end I want to reach out to those just as fractured as me
So that together we can finally be whole again
When the clock finally strikes midnight

Premium Member Wild Bees

I resign myself to a half sleep, to the evening news, and a tepid cup of tea
to old habits, engrained, and a familiar old routine

As the news, tonight, unfolds,
it is there again, to chill the bones
and to turn the blood from warm to cold 

How does one close an eye, turn away,....... compromise?
Here I am once again, in the house, that knows my strife

How insane the world can seem,......
Oh, the theme, is much the same
Renewed, it stays obscene,...  yet, brings a brand new grief

But I shut out discontent,
and catch a jasmine scent 
  and a summer, once I spent,  in the shadow of tall trees

I lean back in my chair, and the air keeps me warm
I'm hearing swarms hum, a drum in my head, not far..., is a wild nest of bees

Surrounded by seas, of the green grassy waves, and I smell sweet alfalfa once more 

Now my arms and my legs are rolling down hills, that tickle my skin, 
....and taking the spin out of me

All the bees scatter 'round...., of a world going wild, 
and have stained red, my shins and my knees.
Where is the green? The clean of all things?
And the springtime of days dead and gone?

I pluck a long stem, it tastes semisweet,
yet, the bitterness still lingers on
From my head to my feet, I can't rest in defeat, 
as sound from the sprinklers resound
They lull me to sleep Ts......Ts......Ts......Ts......Ts
I lie under the trees,
while the wild nest of bees, 
swarm near my head Bz......Bz.......Bz......Bz.......Bz......Bz

I could die, wide awake, as the dusk softly breaks, 
Where the lightning bugs shine in the trees

Small stars in the night, lightening bugs show the way, 
taking me home through the tunnel of day

Drinking sweet jasmine tea,
.... I'm drunk on my dreams,
      but  I think I've been stung
         where my evening begun
              back on the street where I live





    _________________________________________



2/12/14   For Craig Cornish's Contest:  "Angel Of The Odd"

Unmarked Snow

it is a relationship based on trust / based on I Must Have You
_____ Now / somehow / anyhow / need that blend of painguilt &
pleasure / by any measure, have to achieve the ____ maximum / (the
step before finito) //
      //where was it that i lost / you, / self? when did
      i agree to live like this? / i missed out on something /
      crucial / & i fear i've lost my chance to be / 
                                                     ok.
monsters / rest/ in the dark _____ i miss that / that bold
presence tensing my muscles / poising my mind for
every / little / thing that ever was / seconds registered &
remembered with the respect given to / years / a moment is
all it takes to ________ take you away. //
      //hygiene _____ seenfeltknown inside & out / suffering /
      pretending so hard that it's worth / it. the universe is
      in a fit / thrashing about the cage of man-made
      rage / release sought in the singular death of / a
      faith, one by one / every following murder is easier /
      than the _____ previous.
teach me the true meaning / of / now _____ show me how
to forget all the standards i've let myself / pick up / leave
my body of anything below the Best & with the rest _____
_____ destroy. / ignorance is a virtue, allow me to stay
blind while you pursue / the occupation & i can blame
it on not / knowing / any _______ better //
      don't ask me / why, / i'd defend it to the death / 
      it was worth the try ________ .
lean back ____ clear / your / mind / see how long it takes
you till you can't find / yourself / ____ after a while the
awareness gets put / back on the shelf due to / lack of
use. the constant impending abuse is a bafflement, hanging
between every / slip / of ________ for it remains the /
unexplained.
                                        / i'm walking straight into hell
                      too fukced up to tell
exactly why it was i fell. /


My Temporary

As I lay in  full moons glow
Pining for sunrise too take it’s turn
I’m trapped in the body of a person I don’t know
and with every breath I take it burns 

My temporary happiness fueled my desire
A desire that’ll possibly go away with time 
I sit yearning with no one left to call on
and its no one’s fault but mine
Singing the pain from my battered soul  
my temporary happiness was my only peace through the grime

There is no friendship In Pain
There’s no love when winters comes a creeping around the courts
There’s no reason to reconcile there’s nothing I would gain
So I take my retched thought;throw them in the pile and wait to be a corpse.
I prepared  my tears and perform my pain openly in front of  the crowd
then I wipe my eyes lean back my head and wait until I’m covered in a shroud.

You took the first “out” you saw and I understand I can’t say I blame you 
Tho through thick and thin I would’ve been by your side; I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t ashamed of you  
Even those on your side talk to the walls that shut you out
Tho you trust their loyalty even tho they’ve given you reason for doubt 
Friendship is a double sided game 
There’s nobody to blame except there  is  and the blame goes on you…except I love you so much and the truth is for you there’s nothing I wouldn’t do.

My temporary gain in love and happiness was built on nothing but a lie  
My temporary pain wasn’t pain at all if anything for a moment it was paradise 
These temptations are to blame The yearning and desire for they have latched  onto me like a parasite 
And As I lay Wishing I had refrained; i close my eyes and wait for night
Tho When I open my eyes all I can see is my reflection in the paradisiacal white 
I scream in silence 
For my mind is a void, I’m trapped in my thoughts and something has taken control over my life

The New World

The light is breaking through the dark
Kissing the skin of my pale nudity
I am a creature of the darkness
Knowing not to cover myself
Shameless of the body I have never seen
Pools of water around me glow luminescent
Reflecting my eyes to myself 
Innocence rings out in them
For had I ever known the world
I would be corrupt with mankind’s sin
The light is breaking through the dark
Sending ripples throughout the pool
It stands like stone in seconds 
And I glimpse again myself
More than my eyes in the growing light
I see my face and lift my fingers to stroke the velvety softness
Rocks crumble down again breaking the reflection
With every sliver of opening, the sicknesses of mankind contaminate me
I feel awe and anger for the first time
Curiosity piques in me and calms my new emotions
I dip my fingers into the cool dark water and drag them 
The water calms as I calm and form takes again
I gaze at my matured body for minutes
I am beautiful I realize
I understand beauty
For I have seen no other to compare myself to
I am unique I think and want more
Scared of the light coming though
For with the light comes a new darkness
But I crave myself
I step into the water wondering if I can feel this mirror
The cool water perks my nipples
My body, for the first time excites me
I close my eyes and lean back into the water
Experimenting, learning my body
I stand out of the range of the falling rocks
Close enough for the light to bath me still
The light growing stronger and stronger
I hum, finding music inside my soul
Sounds I have never known
I slip beneath the water rinsing myself
When I rise there are eyes staring back at me
Naked the man watches me
My world is being remade
Both good and bad coming with the light
I stand frozen, unashamed
The man takes my hand, and teaches me of the galaxy

Tub

Love,

I want it to pour all over me.

Instead

Here I lay,
exposed, vulnerable, embittered
               NAKED
 locked away from the world
In my bathtub
Closing my eyes, before the water pours over my head.
Inhaling before the water envelops me
Toes curling the porcelain edge
Wondering,
Do I even have it in me again?

To love, to open yourself up,
 to the great above. 
Can you really wash away, and forget, all your past dismay?

Should I let in Love?
The kind that
would pour all over me,
Like the
cat who stretches out, unafraid.
Purring, drinking in, the golden sunbeam it calls home.

Love,

The kind that cascades
Through my hair, gracefully trickling over my eyes.
Dripping down the nape of my neck,
Kissing my chest
Making me sigh.
The comfortable kind, where you can just be.
Be yourself, 
SIMPLY happy.

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
If I could just freeze frame this moment,
and it would be real.

Not just fleeting, you know when the water just ends up being cold. Making you shiver.

But no,
I want to feel real LOVE, pour into my heart,
lifting me up, bringing out the best in me
Cleansing my soul.
For, I do not wish to be this bitter girl anymore.
LOVE

Drip,
Drip
Drip
Drop
Your thoughts, grow intensely
when your thinking deeply about troublesome Love.
Sooner or later the bubbles in the bath pop,
And you realize, no matter what enough will never be enough
and you haven't given up.

There is a point, where you just have to know when to get right back into the tub. Just
lean back, and close your eyes. Let the steam rise. Feel your hair stick to your face,
just have faith. That love will pour all over you,

If you are not afraid.

Love is a journey, love is a surprise, love is heartache, and love is divine.
© Laura Hew  Create an image from this poem.
Form:

The Half Face

That Saturday, 
Was very much like 
any other Saturday for me, 
wasting myself onto some useless news 
in unusual heat of Delhi at this time of year on my 
own route, sitting in front on the right lane of bus on way to 
college, killing the morning, unlike loosing on the rear far from ‘crowd’ 
I always love to ‘hate’, until a GIRL came from nowhere and sat very next to me. 



I rose my 
Head for less to a 
Second before going onto 
the paper which was all over me, 
just able to see her black coat of fur, a diary 
in her hand, a face similar to a lonely canvas & as lifeless 
as a piece of sand, half long hairs lean back with eyes black before 
bright,’unwillingly’ sad looking lost in this air searching her existence in silence. 








Refraining 
her presence, I 
was calm telling myself 
not to see the tears coming out 
from her heart may be because eyes were 
too dry to feel the grief somewhere hidden on those 
messages of her mobile, breaking her before me, I wanted 
to assure her, to help her but I was no one to her but a ‘complete stranger’. 




She looked 
towards me, when 
I was watching the road 
after my window and went into 
her diary the moment I turned to see her 
face which was only half seen from the place I was 
held , feeling as if the time is dead and things stood still, waiting 
for me to say few words to her or telling her to gather herself far from me. 






She stood 
up with her diary 
and before I could stop 
or let her go, she walked away, 
leaving the bus, the ‘loneliness’ she was in, 
leaving her ‘tears’ on me, walking to something she 
needs to reach when I wanted to run away from her, I wanted 
to run to her but failed in both, I now remembers only ‘THE HALF FACE’. 
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………by VG!!

Description of An Alter Ego

A stupid question that lingers in the back of my head
Pools in my mouth, on the tip of my tongue as if I were to get an answer 
My gaze burns into the white wall, maybe if I stared hard enough I would be able to catch a passing glimpse of a variation of me that wouldn’t be so bad 
I would like her to knock on my door
I would invite her inside and ask “It seems like you are better than me, how so?”
She would laugh, her straight pearly teeth on show for everyone to see. No gaps, no flaws, no imperfections 
“Haven’t you answered your own question, because I’m better”
I would ponder on her reply, unnecessarily rude but correct and lean back in my chair wondering if I fell off would I be able to dissolve into the floor beneath me, 
floating away from my own heavy, body
A suit of flesh that isn’t my own
A bag of bones, blood and random assortment of organs
If I had wings, like a crow, I would fly away 
Far from this fleshly vessel I’m stuck in
Far from this tortuous mind
Far from the danger of my soul
Safe from my heart that is a double sided blade

I look at this brass necked reflection of me 
A creature of similar flesh yet so unconnected from my own 
Not an alter ego
But a disgusting reflection of twisted perception of my own disturbed mind that enjoys pulling me apart, taunting me and laughing at my sorrowful pities 
That traps me in a golden cage for it’s own amusement 
Observing me from afar as I sing a cry for help
It’s perfect features with it’s broad grin that laughs at me, at my songs, at my hurt, at the world
Golden chains that hold me down
A song blissfully ignored 
A breath left in a painful sigh
A black feather falls, gently, a dim shooting star fallen
Gone forevermore

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